Day 310: Bye Bye Itaewon

Another morning of sleeping in...only I unfortunately woke up to a bitch of a headache today. I didn't even drink all that much last night, nor was I mixing drinks, so I don't know why I felt so crappy. Hangovers suck! It was a bit of a sad morning in some ways - this would be my last weekend at Michael's place in Itaewon. In a few days he's moving to a brand new officetel apartment way out in Guro on the south side of the Han River and so there'll be no more weekends for me in Itaewon.

Michael and I both have a love-hate relationship with Itaewon. We love it for its centrality and convenience and it has the best variety of restaurants in Seoul and some half-decent shopping and clubs too - but it's also dirty and covered with arrogant, obnoxious, abrasive GI's running around, drunk 90% of the time, and that gets really old, really fast. His new pad is supposed to be kinda far out, but a really awesome place. I haven't seen it yet but Michael says it's like twice the size of his current place, and comes with a washer AND DRYER, a bloody dishwasher (lucky bastard), and the gem of all gems - a Western-style shower!!! Man, I'm totally gonna abuse those appliances every chance I get! ha!

This afternoon we went and saw 'The Incredibles' and I really loved the movie. It was witty and funny and definitely entertaining. A cartoon definitely made for adults, not kids. It was great! After the movie Addie and I split off from the boys and went to do a little shopping at Kyobo before heading back to Ilsan.

When I got home I had a great chat with my good friend Benny on the telephone! I haven't heard his voice since I left back in February and it was so awesome to chat and catch up. He's a great friend and it's really nice to realize that I have some truly amazing friends who I can not talk to for months and months at a time, and then when I do it feels like no time has passed at all. You rock Benny - I miss you bud! I also talked to my family and my sister who's back in T-Bay. I miss them a lot and feel a little sad that I won't be home this Christmas, but hey I'm gonna make up for it in other ways in Boracay!

Another weekend come and gone so quickly - and my last one in Korea in 2004!

Day 309: An Apple A Day...

...keeps Jenny Craig away?

Today was an awesome day!!!

Michael and I slept in and then went and picked up Eric and drove on out to Caribbean Bay!!! Caribbean Bay is the waterpark next to Everland that we visited just this past August. The outdoors portion is obviously closed for the winter season but the inside part is still open. As soon as we sat ourselves down in one of the many hot tubs we all moaned and agreed that coming here to soak in the hot waters was *definitely* a really good idea!

The indoor part is only a quarter of the size of the whole park, but still has several water slides, a small wave-pool, several saunas and hot tubs, and one major surprise... We were quite shocked actually to realize that the Lazy River was still open! The Lazy River is a long, winding artificial 'river' that winds its way through most of the park - both indoors and out! We made a b-line for the river and soon had it verified that you could swim in the outdoor stretch! So there we were swimming and floating along, outdoors, in mid-December! Now how cool (literally!) is that!! :-) It was obviously damn cold when you stood up in the river and exposed yourself to the air, but as long as you stayed in the waters it was quite comfortable actually.

Next to the Lazy River we also discovered three rather 'unique' hot tubs. There were three hot tubs that we each SCENTED! One of them was strawberry, the other apple, and the third lemon. And each of them were coloured appropriately as well! We couldn't resist these, so next thing we knew we were bathing in pink strawberry water outdoors under the December winter sky. It was like sitting in giant pools of Kool-Aid! What was even funnier was the list of diseases and conditions that these three pools obviously 'cure' the bather of. According to the signs, among many other things, the lemon hot tub improves digestion and cleans out the intestines, the strawberry one cures arthritis and cancer, and my personal favourite, the apple one "removes fatness!" Wow! These really ARE special hot tubs!!! ;-)

After Caribbean Bay we went back to Michael's and he made Mexican for us for dinner and then we watched 'Mean Girls' which we've all seen at least ten times already but still love. After the movie we got changed for a night out on the town. We went down the street to meet up with Angele, Meghann, and Meghann's friend Brad at The Rocky Mountain Tavern. The Rocky Mountain is a Canadian pub that looks and feels like one back home - it's full of Canadians and tons of Canuck paraphenelia - flags, maps, posters, jerseys, hockey sticks, and lots of other stereotypical Canadian stuff. It was really relaxed and fun there with cheap drinks. I even ended up running into Emma from Shihung there too. We were only gonna pop in for a quick visit but ended up spending most of the night there.

2 am came round and we finally left. It was too late to go to our original destination out in Hondae so we decided to just stay in Itaewon. We went up the street to a place called Bar Nana which was cool also but very different from the Rocky Mountain. Nana was a very dark and funky, groovy lounge with chilled-out house music. We only stayed about an hour or so and then at that point several of us were getting pretty sleepy. We split up around then and I went back to Mike's to sleep. A fun night (and day) for sure!

Day 308: Guess Who's Back?

Guess who's back in town? ERIC!!! My good buddy who moved to London for school in September is home for the holidays and I was so excited to see him again. Him, Michael and I always had such a blast together all this past summer and we were both looking forward to more good times together.

Eric and Michael came out to Ilsan last night for Thursday Dinner/Game Night and we ordered a couple pizzas and then busted out Addie's new Trivial Pursuit game. It was a lot of fun and so cool to have Eric back! Tonight, Michael came out to Ilsan after work to watch the finale of The Apprentice with Sally, Jason, Addie and I and then after the show was over we drove on in to Seoul.

We met up with Eric and his sister Claire for some drinks at Soho near Michael's apartment. A friend of Claire's showed up later and it was cool just to chill and have some drinks. It was a *really* quiet night out on the hill - there was like nobody out and about. Maybe that's because it's like -37 C tonight!!! Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little here, but fuck it was damn cold tonight! What happened to our mild temperatures that we've been graced with all December-long? We changed locations to Queen later on after a failed attempt to get into closed-for-the-night Helios. Again it was the same - dead dead dead! We didn't stay out all that late cause we were pretty tired so we called it a night around 1:30am and went to bed.

Day 307: Crazy Ajumas

Today was a POLY field trip day, and for the first time in a while it wasn't a cop-out field trip. We took the kids and went to a pottery workshop! It was at this Korean pottery shed way out of Ilsan out in the country - rice paddies, narrow roads, and under-construction high-rise towers encroaching from the city's periphery. The roads were really skinny with sharp curves. There were several times where I honestly didn't think that the bus was going to make a corner without getting stuck or hitting a fence or a building. Keep this in mind...it'll come in factor later on...

The pottery session was fun. All the kids got to decorate these cone-shaped hanging flower pots that will later we 'blazed' and mailed back to school. Even all us teachers got the chance to make one. On mine I carved in all the names of my kids and I'm hoping it turns out alright. All in all a very fun field trip enjoyed by all.

The trip home proved to be rather....interesting...with an unexpected delay. Each class has their own mini-bus, and so we piled back in to head back to school. Well only two of the five busses made it back out the original way we took in. Three busses couldn't round this one corner cause it was just too steep for the bus to turn. The Parrots bus happened to be one of those busses 'stuck' behind.

The three drivers decided to back up to the pottery workshop and take a different road back to the city. This road was a dirt one that wasn't well-worn, but looked fairly straight and easier to navigate. Well after not even a half-kilometre down this other alternative road we came to a stop again. We weren't even on a corner so I couldn't figure out why we had stopped moving. I was in the middle bus and so I couldn't see ahead as to what obstruction lay in front of the busses. All of the bus drivers left the busses to go out and take care of the apparent "situation" in the road...

The "situation" turned out to be a crazy ajuma (old Korean lady) who was in the middle of the road blocking the busses and refusing to move. And no, she wasn't in another vehicle - she was standing there in the way. And screaming! Apparently she was pissed off that the busses were driving in front of her house and decided to put a stop to this. Addie in the first bus had a full view of the show and reported that she was totally livid and just kept yelling at the drivers in rage and shaking her finger at the bus. Why us passing by her home pissed her off so much, I don't know, but she sure had a bee in her bonnet over this!

Given that we had no other way out, the drivers could not back down. Even the lady from the pottery shop came out to help us and had to physically pull the crazy lady off the road cause she would just NOT move! Finally, after about 15-20 minutes of this fiasco, we 'escaped' from the clutches of that cranky old bag and drove on by. I caught a glimpse of her as we did and man was she ever enraged! Whew!

We made it back to school quite a bit later than the first two busses who were surprised at our ordeal. Who knew that the Korean countryside could be so treacherous and exciting! ;-)

Day 306: The Countdown Is On

I promised myself I wouldn't do it, but I gave that up over a week and a half ago. "It" being not counting down the days until my vacation to Boracay. I knew that as soon as I started the official countdown there would be no turning back, and doing so would inevitably slow down time - the one thing that I definitely don't want to do!

Three weeks until Departure Day I caved in, and changed my MSN screen name to '21 Days Left!' Well since then, every single time I've logged in, I've changed my nick to the appropriate number of days left. I'm so dumb! Actually the plan hasn't backfired yet, December has gone be really quickly in fact, with the exception of last week where it went so slow I swear it was moving backwards...

Well now it's Wednesday and there are only TEN DAYS left! Tomorrow I get to go down to single digits, and that's definitely a big deal! The rest of this month is going to be crazy busy, which is kind of a pain in the ass, but maybe it'll also help to make time go by quicker by keeping me occupied.

Seriously, this trip can't come fast enough. I'm so excited about it, you have no idea! It's like the dream holiday of a lifetime, and it's finally going to be mine! Addie and Katie are just as excited about as I am, and it's close enough that we can actually start talking about stuff we're gonna pack...

Fingers crossed that the next ten days fly bo really, really quickly!

Day 305: RIP Dmitri

My little Dmitri is dead!

:-(

And even worse, I watched the whole thing unfold before my very eyes. I saw him go down, and watched him struggle and take his last breath. It was an awkward and messy death. No silent trip to the heavens in his sleep. This was a death full of pain and anguish. Poor little guy!

When I got home he was looking *even worse*, and so I decided that maybe I could help by cleaning his bowl. It was time for a water replacement anyways, and maybe the fresh supply of clean water would rejuvenate him. Well when I put him in the new clean bowl he suddenly became VERY alert.

He began racing around and around and around the bowl. He'd dive to the bottom of the bowl, sit there for like half a minute, and then CHARGE up to the surface. He'd do this over and over and I was convinced he had become suicidal and was trying to launch himself out of the bowl. The water was clean and non-toxic - I cleaned it the same way I always do - so I don't know why he reacted this way.

Then it got even weirder. He turned totally psycho and began swimming crazily, crashing into rocks, shells, and the sides of the bowl. At one point he was even swimming *upside down* for a while. I've never seen a fish do that before. And he was still doing his 'surging for the surface' routine.

Finally one time during one of his dives he went and wedged himself in between a rock and a shell and just sat there. It was like the squeezed himself into the tightest point he could find, and then just sat there. And then he was dead! I kept hoping maybe he was resting from his aquatic aerobics or had come to his senses and was feeling remoreseful for his disturbing behaviour, but alas, he was already gone. I poked him just to make sure, and he indeed was dead.

I am now "boy with fish" no more. I live alone in a completely empty apartment. My finned room-mate is now dead. May you rest in peace, Dmitri. I'll miss you little buddy!

Day 304: Not Looking So Good

Dmitri is not looking so good these days, and I'm convinced he's on his way to The Big Pond In The Sky. Now I know I've been saying that since July when I was certain that I had killed him like a hundred times over the summer, but this time it really does look like it.

He's all slow and bloated now. He's less perky and responsive to feeding time. And his colour, in the last few days, has been changing too. He's normally a deep purple with crimson streaks, but now his tummy is all fat and beigish. It almost looks like he's pregnant which is impossible cause he's male and lives alone (as if I actually know his sex.) He's definitely not looking healthy at all.

I don't know if it's something I did or if it's just cause he's old. I mean how long do these fish live for anyways? He was Brad's and so he's gotta be at least a year old. Fish are persnickety creatures at best - a slight change in water temperature or chemical make-up and they go belly-up. He's lasted a while but I'll feel bad if he dies. Not only will I miss the lil guy, but I'll feel like I failed Brad too!

Oh Dmitri, hang in there buddy!

Day 303: Intellectualism

Michael and I had an interesting conversation last night/early this morning. He brought up the fact that as of late he doesn't often have "intellectual" conversations, but never really noticed it until someone pointed it out. Neither of us feel like we've been lacking chats that have depth or academic scope, so what's the big deal? We got into this big discussion about how our lives have each changed since leaving our respective academic environments, and as a result our day-to-day conversations have thus changed quite a bit too.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of university life that I truly loved was having these amazing awesome intellectual conversations with my peers. It didn't matter if it was in a lecture or tutorial, or at the pub after class, or at some house party or wherever, but my life was filled with these truly fantastic conversations. Conversations filled with the exchange and debating of ideas and opionions, philosophies and ideologies. Sometimes rather passive, sometimes rather contemptuous, these great dialogues were challenging, enlightening, and entertaining. To me they represented the true spirit of all those who pursue greater education.

Since graduating university, two and a half years ago now, the frequency of these conversations has dropped significantly. It doesn't mean that I'm stuck bored having shit conversations now, it just means that the nature of range of topics have changed. And as I communicated to Michael, I don't think that's a bad thing at all. We're in a completely different environment now, living a completely different life. Our conversations are now filled with discussions on curriculam and classroom management, teaching horror stories and funny anecdotes, and our plans for our precious weekends. Having a lack of conversations that may traditionally be labelled as "intellectual" doesn't make us any less intellectual, we just have other things to talk about now.

I believe that those "intellectual" discussions cannot really be forced or scheduled into your life. They're best when they just naturally happen on their own. Otherwise they feel fake, as if you're playing a part to try and maintain some degree of academia in your life. Life is full of change, people and places move and evolve, the actors and setting in our life are not a stagnant backdrop. Times change. And it doesn't mean that we've gotten dumber just cause we're not debating Japanese Post-World War Two industrial development or 1960's social planning paradigms in North American suburbs. Still, it is a little hard not to feel like you're "slipping", or loosing your "intellectual edge" or something.

I guess this is all just part of growing up?

Day 302: Lions, Tigers, and Bears - (Oh My!)

Today was a fantastic day!

Today was the POLY staff Everland Day! Our bosses at work took the staff our to Korea's largest amusement park for the day, and considering that this trip was originally supposed to happen months ago, we were all looking forward to it a lot. Everland was the theme park I went to with Steven and his family back in April, and is definitely a blast.

Addie and I paired up with Jason and Sally for the day and the four of us had a total riot. We rode on ride after ride and had plenty of laughs. It was a chilly but sunny day and an ideal day to visit the park - there was hardly anyone there! When I was there last spring we often had to wait anywhere from forty minutes to two hours to get on a ride. Today, our average wait was only about 5-10 minutes! Sometimes we could even just walk right onto the ride! Wow, right on!

We went on both roller coasters three times each (including the scary one with two loop-de-loops and a corkscrew, which still feels like a big accomplishment for me!) and hit all the other popular rides of the park - the ferris wheel, the log ride, the Amazon Express, and even made it onto the African Safari. This was a ride that I had never been on cause usually the wait is excrutiatingly long. There was a bit of a wait today but it was well worth it. This ride is a bus-ride on a road through a forest that is full of animals just wondering around - no pens here! There was prides of lions and tigers, a herd of giraffes, an elephant, some ostriches and zebras, and at least 15 bears! It was really cool cause some of the animals would come *right up* next to the windows of the bus and I've never seen any of those animals that close up before. They're huge!!! It was really cool but I kept thinking that the glass on the bus windows didn't seem very thick. One angry swipe from a lion or grizzly and I'd so be toast! Oh my!

All in all we ended up spending a good seven hours at the park and all had a great time. The whole park was fully decked out in Christmas gear and it was really festive with all the trees, wreaths and holly, lights, and Christmas songs at every ride. We left the park around 7pm and took a bus to Gangnam Station in Seoul. When we got there Addie, Sally, and Jay headed off to COEX while I met up with Michael and a bunch of his friends for dinner.

We had dinner at this really awesome French/Italian restaurant that was one of the best eateries I've visited yet in Korea - great menu, not over-priced, superb service, good music, and really cool funky atmosphere and decor. I'd definitely like to come back to this place again, even though it's nowhere near my home.

The cab ride back to Itaewon after dinner was a hilarious one. There were five of us trying to find a cab that would take all of us in one taxi, which is easier said than done. Finally we found a young taxi driver who would take us....and he was unique to say the least. We all crammed into his cab and immediately saw that it was decorated in a...space theme! There was black sparkly paper on the ceiling with tons of cut-out glow-in-the-dark star stickers! Plus the dashboard and gear shift area were full of colourful lights and flashing glowing doohickeys all over the place. It was totally psychedelic! On top of that this guy had this combo 80's mullet/perm thing happening, and was BLASTING Korean pop at insane levels. I remember all us breaking out in hysterics while squished together, flying across a bridge over the Han River, with "It's Raining Men" screaming out of the speakers. Too funny! (another crazy random moment here in Korea!)

Michael and I were supposed to hang with Ailish and the Shihung gang tonight but 11:30pm came and we still hadn't heard back from them yet... So instead we decided to invade the pajama party that Angele and Meghann were having. We ended up having a fantastic time there! We played music (incl. Gwen Stefani's new solo album which kicks major ass) and broke out the Cranium. And then Meghann served the most perfect magical blissful holiday snack ever. She made home-made egg nog, full of rum and whipped cream, and I drank that with Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts!!! OMG!!! It sounds strange but it was the best combo ever since peanut butter and jam. I have no idea why but it tasted fucking amazing! We stayed fairly late and had a great time with the girls before heading home to bed. What a fantastic Saturday!

Day 301:A Not-So Subtle Hint

In case anyone was dying to send me a Christmas card (or even better, a present!) but couldn't because they didn't have my address, your days of sadness and frustration are over! Here is my mailing address:

Scott Erdman
POLY Returnee Education Institute
5F Shinilsan Plaza B/D 1064-3
Ilsandong, Ilsangu
Goyangshi, Gyonggido
Republic of Korea
411-827

No longer will you spend you dark nights crying at home, *yearning* to send me something in the mail. Something fun and festive and fabulous for the holidays! Dreams do indeed come true, and now yours can too. So go ahead and run on down to that post office right away. Like now. No, I really do mean it. NOW. Get your fucking lazy ass off the couch and mail me something dammit, I'm lonely and want some goddamn mail!!!

(Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

Oh, and Merry Christmas! ;-)

Day 300: Courting Christmas

Tonight was an awesome night!

It was Thursday night, which is our usual dinner party/game night. Tonight, however, we decided to do something a little different. We met Michael and Young-Suk (Michael's current beau) at LaFesta and had a really yummy dinner out at Ho Lee Chow. Ho Lee Chow is an American-Chinese chain and although it's a little on the expensive side, is totally yummy and the perfect fix for when you're craving Western-style Chinese food.

And after dinner we went and had Christmas Norabang! Norabangs are singing rooms, kinda like karaoke only it's just you and your friends in your own private little room. You've got two mikes, a couple giant tv screens, a thick book stacked full of song choices, and a disco ball to get you in the mood. We sang all Christmas carols and it got all of us in such the holiday spirit! It's hard sometimes to get into the holiday mood when you're away from your family and friends and home country (and snow) but tonight we were definitely feeling the Christmas vibe! Now I don't sing myself (unless I'm horribly drunk, in which I do a great imitation of a dying cat in heat being eaten alive by another dying cat in heat) but it was great to just sit and watch and listen to my talented friends belt it out. They even sang "Last Christmas" for me which is my personal fave Christmas song (well, that and "All I Want For Christmas Is You") Good times!

Considering how far I am from home, and that Christmas isn't that big a deal in Korea (well, not nearly on the scale it is back home anyway), things have been especially...festive...in my life lately. Between holiday gift-wrapping, practicing Jingle Bell Rock everyday with the Parrots, and then tonight's carol singing, I'm definitely excited about the holidays now. I'll be spending Christmas in tropical paradise this year on Boracay which will be a surreal, un-Christmas experience in itself, but nonetheless it is, indeed, beginning to look (and feel) a lot like Christmas.

Day 299: The Hills Are Alive...

...with the sound of music!

A few months ago I wrote an entry about the embarrassingly long list of movies that "everybody in the world has seen" except for myself. Well tonight I got to cross another off that list! Addie, Katie and I had a little pizza party after work and we rented The Sound of Music.

AND I LOVED IT!

Oh what joyous, magical, musical fun it was! To be a VonTrappe child, singing and dancing your way over the Austrian Alps following an unconventional nun and your six Arian siblings, choreographically fleeing from those pesky Nazis, oh what fun that must be! I can see why this movie is such a much-loved classic. It was great!

Our pizza party didn't go quite as well though. We ordered two pizzas, but when they arrived only one of them was what we ordered. We had ordered a cheese pizza and a special veggie pizza (pineapple, mushroom, olives, and onions) but we received a cheese pizza and a Hawaiian pizza. I don't eat ham so I was pissed off about this cause the veggie one was for me. Katie's Korean friend Se-Jong was there too, so he phoned them back, and asked what the deal was. Well apparently "they don't make this pizza", which is totally untrue cause I've ordered it twice before from them. Argh! Klogic (Korean Logic) strikes again!

Oh well, what can you do? At least I had a young and energetic and busty Julie Andrews to sing my disappointments away! ;-)

Day 298: Going Postal

I was so proud of myself today! Today, for the first time ever since arriving in Korea, I went and *mailed off packages* to back home! Woohoo! The postal system is intimidating in any country, even your own. But in a foreign country, under a foreign language, with foreign policies, it's all the more daunting. I had successfully managed to avoid the Korean postal system all these months, but today I could hold out now more. I had two boxes of Christmas gifts that needed to be sent, or they really wouldn't arrive before Christmas.

I didn't even know where the nearest postal outlet was, so during afternoon prep time Addie took me down to the closest one. The whole process ended up being much easier than I thought it would be. I've heard a couple horror stories about various frustrations that friends have had trying to mail stuff here in Korea, but luckily for me I didn't experience any of that today.

If anything, the experience was rather amusing. The lady helping me had decided that it was better if my two boxes were sent as one package in a single giant box. But, alas, she could not find a box large enough to fit both of them. This did not deter her, however, and she seemed *utterly convinced* that she could defy the laws of physics and fit both of my boxes into some box, ANY box, that she could find in the postal outlet. She tried over and over again to fit the boxes in, trying different sides and angles, and pulling out any large box she could find. It was like watching a seven-year old attempt a Rubix cube! After many, many failed attempts at this, she sighed a big sad breath of frustration and finally gave in.

And so my two, separate, boxes of Christmas goodies are now on their way to Thunder Bay. Yah for me! :-)

Day 296: Fatal Statistics

I would never ever want to drive a car in Seoul. Ever.

Traffic in Seoul is a nightmare of the grandest and most horrific kind. I've talked about it a million times in this blog and it's something that I'll never ever get used to. It plagues every megacity of the world (and even the smaller more peaceful ones like Vancouver) but it just seems to be especially excrutiating here in Korea. Maybe that's just cause I live here and see it all the time.

On top of the sheer volume, the Koreans are just terrible drivers. Now I know that sounds horribly discriminatory and prejudiced and Western-skewed, but honestly, it really is true. And the stats are there to back it up. I don't remember exactly where I read this, but apparently Korea is in the top three in the *world* for traffic fatalities. It may even be Number One. The people here drive insanely, as if they're the only ones on the road. Speed limits are suggestions, everyone's in a mad rush, people cut you off and will accelerate so as to not let you into a lane, will merge without checking for a safe opening spot first...it's ridiculous. And they're all so AGGRESSIVE and ANGRY behind the wheel. It's like this horrible self-perpetuating cycle of angry dangerous drivers breeding and encouraging other drivers to be more angry and more dangerous. Just to give you an indication of the Korean society's view on driving, all vehicles made here come here with the OPTION of a turning signal. Yep, they're not even mandatory!

Now I've never driven here myself (and never ever will, unless I'm feeling suicidal that day) but have been in the car quite a lot thanks to Michael's car. Michael is the most easy-going and passive guy you'll ever meet, but he turns into a raging screaming swearing bitch as soon as he gets behind the wheel here. It's about one part amusing, and two parts frightening.

There's this one bridge that we drive over sometimes on the way to the south side of the Han River, and every time I see it it's a morbid and sobering reminder of what traffic and drivers are like here. It's a giant digital screen over the road just before the bridge that has two sets of numbers. The first number is a live up-to-the-minute tally on the total number of accidents that has occurred in the city that day. I've seen it range anywhere from one to three digits.

And just below that stat is another number - the total number of deaths in the city that morning caused by traffic accidents.

It sends a chill down my spill every time I see that. That's somebody's son or daughter or mother or father that has been lost in a tragic way, and now they're a haunting statistic on a digital screen above a roadway. And I've never ever seen it at zero! This sign is supposed to be some sort of dark psychology to get people to slow down and become better drivers. I don't know what kind of effect it has on the Koreans, but it sure affects me every time I see it.

Day 297: Guilty Pleasures

Now most of you may already know this, but in case you don't, I'm a huge sucker for stupid cheesy teen movies. Can't Hardly Wait. She's All That. Clueless. Ten Things I Hate About You. The Princess Diaries. Chasing Liberty. Mean Girls. Coyote Ugly. They're all bad, and yet I love them all. They're bad in a good way, I guess you could say, and as much as the university-educated, media-savvy, left-leaning, fiercely intellectual (on a good day) adult male in me tries to resist, I give in every time (twist my rubber arm.)

And the stupidest and cheesiest and teeniest guiltiest of all pleasures, for me, is Bring It On. God I love that movie! I could watch it a thousand times over and over and never get tired of it. It's awesome. It's funny. And watching it always puts me in a great, energetic mood. :-)

Addie's as much of a fan of it as I am, and we recently introduced Katie to Bring It On for the first time and she loved it too. And so tonight we decided to commit the most mortal of all sins - we went to a DVD bang and watchted the *straight-to-video* sequel to this movie. (all hope for me is now officially lost.)

There's definitely a reason this movie didn't get played in the theatres. Cause it sucks!!! We knew that it wasn't going to come close to the splendorous fromage of the first one, but it was still a big disappointment. And it wasn't even like we just rented it and watched it at home - we went and saw it on the 'little big screen' at a DVD bang! Argh how dumb are we! LOL

So yeah, lesson of the day, if you love Bring It On as much as I do (or even half or a quarter or 6.47% as much as I do) don't bother renting this movie. Trust me - there'll be no cheers coming from you when it's over (except for maybe the fact that it's over!) haha!

Day 295: Collective Penitence

www.sorryeverybody.com

Your apologies are accepted. :-)

Day 294: The Longest Word

I teach Vocabulary instead of Reading to all my afternoon classes on Fridays. It's a nice break from the reading material and the curriculam is so perfectly planned out that literally all I need to do is just walk right into class with the text and go right from there. It's easy as pie! Sometimes I like to throw in odd random stuff just to make it a little more fun and interesting for the kids, and today I did just that.

I taught them the longest word in the English language.

Now many people incorrectly think that the longest word is supercalifragilisticexpedaliocious, but not only is that not even a real word (sorry Mary Poppins) but there's one longer than that. I learned it in Grade 4 and can still remember it to this day. That word is:

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

It's actually surprisingly easy to spell and pronounce, if you break it up into its individual parts. It's the name of a disease that you get from inhaling volcanic dust that causes some form of lung cancer. It's a real word - honest! - go and look it up!

Anyway all my kids thought I was pretty smart for knowing a word like that, and were all quite eager to learn it. I also told them that there was a vocab quiz next week, and that the bonus question of the quiz would be to try and spell that word, and if they were able to do so correctly, I'd give them a free homework pass. Now *that* was some serious motivation! It's fun to be an English Teacher and to be able to throw out random not-so-little words to the Koreans like pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!

Day 293: You've Got To Read This

I've been able to do a lot of reading since moving to Korea, and have thus read some truly amazing books. I don't get a chance to sit down and read as much as I would like to in recent months (work and my social life keep me really busy) but still find a bit of time here and there. I've also bought quite a few books in the last year or so, and so my little library here keeps on growing. I have more books than I have time to read, but yet I keep buying more. And I'm pretty proud of my collection. I've got a variety of reading material from a variety of authors and genres, and plan to keep on adding more.

One question I love to ask people, and particularly enjoy doing this on dates, is "what is your favourite book?" You can tell a lot about a person by how they respond to this question, and what book they answer with. I know which one is mine - "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. I've talked about a book a number of times in this blog and it still holds the place of being my personal favourite. I've read it a number of times, usually every time I'm going through a major change in my life as I find it very inspiring and strengthening. Other amazing books that I've read in the last year include:

-"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel
-"Fast Food Nation" (I forget the author's name)
-"White Oleander" by Janet Fitch
-"The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
-"Catch Me If You Can" by Frank W. Abagnale and
-"The Clash of Civilizations & The Remaking of World Order" by Samuel P. Huntington

I'm currently reading (and thoroughly enjoying) Paulo Coelho's latest, entitled "Eleven Minutes", and have quite the cool line-up to follow - "The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson, "The Geography of Thought" by Richard E. Nisbett, "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde, "Vanity Fair" by William Makepeace Thackeray and "The Action Hero's Handbook" by David and Joe Borgenicht. Man, there's just not enough time to do all the reading I'd love to!

What I'd love to know is what is YOUR favourite book? I'm always looking to expand my library, and what better way than to read the personal favourites of all of my friends? So please take a second and add a comment leaving me the title and author of your favourite book. Something that I've just got to read. And hey maybe it'll end up on my book shelf in the near future!

Day 292: Kings Of Air Guitar

I know I've said this a thousand times before, and you're probably all sick of reading this, but my Parrots really are the cutest kids in the world! And if you were in my class today with them you totally would have agreed.

I play my own music during Activity time at school, and have recently been playing the 'Love Actually' soundtrack. It's a great soundtrack, and my kids enjoy it too. Especially Track 1. A LOT! Track 1 is "Jump" by Girls Aloud (it's a cover of the 1980's Pointer Sisters' hit "Jump For My Love") and is a TON of fun!

Well when that song came on today my kids put on a little performance for me, one of which I honestly did not train them to do. The song has quite a strong beat, and they all started to bob their heads in unison. They were giggling and bobbing along and it really was quite adorable. Well suddenly Hae Keun, Andy, and Brian got up out of their chairs and started to play *AIR GUITAR!* I have no idea where they learned this but it was hilaroius!

And then David got up and started to pretend he was a crazy drummer, and then Isabelle and Grace got up and began to dance like MTV back-up dance girls, grooving along to the song with the boys. I started laughing uncontrollably and then at this point the rest of the class got out of their seats and danced along as well. God, I wish I had a video camera!

My kids now do this every time this song comes on, and I've allowed it to be our "crazy dance song". Normally they aren't allowed to do this during class time but it's so cute and completely hilarious that I can't say no. I've even brought in other teachers to watch them rock out to air guitar for 'Jump.' You really gotta see it to believe it! I feel like my class is, during this song, is like Jack Black's "School of Rock", only it's all 'air instruments!' Too cool!!!

Day 291: That Damn Cat!

After work tonight Addie and I went to fetch Benny and bring him to Addie's place. Benny is Katie's cat, and since she's going to be staying at her friends' place for the next while until a new apartment can be found for her, Addie's gonna be taking care of him.

Benny is a large and affectionate black and brown striped cat. And he does NOT like to be shoved into duffle bags, let me tell you, as I found out the hard way tonight!

Our original plan was just to carry him over the few blocks it is to Addie's place, but he's a very squirmy cat and doesn't like to be held for longer than a few seconds. There's no way that we'd be able to carry him in our arms across the Village without him wriggling his way out. And once we lost him on the streets, we'd never be able to find him again!

Well after attempting to wrap him in towels and blankets to calm him down while we held him, we realized that this just wasn't going to work. He was NOT going to Addie's place in one of our arms, no matter what he was wrapped in! After several failed attempts of this he ran under Katie's bed and would not come out for love or money. And during this scuffle I ended up getting one of my hands mauled by his savage claws! Argh! We tried to woo him out from under the bed but had no luck. He no longer trusted either of us (and for good reason! haha!) We even left the apartment for ten or fifteen minutes hoping he'd calm down and come out from under the bed, but after returning to the apartment and seeing him still under the bed, we gave up on that idea.

At this point we decided to leave him for a while and went to Wal-Mart to do a grocery run. We were gone over an hour and after shopping we once again went back to try again to get that damn cat out of Katie's and into Addie's apartment. When we got to Katie's Benny seemed like he had 'forgotten' about our previous blanket/towel torturous transportation methods and came out from under the bed. This time we were prepared. Addie had brought a duffle bag, and so we grabbed that cat and shoved him quickly into the bag and zipped it up.

Benny was SO NOT impressed!

He meowed and howled and screamed and growled but there was no way we were letting him out til we got to Addie's. So there we were, walking through the streets of the Village, me with his giant litter box in my arms, and Addie clutching this screeching black duffle bag to her chest! We got many a strange look from Korean passerby, let me tell you! "Crazy cat-stealing foreigners!" I'm sure is what they were thinking. LOL

But in the end we got to Addie's with Benny and let him out. He was PISSED at us but seemed to forgive us a little after we fed him. Oh Benny, don't you know this is all for your own good!

Day 290: Red Neon Crosses

Today was a very weird day at work. Katie didn't come to work today, and word quickly spread about what had happened to her. Every single one of the staff were absolutely shocked and horrified to hear about her night of terror. There was definitely a weird tension/sadness in the air today in the staff room. Everyone was really quiet all day, and you could tell that all of the staff were lost in thought over what had happened. Katie's supposed to come back to work tomorrow - if she's up to it. I talked to her later on and she said she was looking forward to coming back to work, just for the sake of the routine, and for the fact that our school feels safe and comfortable to her. Poor Katie - I feel so bad for her over what happened!

Addie and I walked home tonight, just the two of us, and again that felt weird too. We played a strange little game though to occupy our minds and it was quite amusing actually. Every once in a while we'd stop in our tracks and count all the red crosses we see. And let me tell you, there are a LOT of neon red crosses in Korea.

Christianity is relatively new to Korea (was introduced just after the Korean War I believe) but has since become very popular, with now almost half of the country claiming to be Christian. Next to the Philippines, Korea is the most Christian of all Asian countries. This boom in Christianity has resulted in an explosion of churches across the Korean landscape. There are thousands upon thousands of churches across this country, and every single of them has a cross on top which is lit up in red neon at night. The Korean cityscape is literally a sea of red crosses as far as the eye can see. It's unbelievable!

And so our game became to count all the red crosses that we see at random points on our walk home. On average, no matter where we were, we could always see at least four or five or more red crosses from our given vantage point. We must pass within view of at least thrity or forty churches during our half hour walk home. That's a lot of churches, let me tell you!!! And that's just our little corner of Ilsan! You multiply that red neon cross factor across all of Korea and you start to get the true tally in your head. Wow! For those with Christian religious tendencies, there sure are a lot of options here.

Day 289: A Night Of Terror

Something horrible happened tonight, and it is a night that I will remember vividly for as long as I live.

I was in Kyobo Books with Meghann just cruising around when I received a very distressing phone call. It was a call from my co-workers Kelly and Mike, who were at home in Ilsan and asking me to come to their place immediately. There was an urgency in their voices but they seemed reluctant to tell me what the emergency was over the phone... I kept asking "is everything okay?" and then they finally told me....

A stranger had broken into Katie's apartment and had attacked her, and she was hiding out with them.

OH MY GOD! HOLY FUCK!

I left Kyobo immediately and caught a bus straight back to Ilsan, fearing the worst all along the way. I was so scared and so worried for my dear friend. What the fuck had happened?

When I got to their apartment Katie was there along with Jeremy (her ex-boyfriend), Addie, and two of our bosses. The police arrived shortly after and I sat in and listened to Katie's recount of her night of terror.

Apparently Katie had got home to her apartment around 5pm and had decided to take out the garbage. When she left her apartment she accidentally bumped into a man who was running up the stairs in her building. She thought nothing of it at the time. She brought her trash down to the curb and went right back to her apartment. She went inside and went online onto Messenger to talk with some friends. After a little while she had to use the bathroom.

And when she went into her bathroom she was horrified to discover a strange man hiding in there waiting to attack her. He grabbed her neck and began to strangle her. She tried to scream and fight him off but he was too strong and she couldn't catch her breath to scream. He pushed her onto her bed and began to make sexual advances...

Suddenly he stopped and began apologizing to her, feeling very sorry and remorseful and asking for her forgiveness. Realizing that he was mentally unstable, she tried to calm him down and then persuade him to leave. This proved to be useless, as a few minutes later he became aggressive again and once again attacked and strangled her.

This back and forth between remorse and apologies, and aggression and strangulation went on for the next *hour and a half.* He refused to leave and became very angry and violent every time she tried to make her way to the door, and she was literally a prisoner in her own apartment with this terrifying psycho.

When he attacked her again she decided that she had had enough and was going to fight back with all that she had. She's a very small girl and he was rather strong, but she grabbed her keys and jammed them into his neck. The keys did not puncture the skin and instead just made him more angry and violent. She tried to scream but again because he was strangling her she could not. Somehow she managed to escape him for a brief second and ran out of her apartment screaming. Mike and Kelly live right next to her, and thank god not only were they home but their door was unlocked. She ran into their apartmet in hysterics while the strange man took off.

119 (in Korea it's the opposite of home) does not speak English, so they phoned our bosses in panic. And shortly after that is when they had phoned me...

I was so happy to see that Katie was okay (ie: not dead and not raped) but was horrified to see her neck. Her neck was totally red and all scratched up and bruised with these massive RED lines where he had tried to strangle her. She was completely shaken up and still terrified that he would come back. It was so, so, so horrible to see my good friend like that and feeling like there was nothing I could do to help her.

When the police arrived she had to tell them the *full story*, piece by piece, and I tell ya, sitting there on her bed (where it had happened), listening to her painfully give every detail to the police, and seeing her breaking down several times in fear, is a sight that I will always have with me in my memory. It's an image I won't ever forget, to see my friend so hurt and so scared.

Now this is all especially surprising since violent crime in Korea is very rare. It's just not in the culture here like it is in Western culture. Theft is common here, but home invasions and attacks are extremely uncommon. Hell, unless you're leaving for a while most people don't even bother to lock their apartments! I mean every single time I've ever gone to take out my trash I've never locked my door. You're only gone for a minute, and like I said, there's normally never any fear about this kind of stuff. Seoul is a surprisingly very safe city, for both locals and foreigners. But I'll never leave my apartment unlocked ever again, even if it is just for thirty seconds.

Unfortunately the police here are a complete joke. They don't know what they're doing and hardly even seem to care. Hell they didn't even check for any fingerprints in her apartment, nor did they question neighbours to see if they had seen or heard anything. And I hate to sound discriminatory, but I've always heard that the concerns of foreigners are far, far down on the list of their priorities here. They'll probably never catch this freak, even if they were to bother looking for him. Fucking useless bastards.

Again, I feel so helpless and it makes me mad. I just want Katie to be safe and to be happy again, and I don't know how to help. She's homeless in the meantime and staying with church friends until she gets a new apartment. But I know that this traumatic experience is going to be hard for her, as it would for anyone, and that she will probably be very scared for a long time. Poor Katie. What a horrible, terrifying experience to go through. It's like a horror movie come to life. I'm just thankful that things didn't go...worse....than what they did. The outcome of this story could have had an even more tragic ending, and I'm so glad that we still have Katie with us.

Day 288: Webcams & Ouija Boards

Nick and Angele hosted a Cranium Party tonight of their, and it was a lot of fun. It was Saturday and none of us felt like going out to the bar so a Game Night in with a bunch of friends and a few bottles of wine seemed like a truly fantastic idea. Michael and I went over to hang with Nick and Angele as well as Meghann, Chris, and Kim who were all at Angele's birthday party last weekend.

Cranium was a lot of fun and we had some great tunes going on too. Later on, around 2am or so, I went on their computer and decided to check into Messenger for a minute. Well my good friend Cindy in Thunder Bay was online and since Nick and Angele have a webcam, I decided to chat with her on there for a bit. I don't have a webcam of my own and really wish I did cause they're so cool! It was awesome to be able to SEE my friend as I was talking to her and it just made the connection seem so much more...human. It actually didn't seem like she was thousands and thousands of kilometres away, on the far side of the globe. We were able to make silly faces, give virtual hugs and kisses, and I even showed off some Korean laundry detergent to her (I wanted to show her something Korean to prove that I wasn't in an English-speaking country!) It was great fun! I really do need to get a webcam for my home computer!

Later on during the party we decided to break out the Ouija Board, for reasons that I cannot even remember. Actually Nick and Angele don't own one so we MADE one using cardboard, a marker, and a strange triangular-shaped rock from a Korean island. Say what you will about Ouija Boards, I'm a skeptic myself, but there's some things in life that just can't always be clearly understood or easily explained. The eerie actions that I've seen a Ouija Board do in the past definitely falls into that Strange category, and tonight was no exception. That rock was *flying* back and forth across that board, and all of us SWORE that we weren't pushing the damn thing. It wasn't spelling anything sensical, but the movement and specific direction of that rock was startling to say the least. We tried asking numerous spirits several questions, but couldn't get any actual answers out of the board - just a lot of fast and intense movement via the rock. It was actually starting to freak us out a little so we had to stop.

And NO I was not drunk! I was actually completely sober and so this wasn't some alcohol-induced delerium or anything like that. I'm skeptical but at the same time desperately curious about the supernatural. I've lived in two haunted houses in my life but have had little contact with the Unknown. Part of me really wants to know more, and part of me thinks that maybe ignorance is bliss. Are some things in life (and death?) just not meant for us humans to know? Are some rocks just best left unturned and undisturbed?

Day 287: The Dirty Teacher

According to my Parrots I'm a very dirty teacher. "Dirty" is the word my preschoolers use to describe how much facial hair I happen to have that day. I don't have very much and usually only shave once every four or sometimes even five days. I've never been able to grow a full beard, but admit that by Day Five I am looking pretty scruffy. Now I don't have a lot of facial hair compared to the average North American adult male, but compared to the average Korean male, I'm a hairy beast! LOL

My kids have taken a fascination with this and so everyday when I come into class they let me know how "dirty" I am that morning. It ranges from "Teacher very dirty today!" to "Today teacher no dirty", based on how many days it's been since I've shaved. They then all point at my face and laugh chanting "Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!" A few of them then come up to touch my face but most of them are too scared to. The ones that are brave enough touch my chin or lower cheeks, and then immediately SQUEAL very loudly and run away shrieking.

They think this is the greatest thing ever and I must admit that I get a kick out of it too. Awwww, my kids are so gosh darn cute! :-) I should like not shave for two weeks or something just to see what they say to me. Haha!