Day 252: Wanna Be Shazamed?

So I have a special exclusive invitation that's just for you baby. And only you. (Well, you and everyone else who reads this blog, however many that may be...)

I have four, count 'em FOUR (4), extra invites to Gmail that has your lucky name on it. And all you have to do is ask (and tell me I'm cute, or that you love my blog, or something else nice that you know I'll wanna hear...haha!)

Now why would I want to join Gmail, you ask? Let me tell you! Well, for starters, Gmail kicks major ass! It beats the pants off of any other free email service out there that I know of, that's for sure! (*especially hotmail who is infinitely evil and malicious - stay away from those greedy Microsoft bitches at all costs!)

Whoever said bigger is not better was clearly clueless (on a lot of things, actually...) because in this case it like so totally is (note to self: must stop the Valley Girlisms that seep/pour their way into my blog). With Gmail you get 1000 mb of storage!!! SHAZAM! Holy shit that's a lot of space! To put it into perspective, Yahoo only gives you 250 mb as does Hotmail (which up until a week ago only gave you a measely cheap-ass 2 mb of space!) To go from having 2mb to 1000mb of email storage is like moving out of a Korean apartment and then suddenly having all of Siberia as your bedroom (only less ice and snow and scary Russians.) Wow, so much space!

With that much space you literally never, ever have to delete an email again. Gmail is actually designed around this concept. Instead everything is simply 'archived' and stored conveniently out of sight until you wish for its presence to return. Then it's just a matter of doing a quick 'search' within your email account and it pops right back up again on screen. SHAZAM! How easy and fun is that?

All emails are stored as 'conversations', meaning that you are able to see an email's entire message history (yours *and* their's) at your leisure. It certainly helps you to keep track of information and what you wrote in earlier messages. However, unlike other email providers (ie: SuperEvil MicrosoftMofos) you don't have to scroll through all that conversation to read it. It's stored neatly on little tabs that are just a click away. With just the click of one button SHAZAM! you suddenly have access to everything you've ever said to a person (and what they've said to you!)

And if you thought it couldn't get any better, Gmail is not only free, but is pop-up and spam-mail free. All advertising is placed on the side out of the way, is tailored specifically to your interests, and promises that you will NEVER ever receive a piece of junk mail again! As much as I adored receiving 276 emails a day via Hedonistic Hotmail regarding how to make my cock bigger, where I can get cheaper prescription drugs or fake university degrees, or watching curious teen girls get it on with curious teen farm animals SHAZAM! (whoops, wrong place for a Shazam!), I don't think I'll miss getting any more junk mail!

And your account is never cancelled or deleted if you don't check your email within a certain ridiculous time frame (ahem, hotmail's a scum-sucking baby-eating bastard) which is great if you can't check email all the time, or know you'll be away from your account for an extended period of time.

Have I sold you on it yet?

So if you're interested, just write The Man (ie: me) a little message and all of this magic can be yours too. Do you wanna be SHAZAM!ed? :-)