The Wonders & Terror of Christmas

Ahhh yes… Christmas is upon us already. You know what that means: holiday decorations and brightly-lit Christmas trees, frenzied shopping to find that elusive perfect present, and adults dressed up as devils threatening to take misbehaving small children to hell.

Yep, it’s the holiday season here in the Czech Republic! ;-)

November flew by in a flash and before I knew it I was plunged into Full Christmas Glory. And WOW what a glory it is here in Prague. When the Czechs do Christmas, they sure don’t hold back. It seemed that almost overnight the Czech capital was transformed into this glowing, glittering Christmas Wonderland. Every street has been dressed up with lights and decorations. Holly and ribbons are everywhere. No streetlamp has been left un-Christmasfied. Whole streets are decked from head-to-toe in long intricate interconnected strings of sparkling white lights. And massive Christmas trees are the centrepiece of every city square. Prague is gorgeous on a regular day, but now it looks like a cross between Disneyland, The North Pole, and a massive department store after a holiday-obsessed interior decorator has ‘gone wild’ and been left to run amok. It’s very pretty, but very much like Christmas On Steroids. You better be in the holiday spirit, cause if not it’s gonna be shoved down your throat anyway!

But, luckily for me, I adore Christmas, and have allowed myself to be swept up in all the holiday hype. Sure the squares may be insanely crowded with shoppers, but there’s something magical about standing at the foot of Winceslas Square, surrounded by two dozen stalls in the Christmas market, and just pausing a moment to take in all the sights and smells. Mulled wine, roasting chestnuts, fresh and warm sweet doughy rolls. Shoppers’ arms laden with presents. Children giddy over the huha of it all (and high on a sugar rush.) A medley of holiday tunes pouring out of every shop. And the glittering dome of the National Museum looking out over it all. Even the scroogiest of Scrooges would have to admit that it’s a pretty sight.

Old Town Square is even more beautiful, with the largest Christmas tree that I have ever seen in my life towering over its own market, and they even have a petting zoo and live theatre for the kids. There’s something about the click clack of horse hooves and carriages on cobblestones, and enormous gothic cathedrals lit up all aglow, that make one feel even more in the spirit. Now, if only there was some snow to give it a white dusting…

The Czechs have some interesting Christmas traditions that are quite different from Canada’s. December 24th is their big day, and also when they have the traditional holiday meal of carp, fish soup, and potato salad. Not quite the turkey-mashed potato-stuffing-candied yams-cranberries-pumpkin and apple pie combo that I’m used to, but it sounds….maybe yummy? Lol

And presents are not brought by Santa Claus and reindeer overnight on Christmas Eve, but rather delivered to each living room by Baby Jesus himself. Don’t ask me how he gets around (flying crib? Levitating diapers? A jet-like manger?) but sometime during dinner he shows up (unseen of course) and after the meal the family gathers and opens up all their presents then.

And then, my favourite Czech Christmas tradition of all, actually takes place on December 5th. This day is called Mikolaus Day, which roughly translates to St. Nicholas Day. They don’t have Santa, but they do have St. Nick, only he comes a bit earlier…and he doesn’t travel alone…

So get this… On the 5th he comes into town to deliver sweets and small presents to kids, but he’s brought two buddies with him. The first is an angel, who asks the children if they’ve been good, and rewards them with a candy if they can recite a poem or sing a song for her. And the second of Mikolaus’ small entourage is the devil himself, interrogating and frightening the children, warning them that if they’ve been bad he’s gonna take them to hell.

Wow! Back when I was a kid the worst that we could expect if we were bad was either no presents at all, or at the very absolute worst a piece of coal in our stockings. Apparently the possibility of finding non-renewable fossil fuels in your holiday stocking is not enough for the Czechs, and they take this ‘good behaviour through bribes and coercion’ a little more seriously! Nothing quite like the threat of a one-way trip to hell to encourage your four-year old to go to bed on time or eat all their veggies at dinner time! ;-)

But the thing is, it’s not just a story that you tell the kids, oh no, they actually dress up and act it out! So, on December 5th, all over town, you can see Mikolaus/angel/devil trios running around chasing/enticing/rewarding/scaring children. Parents will have family friends dress up to play the parts and come and visit the house. And if their kids have been especially bad that year, they’ll provide the devil (in advance) with a list of all their little crimes committed during the year, just to let the kids know that the devil really is watching, and knows what you’re up to all year long! Hilarious!

Learning about new customs and traditions is one of the great joys of living in a foreign country, and the Czech Christmas traditions have been no exception! Not sure what I can expect for Easter (a rabid Easter Bunny who offers either chocolates or a lifetime of rage-induced foaming-at-the-mouth fits, depending on how well-behaved the kids have been?) but I can’t wait to find out! ;-)