Day 403: Projectile

So there we were in gym class today, me and the 12 Parrots, just having a gay old time hoppin' along. We had just finished Hopping Races and were now engaged in their most favourite of all games - What Time Is It Mr. Wolf? (or affectionately known as just "Wolf Game" by my kids) I was standing against one wall and the kids were about three quarters of the way across the gym when all of a sudden, absolutely without warning, completely from nowhere, totally unexpectedly...

...Roy threw up!

And I'm not just talking your basic five-year old blowing chunks deal. I'm talking about full-fledged, all-out, hard-core, just givin' 'er, aiming for a gold in the Puking Olympics, PROJECTILE VOMIT. I've never seen projectile vomit before, at least never like this.

Honestly, it literally *rocketed* out of his mouth, nearly breaking the speed of sound barrier, and spewed *at least* seven feet across the room. The vomit's hues were a unique combination of daffodil yellow, mandarin orange, and fresh lawn-cuttings green and didn't just come out in one stream, but was rather like a high-powered backyard sprinkler - aimed in one direction but broken up into several distinct individual spurts. Like a trail of wreckage left behind by a crashing jetliner plowing through an Iowa corn field, it lay spread across the gym mats and even a little on the wall. Mere inches from where I was standing (phew, that was a close call!)

And all of this from a boy who's so small that when standing doesn't even reach half way up my thigh. I really don't understand the practical physics of how that is even possible!

I just about lost it and almost began tossin' my own cookies. It was all I had to usher him *quickly* to the bathroom and not ralph myself all over the hall. THANK GOD (for me) it's the Korean teachers who handle this sorta stuff so I ran to get Sonya and she had the lovely duty of clean-up duty. Apparently she almost threw up herself while cleaning up Roy's saucy post-curry-lunch concoction. Poor girl.

And that was the end of Tuesday's gym class. Just like that.