Day 283: The Burberry Plague

There is a great and horrific plague that has infested Korea. It has spread and bred to every corner, and is of historic epidemic proportions. It has such a transfixing grip on the nation that those afflicted with this incurable (?) disease are not even conscious of their ill-laden status. It is everywhere and it is sad and I have no escape.

It is The Burberry Plague.

For those of you who are lucky enough to have been spared from the horror that is Burberry, consider yourself fortunate and truly blessed. Burberry is a brand and specific style of "fashion" (I'm grimacing in pain while having to use that word in this context) that the Koreans love. It is actually just one style of pattern, of stripes, typically with the colours of brown, white, black, and red. Oh it may seem harmless and innocent on the surface, but beware of its calm and misleading surface. It is a malignant force that needs to be halted in its tracks and destroyed. Wiped clean off this planet. Banished from our universe.

The Koreans do not just *love* Burberry, they frickin' worship it! It's everywhere! EVERYWHERE! Shirts, skirts, dresses, blouses, jackets, ties, hats, scarves, purses, bags, backpacks, wallets, shoes, suitcases, every conceivable fashion accessory that you can imagine, it can come in Burberry. And the Koreans are obsessed with it! It's ubiquitious across this nation from top to bottom! You can't walk down the street without being choked and suffocated by it. It's fuckin' ugly and I want it gone!

Now I didn't always harbour such vile disgust for Burberry, in fact I was completely ambivalent of its existence prior to coming to Korea. But now when you just can't get away from it, when whether you're on the subway or shopping in a store or eating in a restaurant and no matter where you turn it fills your vision, when even you're sweet innocent formerly-pure preschool children are covered in it, it makes you want to cry. Enough already!

My eyes are a watery mess of blood and tears. Dear Lord make it stop! PLEASE!