Day 80: Perspective

So Monday has arrived - the first day of the new changes at work. I didn't have to be at work until 1:30pm today as all my morning classes are nonexistent now that the kindergartens are gone. I walked into work and it was so eerie - dead silent and completely lacking in activity and movement. I'm used to arriving at school and hearing the screams and laughter of all the children, and seeing them running around each and every which-way, and always having a couple of them greeting me at the door with a hug. None of that today....

It was such a slack day at work today! No morning classes (as the early AM adult classes were taught by Steven - they better stay that way!) and then this afternoon I found out that 2 of my elementary classes have been merged into one as our kids numbers are so small. So, in the end, I only had 3 classes to teach today (instead of the usual 7!) If there are evening adult classes I haven't heard anything about them yet as I was dismissed at 5:10 today. Man what a short day!!

I'm still playing it cautious at work, and Steven wants to discuss a new timetable regarding all the changes tomorrow I think, but I'm keeping a positive attitude with all of this. I really do believe that it's going to work out and that none of the worst-case scenarios will have to play out. Even if the proverbial shit does hit the metaphorical fan, I know I'll be alright. It's not worth getting all stressed out over! Two things happened on Friday that reminded me about what's really important in life, and have helped me to regain my perspective regarding all of these changes, the first one being small and amusing, the second being quite major and serious.

I was walking back to work from the bank on Friday afternoon, after doing my monthly bank transfer back to Canada (payday did come thru - yah!) and was just walking oh-so casually down the street when I heard this 'plop' and looked down at my shoes.... On my left toes, spread all across my nice black dress shoes, was a big pile of white oozing gooey bird shit, freshly fallen on my helpless footwear. At first I was pissed off about this as it was disgusting and I'd have to clean off my shoe when I got back to work, but then I realized that it could have been much worse... Had I been only one second faster in my travels back from the bank that bird shit would've landed on my head or shoulders instead - MUCH WORSE THAN LANDING ON MY SHOE!!! The lesson I learned from this is that even though I had had another crappy week at work and have been all stressed out lately, things can *ALWAYS* get shittier!! (literally and figurately, so be thankful they aren't!)

The second change to my perspective occurred Friday night. I was online on Messenger (the only thing that works on my computer these days, and even then it's hit and miss...) and my friend Jason who lives in Seattle came online.
I was talking to him and he had some really horrible, sad news to tell me. The Sunday before his father had had a heart attack, and was in the hospital in a coma because of it. Apparently his brain had been without oxygen for nearly 10 minutes (3 minutes without oxygen is enough to cause serious brain damage) and the doctors were fairly certain that even if he ever did regain consciousness, his father would probably be a vegetable, at best. Jason, by some prior agreement, had been placed with the responsibility of deciding when and if the doctors should take his father off of life support.

After waiting nearly a week and seeing no sign of recovery, Jason told me that this coming weekend (the one that just passed) he was probably going to decide to take his father off of life support. Each passing day meant less and less hope, and what kind of life would his father lead even if he did ever come out of the coma? I don't even know Jason very well but this made me feel terribly sad. I can't imagine being in a position like that, having to decide the fate of my father's life (or anyone close to me, for that matter.) To bear that weight would be so much - I don't think I'd have the strength to decide to 'pull the plug' on a loved one, even knowing that it's for the best. That decision would haunt me for the rest of my life. I really feel for Jason, and have no idea what he's decided to do as I haven't spoken to him since Friday night. I wish him and his family all the best and will hope for strength and peace for them.

This event really brought things into focus for me. Even if my job does turn shitty, it's not all that bad in the big picture of life. Having crappy hours at work is nothing in comparison to having to decide to take my father off of life support. Perspective really is *everything* in life. One could make such drama and stress from the smallest of things but that's no way to live. At the end of the day I still have my health, have my family and friends alive and happy and healthy, and still have more opportunities and choices in life than I'll ever know what to do with.

A reality check is a good thing, methinks.