Grand Vienna

Rok & Scotty hanging out in Vienna.



As much as I would have truly, deeply, thoroughly enjoyed journeying to some random local Czech village to participate in the greatest of all holiday traditions ever, I had plans of my own. They sadly didn't involve any spanking, but they did involve a lot of gorgeous architecture, copious amounts of glorious sunshine in parks and gardens, and some pretty cute company.

I had a four-day weekend for Easter, and so I travelled down to Vienna to meet my good friend Rok who hails from Slovenia. Besides getting to enjoy some Western comforts that I've been without for a long time (a real hotel room, sushi, and STARBUCKS,) I got to explore a lot of the Austrian capital in a short amount of time.

Vienna has got to be one of the prettiest cities in Europe, as she certainly is a grand ol' dame. Vienna is a very obviously wealthy city, and from first sight one can tell that it always has been a wealthy city. (But hey I guess that's what being the centre of a huge empire that sucked in all the money and pretty stuff from all corners of Central Europe will do to a city!)

Everything is rich and grand and opulent and designed specifically to impress to the max. From top to bottom the city is ornate and ginormous - grand boulevards, massive palaces and royal living spaces, lush gardens and clean streets, more Luxenbourg-size museums than you can count, and fabulous restaurants and cafes everywhere. There's a lot of "oh wow's" happening when you explore the city, and despite it's size at more than a million and a half the city feels calm, relaxed, and manageable. In fact, maybe a little too calm, relaxed, and manageable.

Although I did really enjoy Vienna, I have to say that it was rather sleepy for a major European capital. This is especially true when the sun goes down. If Vienna has any nightlife to speak of, Rok and I were unable to find it. The one night we did attempt to 'go out on the town' was met with a meager selection of less-than-inviting pubs, all of which seemed to lack any real atmosphere or party-vibe. Where do all the young people hang out in this city?

And as impressive as all the palaces and museums are, one can only see so many of each before they start to crave something else. You can't do all palace/all museum/all day/everyday without experiencing some "Big Opulent Building Fatigue". Vienna's fine for a couple of days, but after that you start to feel a bit bored. And I definitely wouldn't want to live here. Unless I was 65 and retired or something, but even then...

Unlike Prague or Berlin, Vienna just seems to be lacking that energetic vibe that one feels when you're in a major city. As Rok put it, you can feel that the city has already peaked (in it's capital of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire days) and has since declined. It's still an important city, but it ain't what it used to be. As mentioned above, Vienna is a city was specifically designed to look grandiose and impressive. It was well-planned with a purpose in mind. In comparison, Prague feels much more 'organic', it's a beautiful city that just sorta 'happened' along the way. It grew in a more natural way and although it's also full of some impressive monuments itself, it doesn't have the 'mega royal capital' feel that Vienna does. I prefer Prague's style instead - it's gorgeous without ever having really tried to be so.

That being said, Vienna is consistently ranked in the top five for World's Most Livable Cities lists, (guess who's number one - Vancouver of course!) and does offer a very high quality of life for its residents. Still, having a high quality of life perhaps equals to one that's a bit boring...? (Well, in Vienna's case anyway, certainly not in Vancouver!) Something else that is interesting about Vienna is that it's one of the only major European cities that is actually not growing. So stable is its population that it's barely changed at all since the 1950's. Quite unusual from an urban planning/demographic point of view.

Rok and I were blessed with some really bright warm weather the whole weekend, which worked out well for all the gardens and parks we saw. You can see in the pictures below how nice and blue the skies were! We ate really good food, and enjoyed a whole lot of fantastic coffee (both Starbucks, and in the traditional Viennese cafes as well.) Once again it was a little bit excrutiating being in the EuroZone, where the price of a coffee is equivalent to the GDP of say, Malawi or something, but luckily it was just a short trip.

All in all, I thought Vienna was a bit sleepy but very beautiful, and one definitely worth visiting. Don't stay too long though, and don't plan on rockin' out partying everynight, doing lines of coke off the backsides of cheap hookers in run-down back-alley bars, if that's your thing. (You've got Amsterdam for that!) ;-) I've a whole whack of photos of the pretty Austrian capital below. Check 'em out!

One of the palaces used by the Hapsburgs.

Horse & Carriage Ride = Guaranteed Tourist Trap!

Big and beautiful.

Glorious!

St. Stephen's Cathedral in the heart of Vienna.

Check out the cathedral's cool roof!

I like the contrast here of the new with the old.

Some statue I found tucked into a quiet corner behind a church.

The odd and unusual Kunsthaus - a block of apartments redone by a creative architect.

Not sure if I'd like to live here, but the colours are pretty anyway!

He also liked to use chess board-like pieces as supports for this buildings and balconies.

Rok in front of the Kunsthistorisches Museum

Me in front of it's exact twin - the Natural History Museum.

The funky-looking Modern Art Museum inside of the Museumquartier.

In one of the tunnels out of the u-bahn (subway) they had all these cool digital counters racking up the numbers for various stats. Here's the current world population - it was a bit scary to watch it grow by one every second....

And here's the amount of people in Vienna who are in love (supposedly!) This number kept jumping up and down as people fell in (and out of ) love...

Some interesting street graffiti outside the u-bahn. Rok and I crossed the line in eager anticipation, yet both felt the same. Hmmm....

Vienna at night is a real treat for the eyes, as all the major monuments are brightly lit up.

Rok outside the Scholl Schunbrunn.

Wow this Schunbrunn is one huge palace!!

And with Versailles-like beautiful gardens in the back too!

Rok takes a (brief) moment on the grass to enjoy the view of the palace ground and city skyline.

Scotty with the palace behind.

Our moment of peace was soon shattered as The Grass Nazi came around to shoo the 200 or so people resting on the grass. He shouted angrily and waved his little sign around in fury. Man, talk about a party-pooper!

The gorgeous Belvedere - once a palace and now a massive art museum with some world-famous pieces, including Klimt's Judith, and The Kiss.

Wow! Check out that skyline! (or lackthereof?)

A coffee and cheesecake at a traditional Viennese cafe. Mmmm....

Happy Easter! Rok and I are given Easter eggs at the cafe.

Pretty daffodils in a city park.

Rok looking cute as a button in a park.

Better Than Chocolate

Oh you gotta love those wacky Czech holiday traditions. They're fantastic! Devoted readers of the blog will remember me recounting the winter holiday season tale of Miklaus, the Santa-esque bearded man who travels to Prague with angel and devil in tow to delight/frighten/reward children. It was an interesting twist on a familiar holiday month, and one I greatly enjoyed observing.

Well there's a new holiday in town now, and he's even more hilarious than his December cousin - Easter!

The Czechs have gotta have the best holiday traditions ever, anywhere. Easter here is as much fun for the adults, if not more, than for the children. There's no Easter bunny to be spoken of (although chocolate Easter bunnies are sold in all of the metro stations) but once you hear of how Easter is celebrated you won't even miss the chocolate.

On Easter Monday it is tradition for all the boys in the village or town to gather up willow tree branches and fasten them into a whip. (Yes, you know where this is heading, let your imagination run wild now...) I imagine these whips are assembled perhaps a few days prior to the Monday, but I've been told that "seven or eight" branches are enough to make the best whip. Something thin yet firm, flexible yet with a real good *snap* in it. Along rivers is also apparently the best place to find these nubile willows. It's then fashionable to fasten a few pieces of torn colourful cloth to the end of this whip. Something to add a little pizazz, a little flair, a little 'chante chante' if you will, and make sure you tie that cloth on firmly as that whip's about to have a real busy day...


Oh yes, that whip will be busy indeed. Oh baby...

On Easter Monday morning the boys and men of the village go around and knock on each and every household door in town. If a man answers the door, then they demand to see the women of the house. These women must be presented, and when they are, they are spanked promptly and firmly, with zest and vigor, on their ripe rosy bottoms. Yes, you read correctly, they are SPANKED! SCORE!!!

And the best part of the deal is that not only can the women not refuse their annual beating, but rather than protest or resist or fight back, the women reward their spankers! For the children it's usually in the form of chocolate, but sweets won't do for the big boys, so instead they're given shots of alcohol. Yes, that's right, the women get spanked and then give the men a present! DOUBLE SCORE!!!

It's no surprise then, that after a few households (and a few shots,) the spankers become even more enthusiastic, and by the midday the men of the village are all completely drunk (and the children are running loops up the wall with all the sugar they've consumed.) Yes, it's great fun had by all. BY ALL.

Now there are a few variations of this tradition. In some places, the women are allowed to fight back after 12 noon, arming themselves most often with a bucket of cold water. So let me get this straight, in one single day one can enjoy chocolate, spanking, non-stop shots, and continuous water fights? Now *this* sounds like a party! Why aren't I Czech? Where can I sign up?

Back in the olden days the men had only basic whips, and if the woman they've just spanked fancies them, she'd rip a piece of her dress off and give it to the man, who'd then tie it to the end of his whip. The guy at the end of the day with the most strips on his whip would be like the Town Stud or something, and would have his pick of the ladies. And by then he'd be drunk and all the women would be randy from their festive beating so I imagine then it was really, indeed, good times had by all. DAMN.

This tradition still continues today, but sadly only in the smaller town and villages. In the bigger cities, and definitely in Prague, this is something you would not see. *sigh* My students warned me several times not to attempt to spank any random women on the streets of Prague, or I could be met with a slap/bigger beating/police involvement/deportation. *double sigh*

Now I don't know is this little Easter tradition takes place in any of the neighbouring Central European countries, but you have to admit that this is quite possibly the greatest holiday tradition in the history of mankind! (Right boys?) ;-)

Chip Chip Cheerio!

My school pretty much shuts down for the summer, and since I can't afford to not work, I've been looking for a summer job over the last few months. And now I've found one - in England!

Yes, Scotty will be off to Great Britain for 8 weeks this summer to teach at a summer camp!

My good buddy here in Prague Laurie told me about the job, and I have to thank her for recommending me to the school. Laurie's worked at the school for three summers now, and likes it so much she's returning for a fourth. The school is called TASIS - The American School In Switzerland - and I'll be working at their England campus in Thorpe, Surrey, about an hour or so southwest of London. Right on!

And it sounds like such a great job!

The school caters to international students, and they're mostly in the 13-18 age range. I've never really taught teenagers before, so this will definitely be a new experience for me. It sounds like such a great program and that it will be a lot of fun. The kids have English lessons in the morning until lunch time and then have sports and games in the afternoon. I've been hired as one of the ESL Teachers so I'll have my own class all morning long, and will help out with some of the afternoon activities. Evenings are spent either playing games/contests/trivia shows/school dances, or travelling to the nearby mall or cinema with the kids.

And every weekend we get to chaperone the kids on field trips around London! The British Museum, London Eye, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, London Aquarium and many more big sites are all a part of our weekend agendas. We also take the kids to a theatre performance in the city each weekend too! Wow!

And then there's the bigger field trips! Four times per summer a few select teachers will accompany the kids on bigger 3/4-day trips. This year's destinations supposedly are Oxford/Cambridge, Brighton, Wales, and PARIS! You can bet that I'll be working my charm to the max to get in on that Paris Trip!! How cool would that be!?

On top of all this, the school gives me free accomodation and food, pays for my plane ticket there and back, and gives me a rather healthy salary as well. What a sweet job! I'm really looking forward to the experience. It'll help round out my teaching skills, I'll get to meet staff and students from all over, see a bit of England, and earn good money while doing it. Pity it's only for 8 weeks! I know it'll be a lot of work and I won't have much free time at all, but it'll be a great summer adventure for sure! The job starts in mid-June and finishes in mid-August, leaving me with a few weeks break before the school year begins in Prague again in early September. Hmmm...where should I go then?

So bye-bye Prague for the summer, and Chip Chip Cheerio to England!

The Attack Of The Ailo

Ailo - everyone's favourite ginger-haired Irish travel-photographer! Here she is in action! "Sshhhh....don't disturb the master while she works!" ;-)


In late March I was blessed with the glorious visit of a good old friend of mine - Ailo! For those of you h-core dedicated readers of the blog, you'll remember Ailo as the feisty but friendly Irish vixen who befriended me waaaaay back in the days of my crap teaching job in Shihung, Korea! Ailo and I became good friends during our stay in Korea and the last time I saw her was December 2005 when I breezed through Korea on my way back to Korea. Wow, talk about a blast from the past!

Ailo lives in Ireland now and decided that a visit to Prague - and to see her ol' pal Scotty - was in due order. On a break from completing her Masters in Urban Planning, (just Reason #842 why Ailo Is Awesome,) she stayed with me for a week and we had an absolute blast. We hit up all the usual tourist sites, had many fab dinners and drinks out on the town, and had one helluva Legendary Night at Lucerna - the ultimate 80's bar if there ever was one!

If any of you love 80's music, then you'll love Lucerna. Picture a massive nightclub that plays nothin' but 80's (well, and a few select 70's and 90's hits) all night long, and not only that, but plays the VIDEO for each and every song on a giant screen above the huge dancefloor. It's non-stop 80's fromage all night long! And everyone there is only out to have a good time and dance their butts off. If you're like me and bored to tears of most of the music they play in clubs these days, you'll cry for joy when you discover Lucerna! I've only ever been twice but both nights have been truly amazing. Man, I get excited just thinking about it!

At the same time, Oscar had two friends visiting as well, so we joined forces and emerged with The Coolest Gang in town. Spanish Igor and French Pierrique were two really nice fun guys (and MAN can Pierrique ever cook up a delicious meal of French cheese puffs and Thai curry!) and all of us had such a great time hanging out all over the city. It was sad to see the boys leave after just a few days, and even more sad when My Ailo had to leave the day before!

Having guests in town is always a great way to add some life and energy to one's normal day-to-day routine. It's fun to 'Play Tourist', you get to catch up with old friends, and you see your city in a new fresh way all over again. Ailish also marks the beginning of a wave of friends coming to see me. Jo's coming from London in mid-April, Rok from Ljubljana at the end of April, Benny & Eric in late May, and my parents sometime in late May or early June! Wow, what a busy spring! For those of you others also interested in coming to stay at Scotty's Prague Bed, Breakfast & Tour Guide Services, you better make your reservation now! ;-)


I know I seem to keep putting up the same panoramic views of Prague every few months or so, but the view is so beautiful I just can't resist!

All the lovely red roofs...

The Vlatva, with its many bridges, and Prague Castle up on the hill, as seen from Vysehrad.

No free parking spaces here!


Old Town Clock Tower looms up above the labrynth that is Old Town.



Laurie & Oscar get cozy over a beer at Radost.

Marco & Johana come out to join my friends for a few drinks.

Former future-roomies Scotty & Al hanging out.

Ailo loves to take photos, but *hates* having hers taken. "GOTCHA, babe!" :-)
Christina, looking especially gorgeous here, and Yours Truly.




It's Lucerna Night! Not entirely unplanned, the four of us all decided to wear Western-style checkered shirts. Here us boys are looking hot and ready for action. Who wants to ride a cowboy? ;-)

The Instructions: "Look Sexy". The Result: I'm still trying to figure this one out...

Yes, it also seems that Scotty's blog is full of photos of himself making silly faces while drunk. (You can call me repetitive, but hey at least I'm not boring! LOL)

Our goal here was to "Look Scared." I love Christina's biting-of-her-bottom-lip action!

Scotty & Ailo cuddle up for a rare willing photo from my Irish Princess.



The Checkered Team! Let's go out and hit Lucerna, kids!

Hanging out at Oscar's after Pierrique's amazing dinner. Igor's on the left and P's on the right.

Igor, Scotty, and Pierrique pose for the camera.