The Journey From Hell

What? What's this? A brand new blog post??? Holy fuck!

No, you're not hallucinating. This is indeed a brand spanking new blog post. I know that I suddenly stopped writing mid-way through the summer, and do need to finish up the last two months of The S2H World Tour: Eurostyle, but for now it's just the one post. I just had a pretty crazy travel adventure and I *know* that you're gonna enjoy hearing about this.

So as you may or may not already know, I decided to go down to Chicago for New Year's Eve this year. One of my best buds, Michael, lives there and I was in need of a holiday. I've never ever been to the Windy City and was really looking forward to some time in the big city. The funny thing about Chicago is that it's not actually all that far from Thunder Bay. It's only an 11-hour drive, and this isn't so bad if you compare it with, say, driving to Toronto (18 hours plus.) But for whatever reason it's totally off the radar here in Thunder Bay. No one ever thinks of driving down there, which is too bad cause it really is a fantastic city.

So I totally encourage you to go visit there one day, but if you do drive there, I really hope you don't have an experience similar to mine...

The day started off on a bad foot. I woke up at 7am after a really restless sleep and felt like shit. My head hurt and my stomach was in knots. And then shortly after my shower I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Coop, eww! What should have been taken as a SERIOUS OMEN was passed off as a temporary upset tummy.

Ooooh how I wish it had been temporary...

You know how you feel like shit and then you throw up and then suddenly you feel like a million bucks, like you could go climb a mountain or run a marathon or something? Well maybe not exactly mountains or marathons, but I did feel *a lot* better after emptying my stomach, and was convinced I was ready for the 11-hour solo drive down.

Oh how wrong I was!!!

I grabbed a scone and caramel macchiato from Starbucks for the journey to the border, and when I left Thunder Bay it was just after 9am. I wasn't feeling super, but honestly felt okay enough to drive. Less than an hour later I had crossed into Minnesota and all was going...okay. My stomach was totally in a cranky mood but I was being good to it by not drinking my coffee and switching to water. Surely I had him under control. I mean willpower's strong enough to control any bodily action, right?

Well my tempermental tummy had other things in mind. 3.5 hours later I rolled into Duluth and was feeling pretty light-headed. My stomach was nearly empty and I felt weak and hungry, but was so not feeling like food going IN was a good idea. I pulled into a McDonald's in Superior, Wisconsin and decided to get a snack to help make me feel better.

Now before your jump down my throat (I can hear you already: "MCDONALDS'S!!!?? SCOTTY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!) it wasn't like I went in and ordered 8 Big Macs or anything. I ordered more water, the fruit platter, and some chicken and fries for supper later on in case I did feel like eating more. I ate the fruit platter, had a drink of water, and was already feeling like I was coming back to life. I was sitting in my car, still in the parking lot, when suddenly my stomach decided that at that very moment it absolutely necessary to empty out its entire contents. Like no warning at all. I was just sitting there enjoying my apples and Dasani when suddenly it was SHAZAM! Vomit Time. So what's a boy to do?

I opened the car door, leaned out, and retched for the longest time. It all came back up. Dasani, apples and grapes, white chocolate blueberry scone, and a little caramel macchiato. This was so not a glamourous moment. Fortunately for me there was no one within view so my stomach's efforts at decorating the parking lot organically was my secret to keep. Phew. Well time to get back on the road...

And once again, after this I felt good again. I cranked up the tunes and was soon singing and car dancing through Northern Wisconsin to my melodious music mix. I was making good time at 140 km/hr and honestly felt that was the last of it. Well this is when Mother Nature decided to throw her cards into the mix. The grey skies decided to unload their celestial storage of snow and throw it all at me and my Camry. The roads soon became very slushy and slippery and traffic had slowed to deal with the crap weather. A bit of a delay, but hey I'm a Northern Boy, I've driven in winter conditions for years and years, I'm responsible, I'm cool, I can handle it, right?

Well I was at a big interchange changing from one freeway to another, and was going down a sharply curved onramp when suddenly I lost control of the car. Gravity and ice took over, and seconds later I spun out and slammed into a snowbank - and one of the onramp's reflector poles driven deep into the ground. Snap crackle crunch, Kellogg's Crashed Camry.

I couldn't see any damage while I was still in the car and knew it was relatively minor, but still I had heard broken glass and new that my front headlight was not in a good condition. But, much more urgently, I instantly recognized the dangers in lying perpendicular across a curved hidden snowy downslope onramp. NOT a good place to be chillin' out. I pulled out of the snow and got back on the freeway.

At the next available exit I got off the interstate and checked out the car. It wasn't pretty, but not nearly as bad as I had originally feared. The orange part of the left headlight was nearly completely severed from the car and was dangling (but still operational) and there was a good size dent behind the light. Oops. Well, nothing I can do about it here, time to move on.

I was feeling pretty shitty at this point. I was pissed at myself for getting in my first car accident ever (well, first that ever caused any noticeable damage...) and my stomach was getting all bitchy again. It was now dark and the weather was getting worse and worse. Blinding snow was being driven across the interstate and it was extremely slippery. Visability was near zero, and it was all I could do to concentrate on the rearlights of the car ahead of me to not veer off the road. All around the freeway chaos ensued. I stopped counting at 20 after seeing over-turned cars and jack-knifed transport trucks. Flashing police lights and cars stuck in the snow became a very common sight. It was absolutely crazy. Snow Armageddon had been unleashed on Wisconsin.

It's at this point that I want to communicate to you my extreme disdain for the state of Wisconsin. Wisconsin SUCKS ASS. Shitty weather aside, it's a really freaking boring state. There's NOTHING of interest to see while driving through it, and it's a never-ending journey. I swear, I'd be driving along, see a sign for Madison saying it was 160 miles away, drive for like 2 hours, and then see another sign saying Madison: 145 miles. WTF??? Was I stuck in some sort of hole in the time-space continuum? Why is Madison like the oasis mirage in the desert? Always in the distance but you can never actually get there. I don't understand it. And the endless hours would be better if there was actually something to look at other than trees and fucking farms. Saskatchewan is flat and boring, but at least it's Scenic Boring. Wisconsin is just Plain Fucking Boring. The entire state could disappear into a void and no one would miss it. Hell no one would even notice! You just drive and drive and drive across it and swear that you'll never get to Madison, much less the Illinois border. Argh!

Well all of the above, in hindsight now, was very tolerable in comparison with what happened next. I'd take a McDonald's parking lot sick spell and a freeway-destroying blizzard any day compared to the next chapter in the story...

I had at this point actually passed Madison and was nearing the Illinois border. Do not underestimate the miraculous feat that this alone is. Passing Madison was like crossing the entire Arabian desert on your hands and knees to reach Mecca, or like Moses parting the sea at his command, or like Britney going out for a night on the town and NOT accidentally(?) flashing the paparazzi her va-j-j. It truly was a Christmas MIRACLE.

I was driving along on the freeway when all of a sudden, yep you guessed it, Mr. Tummy started his antics up again. Ohhhhhh FUCK. I was nowhere near a freeway exit and was driving along at like 100 km/hr and could not stop. IT was coming, and IT was going to be here very, very soon.

My mother, being the thoughtful lady that she is, had supplied me with a few supersized ziploc plastic baggies just in case of a situation like this. I had stuffed them into the door pocket next to me just in case a predicament just like this should come up. I was starting to gag and could feel the beast rising up my throat and was blindly trying to grab one of the plastic baggies, but alas, could not find one. With mere microseconds left before the monster emerged, and not wanting to be sick all over myself, I did the next best thing.

I grabbed the empty McDonald's bag next to me and, just in the nick of time, threw up in that. One wave, however, was not enough, and round after round after round of vomit poured out of me like a dam bursting. I retched and retched and retched but it was all going inside the bag. Seriously, I filled like a quarter of the bag! Where was all of this coming from? I hadn't eaten/drank that much today... And don't forget this is all while still commanding my Camry on I-94 at 100 km/hr in a blinding blizzard! It was a shitty situation, but I felt at least I had it somewhat under control...

Well, that is, until the bottom of the McDonald's bag completely gave out and dumped a Lake Michigan-size pool of vomit All Over Me. In a split second an earth-shattering tsunami of warm, wet, liquidy gooey vomit SPLOOSHED down and covered my entire lap, my lovely green turtleneck from Banana Republic, my winter jacket, the seat, the floor, part of the steering wheel, and not to mention had filled one of my shoes. That's when you realize that wow things really can't get worse. I wanted to scream but all I could muster up was a few "Fuck!"'s. It was the lowest of the lows, and man did life ever suck at that moment.

I pulled off at the next exit and into a gas station parking lot. I sat for a moment, warm and wettened by my own vomit, tried not to gag on the SMELL, and had to take a second to pull myself together. I was completely disgusted with myself. I've never felt GROSSER in my life. I shoulda just shat my pants just for the hell of it. Just for, you know, icing on the cake and all that jazz. But I had enough to deal with, and so I began the clean-up process. I emptied out as much vomit from the car as I could, stripped down (in the blizzard, don't forget) and exchanged the vomity clothes for new clean ones, and tried to wipe down as much of the interior of the car as I could. It took about a half hour and A LOT of papertowel, but I managed to improve the situation, well, marginally, and all the while being discreet as I really didn't want to share my glorious moment with the other gas station patrons. At the end of it I covered the still-wet seat with my Dad's snowpants (sorry Dad!) and got back on the freeway yet again. I mean I was still like 3 hours from Chicago! Throwing up all over yourself in your car sucks, but doing so and then having to keep driving sucks even more!

It really was absolutetly disgusting, but yes I drove my smelly vomity car all the way and made it to Chicago. Michael and I had arranged to park the car at his friend's place in the burbs for the duration of the trip, and when he picked me up all I could do was apologize over and over. I was still sick and gross and smelly and now had a bag of vomity laundry to clean and really was the worst friend ever. Luckily for me Michael is an awesome and understanding guy and was very kind and supportive. I had a shower at his and then crashed for the longest sleep ever. God I was SO HAPPY to be out of that car after having taken FIFTEEN HOURS to get down to Chicago. Longest, shittiest day ever.

The good news is that after a day like that the only way to go from there is up, right? The rest of my trip was fabulous and I had a brilliant time. I got to hang out tons with Michael and his super sweet bf Hyungi, spend New Year's and 2 days catching up with Addie (another old friend from my Korea days) and played tourist for 8 fun-filled days in Chicago. I had quite the long list before coming down but managed to see and do almost everything. I went to the Art Institute, the Field Museum (twice!), the Museum of Contemporary Photography, took in the view at the top of the Sears Tower, had martinis with the boys one night in the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the John Hancock Centre, went and saw some theatre, ate tons of delicious ethnic food, walked around downtown a ton, and did A LOT of shopping. It was pretty damn cold most of the time I was there but I didn't let that slow me down. Chicago's a pretty easy city to navigate and there's SO MUCH to see and do there. Architecture buffs will be in heaven as Chicago is very, very skyscraper-heavy and I spent most of my time there looking up, waaaaay up. We even went out on the town one night for drinks and dancing at nightclubs Roscoe's and Hydrate and it was so awesome to enjoy the big city nightlife.

Chicago is a truly great city - one of America's best, without a doubt, and a destination worth returning again and again. Michael and Hyungi were terrific hosts and made me feel very comfortable there, and hanging out with Mikey and Addie again reminded me that neither time nor distance can diminish true friendships. I love you guys!!!

I drove back home on Sunday the 6th and I'm pleased to say that the journey back was smooth, calm, and drama-free. My stomach was good the whole time and thankfully there wasn't a repeat performance of VomitFest 2007. And yes it really was 11 hours on the way home. Not that bad at all. Very doable, well, provided you're not battling evil stomachs and death-defying blizzards! ;-)

I'll have my Chicago pics up very very soon so be sure to check out those too. Hope you got a laugh from my story. At least now I feel that I can laugh about it too! :-)

Life On The Island

A big shout out to all my peeps around the world, from here on The Island Of TASIS! Well it seems that all of my predictions about being crazy busy have all come true. Three and a half weeks have flown by and indeed I'm a very, very busy boy. Lots to update you on. This post will likely be epic in length, so better grab a coffee and get comfy. Happy reading!

So yes it's true, TASIS does indeed own my ass! My days are so full and so busy from morning til night. There's some days when in the whole of the day I'll have maybe one hour to myself for free time. The rest of the time I'm working my butt off. But I'm in no way complaining as the job is fun and active and always changing.

Here's how a typical day looks for me: I wake up at 7:30am, wake up the boys in my dorm (more on them later), shower and have breakfast, and then spend an hour doing prep for my lessons. I teach 3 50-minute blocks of English each day, to a class of 12 teenagers (also more on them later). I have 2 blocks before lunch and 1 after, and then afternoons are for sport. I "coach" ultimate frisbee with a way-cool French guy named Pierre (he's also my TA in my class) every other afternoon. (I say "coach" as those who know me know that I'm not exactly the sportiest guy around. But it's fun and I'm actually pretty good and I've come to love ultimate frisbee.)

After dinner in the evenings I have to do my lesson-planning for the next day, but I also get to take part in the fun events organized by all the school counsellors. These change every day, but range from board games nights to scavenger hunts to capture the flag to fashion shows and dance-offs and tonight in fact is Haunted TASIS where the campus is being transformed into one giant haunted house! Check-in for the kids is usually around 10:30pm and I gotta make sure my boys are ready for bed, and then by this point it's quite late and I'm exhausted, and I normally fall asleep in about 2 minutes! Phew!

So you can see how each day is almost completely full, but the kids are great (we have 250 kids from 38 different countries - wow, talk about international!) and my coworkers are awesome! We have a lot of fun together and have a really good bond. That's a good thing, as we're all stuck here living on this little island together. I keep saying "island", cause it really is like living on one. All the teachers and students live and work on one campus, so you teach together, play together, live together, eat together, all in one location. It's a bit odd to have your whole universe exist on one 35-acre campus, but luckily we get escape now and then on the weekends.

The weekends are actually the best part of the job, as that's when we do all our field trips. Each week the kids get to choose from like 7-10 different field trips, and us teachers get to choose which trips we'd like to chaperone. My first weekend I chaperoned a trip to the British Museum in London, and that was really cool. We had about 2.5 hours in the museum, which is a truly magnificent place, and then the kids got free time in the afternoon for shopping.

Every Friday night the kids get to pick from 2 theatre trips in the city, and I've been very lucky to have gone on both. The first week actually was a bit strange, as we had the bomb threat in London so our director decided to pull all the kids off that weekend's theatre trips. This worked out in favour of the teachers, as they had already paid for all the tickets, and so half the staff got to go into London and see a show for free. And it was such a fun night! It all came together very last minute, but we raced to get dressed and ready, and then hopped onto a train to Waterloo. We made it into the city and into the Theatre District just in time to catch our performance of The Lion King. And what a spectacular show it was! It was truly beautiful and magical, and even if you're not a Disney fan, I highly recommend it. After the show all of us kinda just meandered back to the station, soaking up the night time festival air of London. London is busy at all hours, and it was so freeing to be out in the city on such a warm night. We walked across this big bridge over the Thames and took a moment to look at all the city lights and skyline all aglow - the London Eye, St. Paul's Cathedral, the egg-shaped Swiss Re Building, and of course Parliament with Big Ben. I had to pinch myself to remember that I'm here and *getting paid* for doing this! Wow!

Last weekend's events were a blast too! I got to go again into London to see a show, and this time it was to see We Will Rock You - the Queen musical. And oh man what a blast that was! Such a fun story, and the music and vocals were incredible. Freddy would be proud! And then on Saturday I got to head-chaperone a trip to Brighton. Brighton is a seaside city on the south coast about an hour and a half from TASIS, and we lucked out with beautiful weather. It was a warm sunny day and it was so wonderful to see the ocean again. I hadn't smelled the salty freshness of the ocean since being in Vancouver in August 2006, and oh how I missed it! Brighton's biggest attraction is Brighton Pier, which is a giant pier extending way way out into the sea, and is full of cheesy arcade games, a small amusement park, and more fish-and-chips restaurants than you can count! Brighton itself is an interesting place - a real mix of touristy tackiness with some real proper history, especially in the maritime form. They also have a big palace there that was done up all 'faux-Asian'. Interesting indeed. Brighton, to me, felt like a combination of Santa Monica, the Poppies Lanes area in Bali, and Stanley (the little seaside village on the backside of Hong Kong Island.) It was a relaxing day, and you can check out the pics from it on my facebook page.

I have had a little bit of free time for myself. Well, at least I did on the first weekend. It was Canada Day weekend, and my good friend Jenn Potts, who lives just up the tracks in Bracknell, was kind enough to host me, and I so I got to escape from the island for a full 24 hours! She picked me up the from the station (literally just 18 minutes west of mine) and we went back to her place where we had pizza dinner with her friends Lisa and Imran. The four of us then got dressed up and took a taxi to Reading, a good-sized city not far from Bracknell. REFLEX was our destination, and oh what a good one it was! REFLEX is a bar that plays ONLY 80's hits, every day! And it was heaven!!! I got to have plenty of drinks (a special pleasure these days as while on campus all alcohol is forbidden for teachers) and we did a lot of dancing. We danced our arses off to all sorts of great cheesy 80's hits, and it was such delicious fromage. The club even has some stages and stripper poles that you can use if you want! We headed home around 1:30am and I got to have a proper lie-in the next morning which felt like paradise.

Being that it was Canada Day, Jenn was hosting a festive BBQ, so I got to enjoy the party as well. There were about 8 people there and we enjoyed a delicious meal out on the patio. Afterwards we went inside to play with Ian (Jenn's boyfriend) Nintendo Wii. It was my first time operating such machinery and it was great fun! It was a nice, relaxing day and it felt so good to be out with adults outside the school environment. In the evening Lisa and Imnran were kind enough to drop me off back at TASIS, and then it was back to island living.

Being that our campus is so international, it's a real interesting mix of students. They range in age from 11 up to 17, and most of them come from very rich families. It's fascinating (and also sad) to hear kids talk about their summer homes in St. Tropez, and their maid services at their palatial homes and such. The class I teach turned out to be different than I had thought it would be, but my kids are really cool.

I am now teaching Level 3 (of 6) and it's the older kids. I've got 12 teenagers, between 14 and 16 years old. There's Annachiara, Dario, and Lorenzo from Italy, Osama and Mosab from Saudi Arabia, Marie and Hadrien from France, Stanislav from Russia, Andres and Melido from Dominican Republic, Pilar from Spain, and Georgy from Georgia. It's taken a bit of getting used to, to teach teenagers as they can get a bit rowdy/restless/un-motivated at times, but my kids always have something interesting to say and definitely keep me on my toes.

And there's my dorm boys, and they rock my world. I only have 7 to look after, and share this responsibility with another teacher, Angel who comes from Greece. In our dorm, "Tudor Wing", we have Tomihiko and Hisatomo from Japan, Fayez and Suliman from Saudi Arabia, Vladimir from Russia, Inaki from Spain, and Marzio from Italy. They're all either 16 or 17 and get along very well. They're actually very well-behaved, and although some get a bit messy at times, are a fun, lively, friendly group who I enjoy chatting with.

A funny story for you about my boys. So they're the second-oldest group on the campus, and they're all kinda jocky/popular macho superstars. Not in a bad way, but they're pretty confident about themselves, and most of them are star players on the school's soccer team as well. Well, we had an interesting bonding moment together the first week in the dorms...

Fayez approached me one night just before check-in, and was really concerned about something in the bathroom, something that was bothering him greatly... He said that earlier that morning he was in the bathroom and saw a big spider on the ceiling, and apparently it was looking at him and he was so freaked about it that he couldn't pee and had to leave the bathroom. I told him that it was likely gone now, and not to worry. He said it was still in there, so together we went into their bathroom to check it out. Well we found the spider, and I have to say DAMN it was pretty big! Hell I wouldn't wanna pee next to that thing either!

At this point the 3 other boys he shares a room with (Tomo, Marzio, and Inaki) had joined us in the spider crusade, and we didn't know what to do about it. All 4 of them were freaked out by the thing, and I sure as hell didn't wanna touch it, so how were we gonna get rid of it? Suddenly Marzio suggested we use "the hoover", and that we could suck it up to get rid of it! Great idea! This turned out to be quite a project, and it took the coordinated efforts of all 4 of them to make it work. They got out the vaccuum, hooked up the longest hose possible (cause in their words, "we need protection!"), and then two of them held the hose as close to the spider as they were willing to get, one held up the vaccuum cause the spider was up high in the corner and the hose wasn't long enough, and the fourth took care of the cord and the turning-on of the vaccuum. On a count of 3 (dictated by me who was directing/guiding this from a safe distance) they turned on the hoover and sucked up the giant spider. They all practically screamed when the spider flew into the hose, and they then insisted that we "leave the hoover on for at least 2 minutes, so the spider doesn't come back out and seek revenge!" It was very hilarious to see 4 of my "macho boys" get all freaked out about the spider.

A week later we had a sequel to this spider-ridding event. I was in my room and could hear this fuss coming from the bathroom, and then I heard the vaccuum come on. I went in to check it out, and found the four of them at it again, this time with the hose and half the vaccuum outside the window! Wondering what was going on now, they explained that they had found more spiders, and not only that, had discovered their source. Apparently outside the bathroom window was "a lot of spider houses!" (they didn't know the word for 'web') and they were dead-set on destroying every last one of them on the walls and under the roof's eaves to prevent future arachnid intrusions. And once again, upon completion, they insisted on keeping the vaccuum turned on for a while to prevent escape. Actually this time I think they opted to vaccuum their entire bedroom floor, so as to "bury the spiders with dirt!" Too funny!!

So, as you can see, it's certainly been a fun-filled, action-packed full full schedule! And I haven't even told you the best news yet! I've been selected as one of only 3 teachers to chaperone a field trip to PARIS!!! Each summer they have 3 bigger field trips - one to Wales, one to Edinburgh, and one to Paris. All the teachers get to bid on a trip and submit an application, and I was absolutely determined to get the Paris trip! I knew I'd have stiff competition, as there's like 30 teachers and only 8 are chosen altogether for the trips. My colleague and buddy here Andrea and I decided to join forces and submit our applications together, and included a Top Ten Reasons why they should choose us. Well our tactic worked as we were both chosen! Andrea and I, and another cool teacher Tim, will lead 26 kids on a four-day, all-expenses paid trip to the City of Lights! And I couldn't be more stoked about it!!! We leave tomorrow morning, and are taking the Eurostar from London into Paris. We've put together an awesome itinerary, and will be taking in all the big sights, yet will still leave free time for the kids (and for us!) It's gonna be a blast, and I still can't believe that I'll be getting paid to travel to Paris!!! WOW! How lucky am I!!!

Phew! I feel exhausted just talking about my schedule/life here! So, I apologize for being so out of touch lately, but now you can see why. But know that things are good here, England and TASIS continue to treat me well, and stay tuned for a full report from Paris!

All About England

A big "'ELLO!" out to all my peeps from here in jolly ole England!

So I finally made it! I'm here in England, I'm working, and I'm legal. It's amazing! :-)

I had a busy last weekend, packing up all my belongings (god I have too many clothes - yet still feel the need to shop) and spending time with as many friends as possible. We hit up Lucerna one last time, had both drinks and a brunch at Radost, went out to Banditos for Carolyn's b-day, and I said all my goodbyes to Prague.

I was feeling pretty down about leaving. Prague certainly hasn't been an easy experience overall and has thrown me in a lot of stressful situations, but I've survived them all and the city does have quite the magic spell. It's beautiful beyond words, and there's been many a moment where I've tried to stop and just 'soak it in' for a few seconds, to try and appreciate what a gorgeous place I live in. Living in Prague was a lifelong dream accomplished, and I feel so very lucky to have been there the last nine and a half months. My how time flies, eh? But, all good things must come to an end, and it's time to move on. So I do feel sad to leave, but it feels right. I feel confident in my decision to move on, even if I don't exactly know where I'm gonna be after the summer...

I've been having serious doubts about Barcelona lately. I have absolutely no doubt that I'd love the city and have a blast, but I'm just not so sure if it's the wisest decision financially. The city is quite expensive to live in, and it's near-impossible for non-EUers to get a work visa. You can work under the table, but you're not guaranteed anything then. If the main reason why I'm leaving Prague is because of financial struggles, then I gotta be sure that the next place I land isn't going to put me in a similarly tight situation. I haven't ruled the city out yet, but I gotta do some more research before I lock that city in as my target.

But hey, that's on the other side of summer, and these days I'm All About England. My new plan is actually to not plan at all. The last month or so I've been such a stresspuppy trying to map out my life, and plan my next 365 days in great detail. It's stupid as it's constantly changing and evolving and there's no need to stress myself out so much. Things always have a way of working out, and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. I'm just gonna enjoy my summer, and see where I'm at at the end of the program. I'll take stock of my options and feelings then (well maybe I'll suss out a few options over the summer, but nothing too serious) and just go from there. A few weeks ago I felt freaked out not knowing exactly where I was gonna be post-TASIS. Now it feels very free and liberating. So yeah I'm turning off that silly part of my brain and for the summer I'm just gonna enjoy "the now" and worry about tomorrow, well...tomorrow!

I'm writing this post from my cute little apartment here at TASIS in Thorpe, and I absolutely love it here. Laurie and I flew in Monday afternoon and were greeted at Heathrow by a member of staff. The school is only 20 minutes or so from the airport, but feels a world away from the hustle and bustle of London - and the world's busiest airport.

The TASIS campus is a clean, green beautiful place. It's a boarding school set among a lush campus comprised of old brick buildings, meandering pebble paths, enormous trees, huge green lawns, and ponds and flower gardens. There must be at least 2 dozen buildings that make up the campus, and it's located right in Thorpe Village - a tiny little place here in Surrey.

I was brought to my apartment and I love it. I've got my own little fully-equipped kitchen, private bathroom, (with a proper shower box with a showerhead high enough even I can stand under it,) a living room, and a tiny little bedroom. It's not a huge space, but I haven't had my *own* living quarters since I lived in Korea and I'm pretty excited about it. I live in Tudor Wing which is not far from the main building with the Dining Hall (it's good to be close to the food!) The apartment is attached to the dorm that I'll be supervising but I have my own entrance. This summer I'll have 7 boys that I'll be looking after, and they'll have their own rooms in the dorm just down the hall from me.

I'm really excited about this new job. I've met almost all of my new colleagues now, and everyone's super friendly. Most of the crew is from the States, but there's at least a half dozen or so of us from Canada. It seems that like 90% of the staff is new, so it's good to know that we're all in the same boat together. The trainers and directors have all been super nice and helpful. It's a very relaxed place, yet very professional. Besides providing me with my own living quarters for free, I'm also fed all my meals, and they even have laundry service for the staff. I've never felt so welcome at a new job. They really treat their teachers and counsellors well, and it's nice to feel really valued at a place of work. We had our first full day of training today, and even though there's been a lot of information thrown our way it doesn't seem all that overwhelming. Here's how my summer's gonna look:

I'll be teaching three blocks of classes each morning - 2 before lunch and 1 after. I don't know who my kids are yet, but I'll be teaching the Advanced Level Middleschoolers, so my kids will be near fluent and between the ages of 11 and 14. In the afternoons the kids all have sports and outdoor activities, and us teachers will help out with that too. Evenings are spent relaxing or playing games, and the weekends are for field trips. It's going to be a full week, every week, with pretty much the whole day filled up, but we do have Sundays free (for the most part) and the job actually seems fun (especially the travelling bits!) so I really don't mind that the school pretty much owns my ass for the next 8 weeks, haha! We have training all this week, and the kids start to arrive on Saturday. Monday's our first day of classes and I already get the feeling that this summer is gonna just fly on by! I don't think I'll have that much time to write in here, but I'll try to stay relatively updated (even though I'm still behind on my spring adventures in Prague!) I'll post up some pics soon too of the campus.

We had the full day free yesterday so 5 of us went into London for the day to hang out. Just up the road from TASIS is a train station where from there we can get into Central London (Waterloo) in just 40 minutes. I'm not so far from the city after all!

Yesterday was a gloriously sunny afternoon and we spent the whole day just wandering around. And, once again, I fell head over heels in love with the city. There's a magic to London that I've never felt elsewhere. There's a real pulse, an energy, and electric current that flows through that city from top to bottom. Whenever I'm in London I feel that I'm truly at the centre of civilization, like the whole world revolves around this one megacity. It's an urban centre of gravity that the whole planet is captivated by. You just have to stand and feel the spinning around you. It's thrilling and mesmerizing and intoxicating and liberating. Even as a teenager I felt a freedom in London that I never had before. London to me is never overwhelming. It may be ginormous and sometimes a bit confusing to navigate, but I never feel lost, never feel nervous. I always feel at home in London even though I've never actually lived here. I felt this enamouration when I first touched down in the British capital 11 years ago, and it's still there today. London will always have a very special place in my heart, no matter where I go, and I'm so excited to get to know this city even better over the next two months.

Yesterday's afternoon spent wandering around the busy streets of London, and today's relatively relaxed schedule, very much is the calm before the storm. From here on out my life gets crazy. Training goes into full force, the kids will be arriving from every corner of the globe in just 3 days, and soon enough we'll all be neck-deep in schedules that will fill our whole days. I'm going to enjoy this momentary calmness as I know it's very fleeting. I'm really happy to be here at TASIS, and England feels really, really good right now. This is the happiest I've been in quite a long time, and I'm looking forward to this whole new adventure. Chip chip cheerio, indeed!

Embassies and Eateries

The ordeal is over!!! At long last!!! And I have good news to report. No, edit that, I have fanfuckingtastic news to report!

I GOT MY VISA!!!

Yes, finally, Scotty has been given the green light to go and work in England. GOD it's been a long time coming, eh? I had a feeling it was going to work out, but even so it's been one helluva emotional rollercoaster the last few weeks. It was making it impossible to plan anything for my future beyond June 18th, and we all know what an obsessive planner Scotty is...

On Monday I had my appointment with the British Embassy and I gladly unloaded my monster stack of documents upon arrival. The visa-obtaining process didn't go quite as I had imagined it would... I had thought that I'd be meeting an actual person who'd look over my docs with me and ask me questions, sorta semi-interview style. Nope, that's far too personal for the Brits! Instead they just wanted my papers and told me to come back at 3pm. I was a bit surprised by this. It was like "Thanks, I'd love to wait a bit longer, draw out the process a few more hours, why don't you!!!???" Nothing like permanent suspense to keep a boy in wonder about his own future. Or drive him over the edge of mental sanity.

So I went back home for a bit and then had lunch with my students who wanted to take me out since this is my last week of teaching. On a side note from all the above stuff, this lunch turned out to be quite a lot of fun. My students were a trio of guys who work for CSOB bank. I teach them every Wednesday and Friday at the oh-so lovely hour of 7:30am and they're a really nice group of fellas. Well it was their idea to "go somewhere American" for lunch as they often ask me about North American culture (the "North" often just gets dropped and I can look beyond my Canadian over-sensitivity with this, as it happens all the time.) Fearing that they'd choose something fastfoody like McDonald's or KFC or Subway I was pleased when they picked out another American eatery - TGI Friday's.

I have a strange relationship with Friday's. Prior to my stint in Korea, I had only ever eaten at one once (in Metropolis at Metrotown in Burnaby) and it was a terrible meal. I believe I ate there with Barb and Amy before we went to see Alanis Morissetter perform in her "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie" Tour sometime around 1999... Anyway I digress... When I lived in Korea Friday's was a regular hangout - a bit of a haven of Western Culture, some salvation from normal life there which is All Korean Food - All The Time!!! Addie and I especially used to have dinner there after work and bitch out our stressful Preschoolers (god bless those little Parrots, the darlings, though...) The food was never *great* at Friday's at LaFesta but it was familiar and wasn't covered in kimchi or spicy red pepper sauce so it was therefore an ideal choice for us expats who were occasionally homesick for recognizable edibles.

Well there's two TGI Friday's in Prague and every now and then I go there with Carolyn and Laurie for greasy food and too-many Long Island Iced Teas. Again, not the best food, but sometimes, goddammit, a boy just wants a plate of fried mozzarella and a tower of fajitas and you can't blame him for that, now can you?

Lunch at Friday's with the CSOB boys turned out to be a highly entertaining experience for me. None of them had ever been to one before, and despite the fact that they've all travelled a fair bit (including George who was just in Orlando a month ago) they have very little experience with "American food." You should've seen their curious and delighted faces over the paper placemats alone (which had a few pics of about a dozen of their more famous dishes.) I was flooded with questions about what the food was and how it was prepared and cooked. Given that I've never worked in a Friday's kitchen, or in any kitchen for that matter, a lot of it I just had to guesstimate.

When the actual menu came it was like kids at Christmas. Pages and pages of food that you'd NEVER see in a Czech restaurant. So many inquiries ensued. "How do you say.... (pointing to "quesadilla.") .... "What's a strip?" (pointing to the steak) ... "What does "glazed" mean? "Do I need to order french fries with this?" ... "If I order soup will it come first like in Czech restaurants?" ... "Is that a potato?" (pointing to fried mozzarella sticks) ... "Is that made from real potatoes?" (pointing to the potato skins) ... "Is that real meat or like McDonald's meat? Will it be big?" (pointing to the burgers) ... "What's a...taco...?" .... "In Canada do you eat ketchup too?" ... "What's typical for Canadian food?"

That question was sadly a bit difficult for me to answer at first, but after a few seconds of pondering I came up with the only truly Canadian dish that I know of - poutine. I told them what it was, which was quite a hard concept for them to grasp as I first had to explain what gravy was and I don't think my description sounded very appetizing... "When you cook a large piece of meat, for example pork or turkey, you use the juices, the liquids from the meat to make a sauce...it's thick...and brown...and very fatty..." LOL I tried to convince them that poutine is actually crazy delicious but again I think I fell short on this mark. Sorry fellow Canucks, I tried!

When the food came they were all quite surprised at what was on their plate. Ludek had the fajita tower and it really is indeed quite the tower of food. Petr had a burger with fries and was rather unsure of what condiments he should add. And despite the fact that 99% of Czechs strongly dislike anything even remotely spicy, he ate *all* the jalapenos on his burger. "Ohhh...those green peppers were a little spicy!" was his response.

And then George had this huge mega burger, complete with a mound of ginormous onion rings on top of the patty. The burger was so big that he really didn't know what to do with it. I told him to 'just pick it up and put it in your mouth' but I guess it really was too intimidating, so out came the fork and knife. I don't think I've seen someone above the age of 9 eat a burger that way. LOL For whatever reason, George and Petr, despite both ordering burgers and fries ("Typical American food!! Right Scott!!!" they commented excitedly,) they had different kinds of fries and hamburger buns and this prompted a lot of comparing.

Heinz Ketchup and French's Mustard was on the table and I told them that Heinz was owned by Al Gore's wife's family. This came as a huge surprise to them, and then sparked a debate as to whether or not these particular bottles of ketchup and mustard were made in America and then shipped over, or processed somewhere in Europe using European tomatoes and...mustard seed or whatever. I don't know if a conclusion was reached. One thing's for sure - a meal at TGI Friday's has never felt like such a...cultural experience...as it did this time! Haha!

Anyways after lunch I went back to the Embassy and was awarded with my visa after a short wait. They only asked me a few questions about my first visa application and then went in the back to print it up. My passport now has a very lovely UK working holidaymaker visa inside (a full-page! and with my photo melted in!) and I'm THRILLED to know that next week when I fly to London it'll be for a job that's waiting for me, and not just to wander around as a sad, lost puppy! Yah!! I knew my determination would work out!

I owe extra special credit to Jenn Potts for pointing me in the direction of this visa. Without her this wouldn't have been possible. I owe her big. Like *really big.* Like she can totally claim my first three children kinda deal. Or the water bottle that Robbie Williams drank out of that I stole from his Vancouver concert in 1999. Okay I haven't actually seen that bottle in years and years and fear it's been lost in all my moves. But if I still knew where it was she could have it. Or maybe just look at it. Yeah, looking at it should be enough. That's worth about the same as my first three kids I father, right? Right???

The Golden Carrot

So I'm sure you're all wondering what the hell's going on with my life and all of this visa crap. Well, time for a brief update as D-Day (Decision Day) has come and gone already, hasn't it?

Our appeal has been denied.

Despite a lot of effort from the school to try and 'sell me' to Immigration, they just wouldn't bite at our bait. This did not come as a huge surprise, as apparently the Home Office almost never retracts their initial decisions.

My friend Jenn is a case in point example. She's a real teacher who's been living and working in the UK for a few years now and has had her own share of visa woes. She applied for a similar work permit as I did and despite already having been working for a school for a while she was also denied. She fought the decision with an appeal, waited 6 weeks, and was still denied, even though she had the bloody Ministry of Education fighting for her case! And to add insult to injury, the UK is currently experiencing a major teacher shortage! WTF!? For a country that's supposed so desperate for teachers that they're actively recruiting in Canada and the US, they sure don't make it easy to work there! Well, at least in hearing Jenn's experience I know not to take it personally.

On top of being able to commiserate our UK visa struggles together, Jenn has proven to be a wealth of information and has lined herself up to be the ultimate lifesaver. She's suggested that I apply for another kind of visa - a Working Holidaymaker - and this just may be the ticket needed. She's back in Canada applying for the same sort of visa herself and it's looking to be relatively easy to get. It's a visa that allows one to work/travel/stay in the UK at *any job* for up to two years. You can apply for it online and it can be processed fairly quickly. Sounds like just what I need!!

I went to the website and completed the monster online application, and now have an appointment with the British Embassy here in Prague for Monday, June 11th. I've been in contact with the Embassy, and provided that I can bring all the necessary documentation they ask for, I can get this visa on that same day! It's a good stack of paperwork that I'll need to bring in, but it's all manageable and I shouldn't have any major difficulties. So...it looks like I may finally be getting my visa after all!

*knock on wood*

But one thing's for sure, the last 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster! It's been a very stressful experience, and I feel that I've been pulled back and forth so many times. England's off. Okay England's back on. Nope, it really is off. Oh, there's some hope, it's back on again. Argh!!! I feel like it's been this ever-elusive Golden Carrot dangling in front of my face, just barely out of grasp, and whenever I reach to grab it, it pulls away. I jump forward again but once more Mr. Carrot escapes again. Over and over again. FRUSTRATING!

But hey I'm a pretty determined fellow and have not given up on England. Despite the fact that she doesn't seem to want me in, I WILL work in that country this summer! LOL Things do seem to be looking up for this other visa. Should that fall out too, then I'll be on a plane heading back for Thunder Bay in 2 weeks. Hopefully I won't though. NOT that I don't want to see my friends and family back in T-dot B-dot, but I really do need this England job, financially. It's my ticket to Life Beyond Summer, whether that be Barcelona or...wherever I end up.

So there ya go. Feeling a bit confused? Me too. But like I said, it's looking good (for once) and I expect it all to go to plan. Two weeks today I should be in the UK already! God!! ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT IN PRAGUE!!! How sad is that?

A Whole Lotta News

Wow. The last week and a half has been rather eventful, with a lot of big decisions being made, and a lot of monkey wrenches being thrown into the mix. My future, at the moment, is all up in the air, and I have no idea how it's all gonna pan out. You better be sitting down (well of course you are, I mean who reads a blog while standing?) cause some of what you are about to read may come as a shock.

I've decided to leave Prague.

(waits patiently for everyone to pick their jaw up off the ground.)

So, since I was leaving for the summer anyway (well, maybe, sorta, possibly - more on that in later on...) I've decided not to return to the Czech Republic in the fall. Instead, I've decided this fall to move to BARCELONA!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*background murmurs...* "Did he just say he's moving to SPAIN???" ..."He's gonna move to yet another country AGAIN!?"..."Barcelona!? Where the eff did that idea come from?!?"..."Wasn't it his BIG DREAM to live in PRAGUE for a few years???"

Whoa, simmer down, peeps. I know you're all aghast and excited. I've got a lot of explaining to do...

You may recall that before coming here I was planning on living in Prague for 2-3 years...

(everyone collectively and feverishly nods their heads)

Well, yeah that was the plan, but sometimes life has other things in store, and you gotta be flexible to change, especially as a foreigner living overseas. Trust me when I say that this decision did not come lightly. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching over the last few months, a lot of deep thinking and pondering, and have sadly come to the conclusion that I just can't afford to stay in Prague any longer. I love the city, I have a great life here - wonderful friends, a fab flat, good students - and really do enjoy living here, but the truth comes down to the fact that the money here is SHITE. My income here is the lowest that I've ever had, at any job, at any period in my life. It really is abysmal.

Yes, Prague is a relatively inexpensive place to live, especially in a European context as the cost of living here is dramatically lower than its Western neighbours. However, I have financial commitments back home (HELLO student loans) that I attempt to make monthly payments on. My income here is fairly low as it is, even for Czech standards (granted I'm still able to survive here) but it's near impossible to put anything away as savings. And when I am able to put a little money aside to send back home, the exchange rate just slaughters it. The Czech crown just doesn't go very far at all on the world market, and with the Canadian dollar being stronger than ever, I just can't keep up.

It's also pretty much impossible to do any travel here in Europe on this income. In the 8 months I've been here I've been able to see a lot of the Czech Republic, and have had two weekend trips away - to Berlin and Vienna - but each of those trips nearly broke the bank, and it's rather depressing to be finally here in Europe and not really able to see much of it. We all know how much Scotty loves to travel, and to be limited so much is like suffocating my soul. (No, I'm not dramatic at all.) Scotty needs to be a free man, and unfortunately we live in a world where a lot of the time it's only finances that permit such desired freedom. *sigh*

So, on to Barcelona! Why Barcelona you may ask? Well it's a city that I've always had it in the back of my mind as a possibility should I ever need another adventure post-Praha. Well 'post-Praha' has happened a lot sooner than I imagined it would, and so now Barcelona's been fast-forwarded up to this fall. I've never been there before, but have only heard great things about it. Anyone I've ever spoken with who's been there just raves about how much they loved it. Let's just say Barcelona's got a lot of eager beaver ambassadors/salespeople scattered around the world promoting the place!

And what's NOT to love? Hot sunny weather to keep you tanned year round, splendid beaches kissing the liquid bliss known as The Mediterranean, a treasure trove of architecture to nourish the soul, from the atmospheric Gothic Quarter to the hustle and bustle of Las Ramblas to the ever-under-construction sky-scraping eye-popping La Sagrada Familia, art galleries and museums famed the world over (Picasso and Gaudi and Dali! Oh my!), to a heart-thumping blood-pumping dancefloor-jumping nightlife that can keep pace with any city out there, to internationally-renowned cuisine (tapas, sangria, seafood, wine...mmm...) that is so delicious and inventive even neighbouring Cuisine King France is taking notice, to the most head-turning gorgeous local gene pool full that the gods above ever decided to bestow upon a people. HOLA!!!

It's all about fun, fashion, flavours, fiestas, fantasy, and any other enjoyable F-word that you can think of (wink wink!) This is a city made for The Hedonist's Life. Clearly Scotty belongs here!

I'm hoping to move there this September, and yes to teach again. And it seems like I've been able to recruit Oscar, my best buddy here in Prague, to return to his native Espana with me, so already I'm working on building my Catalunya Social Network! I know it won't be as easy to find a job there as it was in Prague (in Spain they often prefer to hire EU nationals) but I've got a lot of experience, and with my charms and this smile, who can say no? ;-) And hey any job I do get, at least I'll be making euros, which is a real proper currency (unlike the local one here which is worth about as much as Monopoly money) and so I should be able to save up a bit more.

So with this big piece of really fantastic news (anyone interested in a free place to stay with Yours Truly in Barcelona?) I do have some bad news to share as well. Yes, life likes to keep you balanced and grounded, doesn't it?

I just found out last Friday that my application for a UK permit has been denied. No work permit = no summer job in England. I found out via an email from TASIS, who are as shocked as I am about it. Apparently, according to the UK Home Office who issues work visas, I don't have enough teaching experience to receive a permit as a teacher. WTF?!? This is absolute bullshit, as I have twice as much teaching experience as my good friend Laurie, who's already been given a permit to teach there this summer. It doesn't make sense at all!

The news hit me hard, as I had planned my whole summer around this job - a teaching experience that I was really looking forward to, and also a financially-lucrative opportunity that would pay for my travel to/nest-egg in Barcelona. Suddenly everything was in jeopardy. I had already told my school here that I'd be leaving in mid-June, has told my flatmates that I'd be moving out in a month, and even already bought my plane ticket to London. The wheels had already been well put into motion for a summer in England, and now it's suddenly screeched to a halt. What am I going to do now?

Luckily, there's some hope on the horizon. TASIS has already filed an appeal and is hoping to change their minds and reverse their decision. Unfortunately, with the way that government bureaucracy works, the appeal won't be reviewed until May 31st. It will be a rather last-minute decision as I'm meant to fly to England on June 18th! Please keep your fingers crossed for me! I'm really hoping that they'll give me a permit in the end!!

But I've got a few other options as well that I'm keeping primed should England officially and forever fall through. When I applied for TASIS England I had also applied for the TASIS in Switzerland. I've been recently informed that they still have one position open, but at the moment there's other candidates that are being considered before me. The Director there seems like a real dick, but the job would be great so if they offer it to me you can bet I'll jump at it.

And should both England and Switzerland not work out, there's yet another option still. My lovely amazing wonderfully kind and generous parents have offered me a plane ticket home to Thunder Bay if I want it. I could come home for the summer, maybe try and get rehired at Starbucks, hang out with all my much-missed family and friends, and then fly straight to Barcelona in the fall. Summer is the best time of year to be in Thunder Bay, and it would be nice to spend some time at camp (the family cottage) too. It would be a fun summer for sure, even though it would be a lot less financially-rewarding than working in Europe.

Regardless of what happens, all the options and outcomes are good, as my wise mother has helped me to realize. So who knows where I'm gonna end up this June! England? Switzerland? Thunder Bay? Your guess is a good as mine...

Yes, never a dull moment in this boy's life!! :-p

An Increase of Boobage

Jo gets cozy with a less-than-comfy statue at Trojska Zamek.




Another month, another guest. The Very Lovely Joanna breezed into Prague for 10 lovely days in mid-April, and sparked off a whole other wave of guests for this Month Of Spring.

Jo's not a newbie to this blog - you'll remember her as the much-loved and adored 'Girl With The Nice Rack' from my CELTA days last fall. In fact, the first pic I ever published on here was me with JoJo, tits out in full glory. And who could forget the scandalous Hallowe'en pics, with Jo as the Tawdry Bohemian Maiden in much need of a big spanking! Oh the fond memories...

Sadly Jo left us Prague Crew last November and has been on a EuroTour ever since. She had a brief teaching stint in Moscow and has since landed in the UK where she wanders like a busty gypsy in London. Soon she'll be off for a summer in France and then to Poland in the fall (man this girl's giving me a run for my money in the Who Can Rack Up More Passport Stamps? Contest!) In between giving her girls some sun in as many European countries as possible, Jo blessed us with a return to The Prague. Yah! We decided to make her return a surprise for the others so we had a good time surprising the rest of the gang one by one.

Jo's visit flew by in a heartbeat - I don't even know where all the time went. We had some nights out with drinkies, including the requisite old stomping grounds of Radost, had more than a few dinners out, Jo and I spent an afternoon at Trojska Zamek, and the gang had a very lovely sunny Sunday picnic at Petrin. She sure was lucky with the weather while here!

It was great to have her back, and because of Jo's presence I got to see a lot more of the ol' CELTA gang, who don't hang out as much as we used to. I had suspicions before but Jo's visit totally confirmed it - Jo was the glue that bound out little gang together. You see, last fall while the rest of us ran around like chickens with our heads cut off looking for work and places to live, Jo lived it up in The High Life, out partying nightly til dawn, bouncing between hostels and beds wherever she could (although mostly at Greg & Laurie's), and generally bringing smiles and sunshine wherever she went. Not one to be slowed down by budgetary constraints or daily hangovers, (remember "Jo's Bad Night Out"?) she was our Social Queen. Wherever Jo was, there was sure to be a good time. And some truly fab Boob Factor going on. Her Freedom and Lust For Life (or was it just good ol' fashioned Lust?) ensured that the CELTA Crew always had some social get-together to attend. Once she left we all kinda settled into our daily routines. Oh of course we all still hang out, but just not as frequently or as feverishly as when Jo was around. And none of the girls who stayed are nearly as generous with showing off their chesty assets as Miss JoJo was!

"Jo! Don't leave!" Oh Jo, how do I love thee! :-)

Check out the pics below, when Jo and I wandered around Trojska Zamek, and also from the Petrin Picnic. And of course what would a Night Out With Jo be like without some raunch? She twisted my rubber arm to get me to take some dirty pics, and the following ensued.

One of the fountains found in the garden.

Trojska Zamek - a magnificent palace in Prague's suburbia!

Scotty chills on the grand staircase.

One of the beefy statues holding up the palace's balcony.

Man I'd love to have a bod like that! ;-)

The Petrin Picnic! Greg looking (as usual) not unlike a serial killer. Hey at least he's a musical serial killer! ;-)

"Essence...of Spring!" Sonja's awfully patient with Scotty's photography antics!

Christina all smiles in the park.

The Star Herself enjoying all the attention.

Chico Latino Oscar heats up the Spanish Hunk Factor at Petrin.

The perfect way to spend a sunny Sunday afternoon.

CELTA gang reunites! Laurie, Scotty, Al, Jo, and Kim!

Jo insists on ramming her ample cleavage onto my unsuspecting innocent body. (and wow I am quite a bit taller than Jo!)

Both Jo and Scotty look a bit too comfortable in this position!

"What do you mean? This is how we always sit and chat on the sofa!"

Jo's been a naughty naughty girl and needs a good firm spank!

Apparently so do I!