Day 53: Fatherhood

So I *finally* got paid in full today!

I applied a bit of pressure to my boss this morning, politely reminding him, yet again, that I still hadn't been paid in full for my first month of work. I've been pretty damn patient so far, but I'm approaching payday for Month #2 and I was still waiting for the rest of my money from Month #1? Yeah, no...I'm not down with that. Anyways the money materialized in the afternoon, and I was really pleased to finally have that taken care of.

However, the payback shoe did drop. I didn't get quite as much as I thought I was going to earn, but this time it was due to my own miscalculation. TAXES! Oh yeah, I forgot about those! Korean taxation laws, atleast for the income bracket I'm in, is at 7%. This is *much lower* than what I'd be paying in taxes for that same amount of income back in Canada, but it still sucked to have to pay up! I'm really confused though with how taxation works with me back in Canada.... Will I have to pay even more taxes in a year from now to Canada when I do my income taxes for 2004? Or am I excused because my earnings were in another country, and I already paid the appropriate amount of taxes for that particular country? I'm really not sure about this. It would make sense to me to ONLY pay Korean taxes since, with the exception of my final month at Delany's in January, all of my 2004 earnings will have been made OUTSIDE of Canda...but knowing the Canadian government they'll find some way to milk more money out of me in a year, I'm sure. Greedy bastards! It would really really suck to be dinged twice for taxes....

New topic - something more pleasant, please! Let's talk about fatherhood. I feel almost embarrassed saying this, because it's so 'not me', but for the first time in my life, I'm really feeling strong urges to have children of my own. And I know that I can blame it all on this job! I had always sorta considered having kids one day - like way in the future after a career had been worked out first, but it wasn't something that I had really thought about too much. Now, being surrounded by all these kids, of various ages, I can honestly say that I would really love to have children of my own one day. Some of my kids are so absolutely adorable, I just want to take them home with me (I don't think the parents would like this too much though!) There's this one kid in particular who I totally love - his name's Fred and he's one of my really young 5-year olds. He's the sweetest little thing and he's sooo cute - he's the only student in the school with curly hair (all the other kids have poker straight black hair) and he has these bright shiny eyes and a laugh that could light up a room. All of my kids have a special place in my heart, but Fred is definitely one of my favourites. I have to say that it feels really, really good to walk in to class everyday and have tons of kids run up and give me a giant hug. Most days I have to pry them off cause they just don't wanna let go. These children give out love so willingly and so unconditionally - I've only been in their lives for two months and it's like they can't wait to see me everyday. They seem so genuinely happy to see me and I love the love they give out. It really is a beautiful and inspiring thing.

Now, realistically, I know that I'm a bit spoiled with these kids. I only spend part of the day with them, and so when they're bad or misbehaving I know that once the bell rings and it's the end of the day I don't have to deal with them anymore. They go home to their parents who are the ones who are truly raising them. I get to spend a lot of time with them, but I mostly only see their good sides and get to deal with all the fun stuff (most of the time.) Still, even though it's only been 2 months I've seen so much progress and growth in some of my kids already that it really blows me away. I can't even imagine how much they're gonna grow up and change by the time my year here is up. I really will be sad when it's time to leave these kids.

Personally, I think I'd make a great dad. I'm patient, loving, and really feel like a big kid at heart. I play with my kids when none of the other teachers will, and am not afraid to be really silly or look dumb or just 'put myself out there' to get a smile from them. To know what it would feel like to raise a son or daughter, from the day they're born to when they're wee little children to when they're teenagers to when they're adults of their own....must be the most amazing, rewarding feeling a human could ever experience.

Now I'm in no rush to go off and get me some babies, there's plenty of other things in life I want to experience first. I have to complete The World Tour, which will last several years, and then I want to go back to Canada and do my Masters, and then at least have a real, solid career beginning... So it's probably a good decade or so before I would ever have children, but there's a small part of me inside now that can't wait for that day. For the day when I get to be the dad who's waiting for his little boy or girl to come home from a day at school, run into my arms, and tell me how much they love me, and know that this child's life is more important to me than anything else in the world. To have children must be to know what true unconditional love really is. Parents are so lucky!