The S2H World Tour!

The Journey From Hell

2008-01-10T00:52:00.000+01:00

What? What's this? A brand new blog post??? Holy fuck!

No, you're not hallucinating. This is indeed a brand spanking new blog post. I know that I suddenly stopped writing mid-way through the summer, and do need to finish up the last two months of The S2H World Tour: Eurostyle, but for now it's just the one post. I just had a pretty crazy travel adventure and I *know* that you're gonna enjoy hearing about this.

So as you may or may not already know, I decided to go down to Chicago for New Year's Eve this year. One of my best buds, Michael, lives there and I was in need of a holiday. I've never ever been to the Windy City and was really looking forward to some time in the big city. The funny thing about Chicago is that it's not actually all that far from Thunder Bay. It's only an 11-hour drive, and this isn't so bad if you compare it with, say, driving to Toronto (18 hours plus.) But for whatever reason it's totally off the radar here in Thunder Bay. No one ever thinks of driving down there, which is too bad cause it really is a fantastic city.

So I totally encourage you to go visit there one day, but if you do drive there, I really hope you don't have an experience similar to mine...

The day started off on a bad foot. I woke up at 7am after a really restless sleep and felt like shit. My head hurt and my stomach was in knots. And then shortly after my shower I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Coop, eww! What should have been taken as a SERIOUS OMEN was passed off as a temporary upset tummy.

Ooooh how I wish it had been temporary...

You know how you feel like shit and then you throw up and then suddenly you feel like a million bucks, like you could go climb a mountain or run a marathon or something? Well maybe not exactly mountains or marathons, but I did feel *a lot* better after emptying my stomach, and was convinced I was ready for the 11-hour solo drive down.

Oh how wrong I was!!!

I grabbed a scone and caramel macchiato from Starbucks for the journey to the border, and when I left Thunder Bay it was just after 9am. I wasn't feeling super, but honestly felt okay enough to drive. Less than an hour later I had crossed into Minnesota and all was going...okay. My stomach was totally in a cranky mood but I was being good to it by not drinking my coffee and switching to water. Surely I had him under control. I mean willpower's strong enough to control any bodily action, right?

Well my tempermental tummy had other things in mind. 3.5 hours later I rolled into Duluth and was feeling pretty light-headed. My stomach was nearly empty and I felt weak and hungry, but was so not feeling like food going IN was a good idea. I pulled into a McDonald's in Superior, Wisconsin and decided to get a snack to help make me feel better.

Now before your jump down my throat (I can hear you already: "MCDONALDS'S!!!?? SCOTTY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!) it wasn't like I went in and ordered 8 Big Macs or anything. I ordered more water, the fruit platter, and some chicken and fries for supper later on in case I did feel like eating more. I ate the fruit platter, had a drink of water, and was already feeling like I was coming back to life. I was sitting in my car, still in the parking lot, when suddenly my stomach decided that at that very moment it absolutely necessary to empty out its entire contents. Like no warning at all. I was just sitting there enjoying my apples and Dasani when suddenly it was SHAZAM! Vomit Time. So what's a boy to do?

I opened the car door, leaned out, and retched for the longest time. It all came back up. Dasani, apples and grapes, white chocolate blueberry scone, and a little caramel macchiato. This was so not a glamourous moment. Fortunately for me there was no one within view so my stomach's efforts at decorating the parking lot organically was my secret to keep. Phew. Well time to get back on the road...

And once again, after this I felt good again. I cranked up the tunes and was soon singing and car dancing through Northern Wisconsin to my melodious music mix. I was making good time at 140 km/hr and honestly felt that was the last of it. Well this is when Mother Nature decided to throw her cards into the mix. The grey skies decided to unload their celestial storage of snow and throw it all at me and my Camry. The roads soon became very slushy and slippery and traffic had slowed to deal with the crap weather. A bit of a delay, but hey I'm a Northern Boy, I've driven in winter conditions for years and years, I'm responsible, I'm cool, I can handle it, right?

Well I was at a big interchange changing from one freeway to another, and was going down a sharply curved onramp when suddenly I lost control of the car. Gravity and ice took over, and seconds later I spun out and slammed into a snowbank - and one of the onramp's reflector poles driven deep into the ground. Snap crackle crunch, Kellogg's Crashed Camry.

I couldn't see any damage while I was still in the car and knew it was relatively minor, but still I had heard broken glass and new that my front headlight was not in a good condition. But, much more urgently, I instantly recognized the dangers in lying perpendicular across a curved hidden snowy downslope onramp. NOT a good place to be chillin' out. I pulled out of the snow and got back on the freeway.

At the next available exit I got off the interstate and checked out the car. It wasn't pretty, but not nearly as bad as I had originally feared. The orange part of the left headlight was nearly completely severed from the car and was dangling (but still operational) and there was a good size dent behind the light. Oops. Well, nothing I can do about it here, time to move on.

I was feeling pretty shitty at this point. I was pissed at myself for getting in my first car accident ever (well, first that ever caused any noticeable damage...) and my stomach was getting all bitchy again. It was now dark and the weather was getting worse and worse. Blinding snow was being driven across the interstate and it was extremely slippery. Visability was near zero, and it was all I could do to concentrate on the rearlights of the car ahead of me to not veer off the road. All around the freeway chaos ensued. I stopped counting at 20 after seeing over-turned cars and jack-knifed transport trucks. Flashing police lights and cars stuck in the snow became a very common sight. It was absolutely crazy. Snow Armageddon had been unleashed on Wisconsin.

It's at this point that I want to communicate to you my extreme disdain for the state of Wisconsin. Wisconsin SUCKS ASS. Shitty weather aside, it's a really freaking boring state. There's NOTHING of interest to see while driving through it, and it's a never-ending journey. I swear, I'd be driving along, see a sign for Madison saying it was 160 miles away, drive for like 2 hours, and then see another sign saying Madison: 145 miles. WTF??? Was I stuck in some sort of hole in the time-space continuum? Why is Madison like the oasis mirage in the desert? Always in the distance but you can never actually get there. I don't understand it. And the endless hours would be better if there was actually something to look at other than trees and fucking farms. Saskatchewan is flat and boring, but at least it's Scenic Boring. Wisconsin is just Plain Fucking Boring. The entire state could disappear into a void and no one would miss it. Hell no one would even notice! You just drive and drive and drive across it and swear that you'll never get to Madison, much less the Illinois border. Argh!

Well all of the above, in hindsight now, was very tolerable in comparison with what happened next. I'd take a McDonald's parking lot sick spell and a freeway-destroying blizzard any day compared to the next chapter in the story...

I had at this point actually passed Madison and was nearing the Illinois border. Do not underestimate the miraculous feat that this alone is. Passing Madison was like crossing the entire Arabian desert on your hands and knees to reach Mecca, or like Moses parting the sea at his command, or like Britney going out for a night on the town and NOT accidentally(?) flashing the paparazzi her va-j-j. It truly was a Christmas MIRACLE.

I was driving along on the freeway when all of a sudden, yep you guessed it, Mr. Tummy started his antics up again. Ohhhhhh FUCK. I was nowhere near a freeway exit and was driving along at like 100 km/hr and could not stop. IT was coming, and IT was going to be here very, very soon.

My mother, being the thoughtful lady that she is, had supplied me with a few supersized ziploc plastic baggies just in case of a situation like this. I had stuffed them into the door pocket next to me just in case a predicament just like this should come up. I was starting to gag and could feel the beast rising up my throat and was blindly trying to grab one of the plastic baggies, but alas, could not find one. With mere microseconds left before the monster emerged, and not wanting to be sick all over myself, I did the next best thing.

I grabbed the empty McDonald's bag next to me and, just in the nick of time, threw up in that. One wave, however, was not enough, and round after round after round of vomit poured out of me like a dam bursting. I retched and retched and retched but it was all going inside the bag. Seriously, I filled like a quarter of the bag! Where was all of this coming from? I hadn't eaten/drank that much today... And don't forget this is all while still commanding my Camry on I-94 at 100 km/hr in a blinding blizzard! It was a shitty situation, but I felt at least I had it somewhat under control...

Well, that is, until the bottom of the McDonald's bag completely gave out and dumped a Lake Michigan-size pool of vomit All Over Me. In a split second an earth-shattering tsunami of warm, wet, liquidy gooey vomit SPLOOSHED down and covered my entire lap, my lovely green turtleneck from Banana Republic, my winter jacket, the seat, the floor, part of the steering wheel, and not to mention had filled one of my shoes. That's when you realize that wow things really can't get worse. I wanted to scream but all I could muster up was a few "Fuck!"'s. It was the lowest of the lows, and man did life ever suck at that moment.

I pulled off at the next exit and into a gas station parking lot. I sat for a moment, warm and wettened by my own vomit, tried not to gag on the SMELL, and had to take a second to pull myself together. I was completely disgusted with myself. I've never felt GROSSER in my life. I shoulda just shat my pants just for the hell of it. Just for, you know, icing on the cake and all that jazz. But I had enough to deal with, and so I began the clean-up process. I emptied out as much vomit from the car as I could, stripped down (in the blizzard, don't forget) and exchanged the vomity clothes for new clean ones, and tried to wipe down as much of the interior of the car as I could. It took about a half hour and A LOT of papertowel, but I managed to improve the situation, well, marginally, and all the while being discreet as I really didn't want to share my glorious moment with the other gas station patrons. At the end of it I covered the still-wet seat with my Dad's snowpants (sorry Dad!) and got back on the freeway yet again. I mean I was still like 3 hours from Chicago! Throwing up all over yourself in your car sucks, but doing so and then having to keep driving sucks even more!

It really was absolutetly disgusting, but yes I drove my smelly vomity car all the way and made it to Chicago. Michael and I had arranged to park the car at his friend's place in the burbs for the duration of the trip, and when he picked me up all I could do was apologize over and over. I was still sick and gross and smelly and now had a bag of vomity laundry to clean and really was the worst friend ever. Luckily for me Michael is an awesome and understanding guy and was very kind and supportive. I had a shower at his and then crashed for the longest sleep ever. God I was SO HAPPY to be out of that car after having taken FIFTEEN HOURS to get down to Chicago. Longest, shittiest day ever.

The good news is that after a day like that the only way to go from there is up, right? The rest of my trip was fabulous and I had a brilliant time. I got to hang out tons with Michael and his super sweet bf Hyungi, spend New Year's and 2 days catching up with Addie (another old friend from my Korea days) and played tourist for 8 fun-filled days in Chicago. I had quite the long list before coming down but managed to see and do almost everything. I went to the Art Institute, the Field Museum (twice!), the Museum of Contemporary Photography, took in the view at the top of the Sears Tower, had martinis with the boys one night in the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the John Hancock Centre, went and saw some theatre, ate tons of delicious ethnic food, walked around downtown a ton, and did A LOT of shopping. It was pretty damn cold most of the time I was there but I didn't let that slow me down. Chicago's a pretty easy city to navigate and there's SO MUCH to see and do there. Architecture buffs will be in heaven as Chicago is very, very skyscraper-heavy and I spent most of my time there looking up, waaaaay up. We even went out on the town one night for drinks and dancing at nightclubs Roscoe's and Hydrate and it was so awesome to enjoy the big city nightlife.

Chicago is a truly great city - one of America's best, without a doubt, and a destination worth returning again and again. Michael and Hyungi were terrific hosts and made me feel very comfortable there, and hanging out with Mikey and Addie again reminded me that neither time nor distance can diminish true friendships. I love you guys!!!

I drove back home on Sunday the 6th and I'm pleased to say that the journey back was smooth, calm, and drama-free. My stomach was good the whole time and thankfully there wasn't a repeat performance of VomitFest 2007. And yes it really was 11 hours on the way home. Not that bad at all. Very doable, well, provided you're not battling evil stomachs and death-defying blizzards! ;-)

I'll have my Chicago pics up very very soon so be sure to check out those too. Hope you got a laugh from my story. At least now I feel that I can laugh about it too! :-)

Life On The Island

2007-07-11T20:08:00.000+02:00

A big shout out to all my peeps around the world, from here on The Island Of TASIS! Well it seems that all of my predictions about being crazy busy have all come true. Three and a half weeks have flown by and indeed I'm a very, very busy boy. Lots to update you on. This post will likely be epic in length, so better grab a coffee and get comfy. Happy reading!

So yes it's true, TASIS does indeed own my ass! My days are so full and so busy from morning til night. There's some days when in the whole of the day I'll have maybe one hour to myself for free time. The rest of the time I'm working my butt off. But I'm in no way complaining as the job is fun and active and always changing.

Here's how a typical day looks for me: I wake up at 7:30am, wake up the boys in my dorm (more on them later), shower and have breakfast, and then spend an hour doing prep for my lessons. I teach 3 50-minute blocks of English each day, to a class of 12 teenagers (also more on them later). I have 2 blocks before lunch and 1 after, and then afternoons are for sport. I "coach" ultimate frisbee with a way-cool French guy named Pierre (he's also my TA in my class) every other afternoon. (I say "coach" as those who know me know that I'm not exactly the sportiest guy around. But it's fun and I'm actually pretty good and I've come to love ultimate frisbee.)

After dinner in the evenings I have to do my lesson-planning for the next day, but I also get to take part in the fun events organized by all the school counsellors. These change every day, but range from board games nights to scavenger hunts to capture the flag to fashion shows and dance-offs and tonight in fact is Haunted TASIS where the campus is being transformed into one giant haunted house! Check-in for the kids is usually around 10:30pm and I gotta make sure my boys are ready for bed, and then by this point it's quite late and I'm exhausted, and I normally fall asleep in about 2 minutes! Phew!

So you can see how each day is almost completely full, but the kids are great (we have 250 kids from 38 different countries - wow, talk about international!) and my coworkers are awesome! We have a lot of fun together and have a really good bond. That's a good thing, as we're all stuck here living on this little island together. I keep saying "island", cause it really is like living on one. All the teachers and students live and work on one campus, so you teach together, play together, live together, eat together, all in one location. It's a bit odd to have your whole universe exist on one 35-acre campus, but luckily we get escape now and then on the weekends.

The weekends are actually the best part of the job, as that's when we do all our field trips. Each week the kids get to choose from like 7-10 different field trips, and us teachers get to choose which trips we'd like to chaperone. My first weekend I chaperoned a trip to the British Museum in London, and that was really cool. We had about 2.5 hours in the museum, which is a truly magnificent place, and then the kids got free time in the afternoon for shopping.

Every Friday night the kids get to pick from 2 theatre trips in the city, and I've been very lucky to have gone on both. The first week actually was a bit strange, as we had the bomb threat in London so our director decided to pull all the kids off that weekend's theatre trips. This worked out in favour of the teachers, as they had already paid for all the tickets, and so half the staff got to go into London and see a show for free. And it was such a fun night! It all came together very last minute, but we raced to get dressed and ready, and then hopped onto a train to Waterloo. We made it into the city and into the Theatre District just in time to catch our performance of The Lion King. And what a spectacular show it was! It was truly beautiful and magical, and even if you're not a Disney fan, I highly recommend it. After the show all of us kinda just meandered back to the station, soaking up the night time festival air of London. London is busy at all hours, and it was so freeing to be out in the city on such a warm night. We walked across this big bridge over the Thames and took a moment to look at all the city lights and skyline all aglow - the London Eye, St. Paul's Cathedral, the egg-shaped Swiss Re Building, and of course Parliament with Big Ben. I had to pinch myself to remember that I'm here and *getting paid* for doing this! Wow!

Last weekend's events were a blast too! I got to go again into London to see a show, and this time it was to see We Will Rock You - the Queen musical. And oh man what a blast that was! Such a fun story, and the music and vocals were incredible. Freddy would be proud! And then on Saturday I got to head-chaperone a trip to Brighton. Brighton is a seaside city on the south coast about an hour and a half from TASIS, and we lucked out with beautiful weather. It was a warm sunny day and it was so wonderful to see the ocean again. I hadn't smelled the salty freshness of the ocean since being in Vancouver in August 2006, and oh how I missed it! Brighton's biggest attraction is Brighton Pier, which is a giant pier extending way way out into the sea, and is full of cheesy arcade games, a small amusement park, and more fish-and-chips restaurants than you can count! Brighton itself is an interesting place - a real mix of touristy tackiness with some real proper history, especially in the maritime form. They also have a big palace there that was done up all 'faux-Asian'. Interesting indeed. Brighton, to me, felt like a combination of Santa Monica, the Poppies Lanes area in Bali, and Stanley (the little seaside village on the backside of Hong Kong Island.) It was a relaxing day, and you can check out the pics from it on my facebook page.

I have had a little bit of free time for myself. Well, at least I did on the first weekend. It was Canada Day weekend, and my good friend Jenn Potts, who lives just up the tracks in Bracknell, was kind enough to host me, and I so I got to escape from the island for a full 24 hours! She picked me up the from the station (literally just 18 minutes west of mine) and we went back to her place where we had pizza dinner with her friends Lisa and Imran. The four of us then got dressed up and took a taxi to Reading, a good-sized city not far from Bracknell. REFLEX was our destination, and oh what a good one it was! REFLEX is a bar that plays ONLY 80's hits, every day! And it was heaven!!! I got to have plenty of drinks (a special pleasure these days as while on campus all alcohol is forbidden for teachers) and we did a lot of dancing. We danced our arses off to all sorts of great cheesy 80's hits, and it was such delicious fromage. The club even has some stages and stripper poles that you can use if you want! We headed home around 1:30am and I got to have a proper lie-in the next morning which felt like paradise.

Being that it was Canada Day, Jenn was hosting a festive BBQ, so I got to enjoy the party as well. There were about 8 people there and we enjoyed a delicious meal out on the patio. Afterwards we went inside to play with Ian (Jenn's boyfriend) Nintendo Wii. It was my first time operating such machinery and it was great fun! It was a nice, relaxing day and it felt so good to be out with adults outside the school environment. In the evening Lisa and Imnran were kind enough to drop me off back at TASIS, and then it was back to island living.

Being that our campus is so international, it's a real interesting mix of students. They range in age from 11 up to 17, and most of them come from very rich families. It's fascinating (and also sad) to hear kids talk about their summer homes in St. Tropez, and their maid services at their palatial homes and such. The class I teach turned out to be different than I had thought it would be, but my kids are really cool.

I am now teaching Level 3 (of 6) and it's the older kids. I've got 12 teenagers, between 14 and 16 years old. There's Annachiara, Dario, and Lorenzo from Italy, Osama and Mosab from Saudi Arabia, Marie and Hadrien from France, Stanislav from Russia, Andres and Melido from Dominican Republic, Pilar from Spain, and Georgy from Georgia. It's taken a bit of getting used to, to teach teenagers as they can get a bit rowdy/restless/un-motivated at times, but my kids always have something interesting to say and definitely keep me on my toes.

And there's my dorm boys, and they rock my world. I only have 7 to look after, and share this responsibility with another teacher, Angel who comes from Greece. In our dorm, "Tudor Wing", we have Tomihiko and Hisatomo from Japan, Fayez and Suliman from Saudi Arabia, Vladimir from Russia, Inaki from Spain, and Marzio from Italy. They're all either 16 or 17 and get along very well. They're actually very well-behaved, and although some get a bit messy at times, are a fun, lively, friendly group who I enjoy chatting with.

A funny story for you about my boys. So they're the second-oldest group on the campus, and they're all kinda jocky/popular macho superstars. Not in a bad way, but they're pretty confident about themselves, and most of them are star players on the school's soccer team as well. Well, we had an interesting bonding moment together the first week in the dorms...

Fayez approached me one night just before check-in, and was really concerned about something in the bathroom, something that was bothering him greatly... He said that earlier that morning he was in the bathroom and saw a big spider on the ceiling, and apparently it was looking at him and he was so freaked about it that he couldn't pee and had to leave the bathroom. I told him that it was likely gone now, and not to worry. He said it was still in there, so together we went into their bathroom to check it out. Well we found the spider, and I have to say DAMN it was pretty big! Hell I wouldn't wanna pee next to that thing either!

At this point the 3 other boys he shares a room with (Tomo, Marzio, and Inaki) had joined us in the spider crusade, and we didn't know what to do about it. All 4 of them were freaked out by the thing, and I sure as hell didn't wanna touch it, so how were we gonna get rid of it? Suddenly Marzio suggested we use "the hoover", and that we could suck it up to get rid of it! Great idea! This turned out to be quite a project, and it took the coordinated efforts of all 4 of them to make it work. They got out the vaccuum, hooked up the longest hose possible (cause in their words, "we need protection!"), and then two of them held the hose as close to the spider as they were willing to get, one held up the vaccuum cause the spider was up high in the corner and the hose wasn't long enough, and the fourth took care of the cord and the turning-on of the vaccuum. On a count of 3 (dictated by me who was directing/guiding this from a safe distance) they turned on the hoover and sucked up the giant spider. They all practically screamed when the spider flew into the hose, and they then insisted that we "leave the hoover on for at least 2 minutes, so the spider doesn't come back out and seek revenge!" It was very hilarious to see 4 of my "macho boys" get all freaked out about the spider.

A week later we had a sequel to this spider-ridding event. I was in my room and could hear this fuss coming from the bathroom, and then I heard the vaccuum come on. I went in to check it out, and found the four of them at it again, this time with the hose and half the vaccuum outside the window! Wondering what was going on now, they explained that they had found more spiders, and not only that, had discovered their source. Apparently outside the bathroom window was "a lot of spider houses!" (they didn't know the word for 'web') and they were dead-set on destroying every last one of them on the walls and under the roof's eaves to prevent future arachnid intrusions. And once again, upon completion, they insisted on keeping the vaccuum turned on for a while to prevent escape. Actually this time I think they opted to vaccuum their entire bedroom floor, so as to "bury the spiders with dirt!" Too funny!!

So, as you can see, it's certainly been a fun-filled, action-packed full full schedule! And I haven't even told you the best news yet! I've been selected as one of only 3 teachers to chaperone a field trip to PARIS!!! Each summer they have 3 bigger field trips - one to Wales, one to Edinburgh, and one to Paris. All the teachers get to bid on a trip and submit an application, and I was absolutely determined to get the Paris trip! I knew I'd have stiff competition, as there's like 30 teachers and only 8 are chosen altogether for the trips. My colleague and buddy here Andrea and I decided to join forces and submit our applications together, and included a Top Ten Reasons why they should choose us. Well our tactic worked as we were both chosen! Andrea and I, and another cool teacher Tim, will lead 26 kids on a four-day, all-expenses paid trip to the City of Lights! And I couldn't be more stoked about it!!! We leave tomorrow morning, and are taking the Eurostar from London into Paris. We've put together an awesome itinerary, and will be taking in all the big sights, yet will still leave free time for the kids (and for us!) It's gonna be a blast, and I still can't believe that I'll be getting paid to travel to Paris!!! WOW! How lucky am I!!!

Phew! I feel exhausted just talking about my schedule/life here! So, I apologize for being so out of touch lately, but now you can see why. But know that things are good here, England and TASIS continue to treat me well, and stay tuned for a full report from Paris!

All About England

2007-06-20T22:02:00.000+02:00

A big "'ELLO!" out to all my peeps from here in jolly ole England!

So I finally made it! I'm here in England, I'm working, and I'm legal. It's amazing! :-)

I had a busy last weekend, packing up all my belongings (god I have too many clothes - yet still feel the need to shop) and spending time with as many friends as possible. We hit up Lucerna one last time, had both drinks and a brunch at Radost, went out to Banditos for Carolyn's b-day, and I said all my goodbyes to Prague.

I was feeling pretty down about leaving. Prague certainly hasn't been an easy experience overall and has thrown me in a lot of stressful situations, but I've survived them all and the city does have quite the magic spell. It's beautiful beyond words, and there's been many a moment where I've tried to stop and just 'soak it in' for a few seconds, to try and appreciate what a gorgeous place I live in. Living in Prague was a lifelong dream accomplished, and I feel so very lucky to have been there the last nine and a half months. My how time flies, eh? But, all good things must come to an end, and it's time to move on. So I do feel sad to leave, but it feels right. I feel confident in my decision to move on, even if I don't exactly know where I'm gonna be after the summer...

I've been having serious doubts about Barcelona lately. I have absolutely no doubt that I'd love the city and have a blast, but I'm just not so sure if it's the wisest decision financially. The city is quite expensive to live in, and it's near-impossible for non-EUers to get a work visa. You can work under the table, but you're not guaranteed anything then. If the main reason why I'm leaving Prague is because of financial struggles, then I gotta be sure that the next place I land isn't going to put me in a similarly tight situation. I haven't ruled the city out yet, but I gotta do some more research before I lock that city in as my target.

But hey, that's on the other side of summer, and these days I'm All About England. My new plan is actually to not plan at all. The last month or so I've been such a stresspuppy trying to map out my life, and plan my next 365 days in great detail. It's stupid as it's constantly changing and evolving and there's no need to stress myself out so much. Things always have a way of working out, and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. I'm just gonna enjoy my summer, and see where I'm at at the end of the program. I'll take stock of my options and feelings then (well maybe I'll suss out a few options over the summer, but nothing too serious) and just go from there. A few weeks ago I felt freaked out not knowing exactly where I was gonna be post-TASIS. Now it feels very free and liberating. So yeah I'm turning off that silly part of my brain and for the summer I'm just gonna enjoy "the now" and worry about tomorrow, well...tomorrow!

I'm writing this post from my cute little apartment here at TASIS in Thorpe, and I absolutely love it here. Laurie and I flew in Monday afternoon and were greeted at Heathrow by a member of staff. The school is only 20 minutes or so from the airport, but feels a world away from the hustle and bustle of London - and the world's busiest airport.

The TASIS campus is a clean, green beautiful place. It's a boarding school set among a lush campus comprised of old brick buildings, meandering pebble paths, enormous trees, huge green lawns, and ponds and flower gardens. There must be at least 2 dozen buildings that make up the campus, and it's located right in Thorpe Village - a tiny little place here in Surrey.

I was brought to my apartment and I love it. I've got my own little fully-equipped kitchen, private bathroom, (with a proper shower box with a showerhead high enough even I can stand under it,) a living room, and a tiny little bedroom. It's not a huge space, but I haven't had my *own* living quarters since I lived in Korea and I'm pretty excited about it. I live in Tudor Wing which is not far from the main building with the Dining Hall (it's good to be close to the food!) The apartment is attached to the dorm that I'll be supervising but I have my own entrance. This summer I'll have 7 boys that I'll be looking after, and they'll have their own rooms in the dorm just down the hall from me.

I'm really excited about this new job. I've met almost all of my new colleagues now, and everyone's super friendly. Most of the crew is from the States, but there's at least a half dozen or so of us from Canada. It seems that like 90% of the staff is new, so it's good to know that we're all in the same boat together. The trainers and directors have all been super nice and helpful. It's a very relaxed place, yet very professional. Besides providing me with my own living quarters for free, I'm also fed all my meals, and they even have laundry service for the staff. I've never felt so welcome at a new job. They really treat their teachers and counsellors well, and it's nice to feel really valued at a place of work. We had our first full day of training today, and even though there's been a lot of information thrown our way it doesn't seem all that overwhelming. Here's how my summer's gonna look:

I'll be teaching three blocks of classes each morning - 2 before lunch and 1 after. I don't know who my kids are yet, but I'll be teaching the Advanced Level Middleschoolers, so my kids will be near fluent and between the ages of 11 and 14. In the afternoons the kids all have sports and outdoor activities, and us teachers will help out with that too. Evenings are spent relaxing or playing games, and the weekends are for field trips. It's going to be a full week, every week, with pretty much the whole day filled up, but we do have Sundays free (for the most part) and the job actually seems fun (especially the travelling bits!) so I really don't mind that the school pretty much owns my ass for the next 8 weeks, haha! We have training all this week, and the kids start to arrive on Saturday. Monday's our first day of classes and I already get the feeling that this summer is gonna just fly on by! I don't think I'll have that much time to write in here, but I'll try to stay relatively updated (even though I'm still behind on my spring adventures in Prague!) I'll post up some pics soon too of the campus.

We had the full day free yesterday so 5 of us went into London for the day to hang out. Just up the road from TASIS is a train station where from there we can get into Central London (Waterloo) in just 40 minutes. I'm not so far from the city after all!

Yesterday was a gloriously sunny afternoon and we spent the whole day just wandering around. And, once again, I fell head over heels in love with the city. There's a magic to London that I've never felt elsewhere. There's a real pulse, an energy, and electric current that flows through that city from top to bottom. Whenever I'm in London I feel that I'm truly at the centre of civilization, like the whole world revolves around this one megacity. It's an urban centre of gravity that the whole planet is captivated by. You just have to stand and feel the spinning around you. It's thrilling and mesmerizing and intoxicating and liberating. Even as a teenager I felt a freedom in London that I never had before. London to me is never overwhelming. It may be ginormous and sometimes a bit confusing to navigate, but I never feel lost, never feel nervous. I always feel at home in London even though I've never actually lived here. I felt this enamouration when I first touched down in the British capital 11 years ago, and it's still there today. London will always have a very special place in my heart, no matter where I go, and I'm so excited to get to know this city even better over the next two months.

Yesterday's afternoon spent wandering around the busy streets of London, and today's relatively relaxed schedule, very much is the calm before the storm. From here on out my life gets crazy. Training goes into full force, the kids will be arriving from every corner of the globe in just 3 days, and soon enough we'll all be neck-deep in schedules that will fill our whole days. I'm going to enjoy this momentary calmness as I know it's very fleeting. I'm really happy to be here at TASIS, and England feels really, really good right now. This is the happiest I've been in quite a long time, and I'm looking forward to this whole new adventure. Chip chip cheerio, indeed!

Embassies and Eateries

2007-06-12T17:58:00.001+02:00

The ordeal is over!!! At long last!!! And I have good news to report. No, edit that, I have fanfuckingtastic news to report!

I GOT MY VISA!!!

Yes, finally, Scotty has been given the green light to go and work in England. GOD it's been a long time coming, eh? I had a feeling it was going to work out, but even so it's been one helluva emotional rollercoaster the last few weeks. It was making it impossible to plan anything for my future beyond June 18th, and we all know what an obsessive planner Scotty is...

On Monday I had my appointment with the British Embassy and I gladly unloaded my monster stack of documents upon arrival. The visa-obtaining process didn't go quite as I had imagined it would... I had thought that I'd be meeting an actual person who'd look over my docs with me and ask me questions, sorta semi-interview style. Nope, that's far too personal for the Brits! Instead they just wanted my papers and told me to come back at 3pm. I was a bit surprised by this. It was like "Thanks, I'd love to wait a bit longer, draw out the process a few more hours, why don't you!!!???" Nothing like permanent suspense to keep a boy in wonder about his own future. Or drive him over the edge of mental sanity.

So I went back home for a bit and then had lunch with my students who wanted to take me out since this is my last week of teaching. On a side note from all the above stuff, this lunch turned out to be quite a lot of fun. My students were a trio of guys who work for CSOB bank. I teach them every Wednesday and Friday at the oh-so lovely hour of 7:30am and they're a really nice group of fellas. Well it was their idea to "go somewhere American" for lunch as they often ask me about North American culture (the "North" often just gets dropped and I can look beyond my Canadian over-sensitivity with this, as it happens all the time.) Fearing that they'd choose something fastfoody like McDonald's or KFC or Subway I was pleased when they picked out another American eatery - TGI Friday's.

I have a strange relationship with Friday's. Prior to my stint in Korea, I had only ever eaten at one once (in Metropolis at Metrotown in Burnaby) and it was a terrible meal. I believe I ate there with Barb and Amy before we went to see Alanis Morissetter perform in her "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie" Tour sometime around 1999... Anyway I digress... When I lived in Korea Friday's was a regular hangout - a bit of a haven of Western Culture, some salvation from normal life there which is All Korean Food - All The Time!!! Addie and I especially used to have dinner there after work and bitch out our stressful Preschoolers (god bless those little Parrots, the darlings, though...) The food was never *great* at Friday's at LaFesta but it was familiar and wasn't covered in kimchi or spicy red pepper sauce so it was therefore an ideal choice for us expats who were occasionally homesick for recognizable edibles.

Well there's two TGI Friday's in Prague and every now and then I go there with Carolyn and Laurie for greasy food and too-many Long Island Iced Teas. Again, not the best food, but sometimes, goddammit, a boy just wants a plate of fried mozzarella and a tower of fajitas and you can't blame him for that, now can you?

Lunch at Friday's with the CSOB boys turned out to be a highly entertaining experience for me. None of them had ever been to one before, and despite the fact that they've all travelled a fair bit (including George who was just in Orlando a month ago) they have very little experience with "American food." You should've seen their curious and delighted faces over the paper placemats alone (which had a few pics of about a dozen of their more famous dishes.) I was flooded with questions about what the food was and how it was prepared and cooked. Given that I've never worked in a Friday's kitchen, or in any kitchen for that matter, a lot of it I just had to guesstimate.

When the actual menu came it was like kids at Christmas. Pages and pages of food that you'd NEVER see in a Czech restaurant. So many inquiries ensued. "How do you say.... (pointing to "quesadilla.") .... "What's a strip?" (pointing to the steak) ... "What does "glazed" mean? "Do I need to order french fries with this?" ... "If I order soup will it come first like in Czech restaurants?" ... "Is that a potato?" (pointing to fried mozzarella sticks) ... "Is that made from real potatoes?" (pointing to the potato skins) ... "Is that real meat or like McDonald's meat? Will it be big?" (pointing to the burgers) ... "What's a...taco...?" .... "In Canada do you eat ketchup too?" ... "What's typical for Canadian food?"

That question was sadly a bit difficult for me to answer at first, but after a few seconds of pondering I came up with the only truly Canadian dish that I know of - poutine. I told them what it was, which was quite a hard concept for them to grasp as I first had to explain what gravy was and I don't think my description sounded very appetizing... "When you cook a large piece of meat, for example pork or turkey, you use the juices, the liquids from the meat to make a sauce...it's thick...and brown...and very fatty..." LOL I tried to convince them that poutine is actually crazy delicious but again I think I fell short on this mark. Sorry fellow Canucks, I tried!

When the food came they were all quite surprised at what was on their plate. Ludek had the fajita tower and it really is indeed quite the tower of food. Petr had a burger with fries and was rather unsure of what condiments he should add. And despite the fact that 99% of Czechs strongly dislike anything even remotely spicy, he ate *all* the jalapenos on his burger. "Ohhh...those green peppers were a little spicy!" was his response.

And then George had this huge mega burger, complete with a mound of ginormous onion rings on top of the patty. The burger was so big that he really didn't know what to do with it. I told him to 'just pick it up and put it in your mouth' but I guess it really was too intimidating, so out came the fork and knife. I don't think I've seen someone above the age of 9 eat a burger that way. LOL For whatever reason, George and Petr, despite both ordering burgers and fries ("Typical American food!! Right Scott!!!" they commented excitedly,) they had different kinds of fries and hamburger buns and this prompted a lot of comparing.

Heinz Ketchup and French's Mustard was on the table and I told them that Heinz was owned by Al Gore's wife's family. This came as a huge surprise to them, and then sparked a debate as to whether or not these particular bottles of ketchup and mustard were made in America and then shipped over, or processed somewhere in Europe using European tomatoes and...mustard seed or whatever. I don't know if a conclusion was reached. One thing's for sure - a meal at TGI Friday's has never felt like such a...cultural experience...as it did this time! Haha!

Anyways after lunch I went back to the Embassy and was awarded with my visa after a short wait. They only asked me a few questions about my first visa application and then went in the back to print it up. My passport now has a very lovely UK working holidaymaker visa inside (a full-page! and with my photo melted in!) and I'm THRILLED to know that next week when I fly to London it'll be for a job that's waiting for me, and not just to wander around as a sad, lost puppy! Yah!! I knew my determination would work out!

I owe extra special credit to Jenn Potts for pointing me in the direction of this visa. Without her this wouldn't have been possible. I owe her big. Like *really big.* Like she can totally claim my first three children kinda deal. Or the water bottle that Robbie Williams drank out of that I stole from his Vancouver concert in 1999. Okay I haven't actually seen that bottle in years and years and fear it's been lost in all my moves. But if I still knew where it was she could have it. Or maybe just look at it. Yeah, looking at it should be enough. That's worth about the same as my first three kids I father, right? Right???

The Golden Carrot

2007-06-04T15:15:00.000+02:00

So I'm sure you're all wondering what the hell's going on with my life and all of this visa crap. Well, time for a brief update as D-Day (Decision Day) has come and gone already, hasn't it?

Our appeal has been denied.

Despite a lot of effort from the school to try and 'sell me' to Immigration, they just wouldn't bite at our bait. This did not come as a huge surprise, as apparently the Home Office almost never retracts their initial decisions.

My friend Jenn is a case in point example. She's a real teacher who's been living and working in the UK for a few years now and has had her own share of visa woes. She applied for a similar work permit as I did and despite already having been working for a school for a while she was also denied. She fought the decision with an appeal, waited 6 weeks, and was still denied, even though she had the bloody Ministry of Education fighting for her case! And to add insult to injury, the UK is currently experiencing a major teacher shortage! WTF!? For a country that's supposed so desperate for teachers that they're actively recruiting in Canada and the US, they sure don't make it easy to work there! Well, at least in hearing Jenn's experience I know not to take it personally.

On top of being able to commiserate our UK visa struggles together, Jenn has proven to be a wealth of information and has lined herself up to be the ultimate lifesaver. She's suggested that I apply for another kind of visa - a Working Holidaymaker - and this just may be the ticket needed. She's back in Canada applying for the same sort of visa herself and it's looking to be relatively easy to get. It's a visa that allows one to work/travel/stay in the UK at *any job* for up to two years. You can apply for it online and it can be processed fairly quickly. Sounds like just what I need!!

I went to the website and completed the monster online application, and now have an appointment with the British Embassy here in Prague for Monday, June 11th. I've been in contact with the Embassy, and provided that I can bring all the necessary documentation they ask for, I can get this visa on that same day! It's a good stack of paperwork that I'll need to bring in, but it's all manageable and I shouldn't have any major difficulties. So...it looks like I may finally be getting my visa after all!

*knock on wood*

But one thing's for sure, the last 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster! It's been a very stressful experience, and I feel that I've been pulled back and forth so many times. England's off. Okay England's back on. Nope, it really is off. Oh, there's some hope, it's back on again. Argh!!! I feel like it's been this ever-elusive Golden Carrot dangling in front of my face, just barely out of grasp, and whenever I reach to grab it, it pulls away. I jump forward again but once more Mr. Carrot escapes again. Over and over again. FRUSTRATING!

But hey I'm a pretty determined fellow and have not given up on England. Despite the fact that she doesn't seem to want me in, I WILL work in that country this summer! LOL Things do seem to be looking up for this other visa. Should that fall out too, then I'll be on a plane heading back for Thunder Bay in 2 weeks. Hopefully I won't though. NOT that I don't want to see my friends and family back in T-dot B-dot, but I really do need this England job, financially. It's my ticket to Life Beyond Summer, whether that be Barcelona or...wherever I end up.

So there ya go. Feeling a bit confused? Me too. But like I said, it's looking good (for once) and I expect it all to go to plan. Two weeks today I should be in the UK already! God!! ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT IN PRAGUE!!! How sad is that?

A Whole Lotta News

2007-05-16T10:23:00.000+02:00

Wow. The last week and a half has been rather eventful, with a lot of big decisions being made, and a lot of monkey wrenches being thrown into the mix. My future, at the moment, is all up in the air, and I have no idea how it's all gonna pan out. You better be sitting down (well of course you are, I mean who reads a blog while standing?) cause some of what you are about to read may come as a shock.

I've decided to leave Prague.

(waits patiently for everyone to pick their jaw up off the ground.)

So, since I was leaving for the summer anyway (well, maybe, sorta, possibly - more on that in later on...) I've decided not to return to the Czech Republic in the fall. Instead, I've decided this fall to move to BARCELONA!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*background murmurs...* "Did he just say he's moving to SPAIN???" ..."He's gonna move to yet another country AGAIN!?"..."Barcelona!? Where the eff did that idea come from?!?"..."Wasn't it his BIG DREAM to live in PRAGUE for a few years???"

Whoa, simmer down, peeps. I know you're all aghast and excited. I've got a lot of explaining to do...

You may recall that before coming here I was planning on living in Prague for 2-3 years...

(everyone collectively and feverishly nods their heads)

Well, yeah that was the plan, but sometimes life has other things in store, and you gotta be flexible to change, especially as a foreigner living overseas. Trust me when I say that this decision did not come lightly. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching over the last few months, a lot of deep thinking and pondering, and have sadly come to the conclusion that I just can't afford to stay in Prague any longer. I love the city, I have a great life here - wonderful friends, a fab flat, good students - and really do enjoy living here, but the truth comes down to the fact that the money here is SHITE. My income here is the lowest that I've ever had, at any job, at any period in my life. It really is abysmal.

Yes, Prague is a relatively inexpensive place to live, especially in a European context as the cost of living here is dramatically lower than its Western neighbours. However, I have financial commitments back home (HELLO student loans) that I attempt to make monthly payments on. My income here is fairly low as it is, even for Czech standards (granted I'm still able to survive here) but it's near impossible to put anything away as savings. And when I am able to put a little money aside to send back home, the exchange rate just slaughters it. The Czech crown just doesn't go very far at all on the world market, and with the Canadian dollar being stronger than ever, I just can't keep up.

It's also pretty much impossible to do any travel here in Europe on this income. In the 8 months I've been here I've been able to see a lot of the Czech Republic, and have had two weekend trips away - to Berlin and Vienna - but each of those trips nearly broke the bank, and it's rather depressing to be finally here in Europe and not really able to see much of it. We all know how much Scotty loves to travel, and to be limited so much is like suffocating my soul. (No, I'm not dramatic at all.) Scotty needs to be a free man, and unfortunately we live in a world where a lot of the time it's only finances that permit such desired freedom. *sigh*

So, on to Barcelona! Why Barcelona you may ask? Well it's a city that I've always had it in the back of my mind as a possibility should I ever need another adventure post-Praha. Well 'post-Praha' has happened a lot sooner than I imagined it would, and so now Barcelona's been fast-forwarded up to this fall. I've never been there before, but have only heard great things about it. Anyone I've ever spoken with who's been there just raves about how much they loved it. Let's just say Barcelona's got a lot of eager beaver ambassadors/salespeople scattered around the world promoting the place!

And what's NOT to love? Hot sunny weather to keep you tanned year round, splendid beaches kissing the liquid bliss known as The Mediterranean, a treasure trove of architecture to nourish the soul, from the atmospheric Gothic Quarter to the hustle and bustle of Las Ramblas to the ever-under-construction sky-scraping eye-popping La Sagrada Familia, art galleries and museums famed the world over (Picasso and Gaudi and Dali! Oh my!), to a heart-thumping blood-pumping dancefloor-jumping nightlife that can keep pace with any city out there, to internationally-renowned cuisine (tapas, sangria, seafood, wine...mmm...) that is so delicious and inventive even neighbouring Cuisine King France is taking notice, to the most head-turning gorgeous local gene pool full that the gods above ever decided to bestow upon a people. HOLA!!!

It's all about fun, fashion, flavours, fiestas, fantasy, and any other enjoyable F-word that you can think of (wink wink!) This is a city made for The Hedonist's Life. Clearly Scotty belongs here!

I'm hoping to move there this September, and yes to teach again. And it seems like I've been able to recruit Oscar, my best buddy here in Prague, to return to his native Espana with me, so already I'm working on building my Catalunya Social Network! I know it won't be as easy to find a job there as it was in Prague (in Spain they often prefer to hire EU nationals) but I've got a lot of experience, and with my charms and this smile, who can say no? ;-) And hey any job I do get, at least I'll be making euros, which is a real proper currency (unlike the local one here which is worth about as much as Monopoly money) and so I should be able to save up a bit more.

So with this big piece of really fantastic news (anyone interested in a free place to stay with Yours Truly in Barcelona?) I do have some bad news to share as well. Yes, life likes to keep you balanced and grounded, doesn't it?

I just found out last Friday that my application for a UK permit has been denied. No work permit = no summer job in England. I found out via an email from TASIS, who are as shocked as I am about it. Apparently, according to the UK Home Office who issues work visas, I don't have enough teaching experience to receive a permit as a teacher. WTF?!? This is absolute bullshit, as I have twice as much teaching experience as my good friend Laurie, who's already been given a permit to teach there this summer. It doesn't make sense at all!

The news hit me hard, as I had planned my whole summer around this job - a teaching experience that I was really looking forward to, and also a financially-lucrative opportunity that would pay for my travel to/nest-egg in Barcelona. Suddenly everything was in jeopardy. I had already told my school here that I'd be leaving in mid-June, has told my flatmates that I'd be moving out in a month, and even already bought my plane ticket to London. The wheels had already been well put into motion for a summer in England, and now it's suddenly screeched to a halt. What am I going to do now?

Luckily, there's some hope on the horizon. TASIS has already filed an appeal and is hoping to change their minds and reverse their decision. Unfortunately, with the way that government bureaucracy works, the appeal won't be reviewed until May 31st. It will be a rather last-minute decision as I'm meant to fly to England on June 18th! Please keep your fingers crossed for me! I'm really hoping that they'll give me a permit in the end!!

But I've got a few other options as well that I'm keeping primed should England officially and forever fall through. When I applied for TASIS England I had also applied for the TASIS in Switzerland. I've been recently informed that they still have one position open, but at the moment there's other candidates that are being considered before me. The Director there seems like a real dick, but the job would be great so if they offer it to me you can bet I'll jump at it.

And should both England and Switzerland not work out, there's yet another option still. My lovely amazing wonderfully kind and generous parents have offered me a plane ticket home to Thunder Bay if I want it. I could come home for the summer, maybe try and get rehired at Starbucks, hang out with all my much-missed family and friends, and then fly straight to Barcelona in the fall. Summer is the best time of year to be in Thunder Bay, and it would be nice to spend some time at camp (the family cottage) too. It would be a fun summer for sure, even though it would be a lot less financially-rewarding than working in Europe.

Regardless of what happens, all the options and outcomes are good, as my wise mother has helped me to realize. So who knows where I'm gonna end up this June! England? Switzerland? Thunder Bay? Your guess is a good as mine...

Yes, never a dull moment in this boy's life!! :-p

An Increase of Boobage

2007-05-14T21:26:00.001+02:00

Jo gets cozy with a less-than-comfy statue at Trojska Zamek.

Another month, another guest. The Very Lovely Joanna breezed into Prague for 10 lovely days in mid-April, and sparked off a whole other wave of guests for this Month Of Spring.

Jo's not a newbie to this blog - you'll remember her as the much-loved and adored 'Girl With The Nice Rack' from my CELTA days last fall. In fact, the first pic I ever published on here was me with JoJo, tits out in full glory. And who could forget the scandalous Hallowe'en pics, with Jo as the Tawdry Bohemian Maiden in much need of a big spanking! Oh the fond memories...

Sadly Jo left us Prague Crew last November and has been on a EuroTour ever since. She had a brief teaching stint in Moscow and has since landed in the UK where she wanders like a busty gypsy in London. Soon she'll be off for a summer in France and then to Poland in the fall (man this girl's giving me a run for my money in the Who Can Rack Up More Passport Stamps? Contest!) In between giving her girls some sun in as many European countries as possible, Jo blessed us with a return to The Prague. Yah! We decided to make her return a surprise for the others so we had a good time surprising the rest of the gang one by one.

Jo's visit flew by in a heartbeat - I don't even know where all the time went. We had some nights out with drinkies, including the requisite old stomping grounds of Radost, had more than a few dinners out, Jo and I spent an afternoon at Trojska Zamek, and the gang had a very lovely sunny Sunday picnic at Petrin. She sure was lucky with the weather while here!

It was great to have her back, and because of Jo's presence I got to see a lot more of the ol' CELTA gang, who don't hang out as much as we used to. I had suspicions before but Jo's visit totally confirmed it - Jo was the glue that bound out little gang together. You see, last fall while the rest of us ran around like chickens with our heads cut off looking for work and places to live, Jo lived it up in The High Life, out partying nightly til dawn, bouncing between hostels and beds wherever she could (although mostly at Greg & Laurie's), and generally bringing smiles and sunshine wherever she went. Not one to be slowed down by budgetary constraints or daily hangovers, (remember "Jo's Bad Night Out"?) she was our Social Queen. Wherever Jo was, there was sure to be a good time. And some truly fab Boob Factor going on. Her Freedom and Lust For Life (or was it just good ol' fashioned Lust?) ensured that the CELTA Crew always had some social get-together to attend. Once she left we all kinda settled into our daily routines. Oh of course we all still hang out, but just not as frequently or as feverishly as when Jo was around. And none of the girls who stayed are nearly as generous with showing off their chesty assets as Miss JoJo was!

"Jo! Don't leave!" Oh Jo, how do I love thee! :-)

Check out the pics below, when Jo and I wandered around Trojska Zamek, and also from the Petrin Picnic. And of course what would a Night Out With Jo be like without some raunch? She twisted my rubber arm to get me to take some dirty pics, and the following ensued.

One of the fountains found in the garden.

Trojska Zamek - a magnificent palace in Prague's suburbia!

Scotty chills on the grand staircase.

One of the beefy statues holding up the palace's balcony.

Man I'd love to have a bod like that! ;-)

The Petrin Picnic! Greg looking (as usual) not unlike a serial killer. Hey at least he's a musical serial killer! ;-)

"Essence...of Spring!" Sonja's awfully patient with Scotty's photography antics!

Christina all smiles in the park.

The Star Herself enjoying all the attention.

Chico Latino Oscar heats up the Spanish Hunk Factor at Petrin.

The perfect way to spend a sunny Sunday afternoon.

CELTA gang reunites! Laurie, Scotty, Al, Jo, and Kim!

Jo insists on ramming her ample cleavage onto my unsuspecting innocent body. (and wow I am quite a bit taller than Jo!)

Both Jo and Scotty look a bit too comfortable in this position!

"What do you mean? This is how we always sit and chat on the sofa!"

Jo's been a naughty naughty girl and needs a good firm spank!

Apparently so do I!

Grand Vienna

2007-04-25T15:01:00.000+02:00

Rok & Scotty hanging out in Vienna.

As much as I would have truly, deeply, thoroughly enjoyed journeying to some random local Czech village to participate in the greatest of all holiday traditions ever, I had plans of my own. They sadly didn't involve any spanking, but they did involve a lot of gorgeous architecture, copious amounts of glorious sunshine in parks and gardens, and some pretty cute company.

I had a four-day weekend for Easter, and so I travelled down to Vienna to meet my good friend Rok who hails from Slovenia. Besides getting to enjoy some Western comforts that I've been without for a long time (a real hotel room, sushi, and STARBUCKS,) I got to explore a lot of the Austrian capital in a short amount of time.

Vienna has got to be one of the prettiest cities in Europe, as she certainly is a grand ol' dame. Vienna is a very obviously wealthy city, and from first sight one can tell that it always has been a wealthy city. (But hey I guess that's what being the centre of a huge empire that sucked in all the money and pretty stuff from all corners of Central Europe will do to a city!)

Everything is rich and grand and opulent and designed specifically to impress to the max. From top to bottom the city is ornate and ginormous - grand boulevards, massive palaces and royal living spaces, lush gardens and clean streets, more Luxenbourg-size museums than you can count, and fabulous restaurants and cafes everywhere. There's a lot of "oh wow's" happening when you explore the city, and despite it's size at more than a million and a half the city feels calm, relaxed, and manageable. In fact, maybe a little too calm, relaxed, and manageable.

Although I did really enjoy Vienna, I have to say that it was rather sleepy for a major European capital. This is especially true when the sun goes down. If Vienna has any nightlife to speak of, Rok and I were unable to find it. The one night we did attempt to 'go out on the town' was met with a meager selection of less-than-inviting pubs, all of which seemed to lack any real atmosphere or party-vibe. Where do all the young people hang out in this city?

And as impressive as all the palaces and museums are, one can only see so many of each before they start to crave something else. You can't do all palace/all museum/all day/everyday without experiencing some "Big Opulent Building Fatigue". Vienna's fine for a couple of days, but after that you start to feel a bit bored. And I definitely wouldn't want to live here. Unless I was 65 and retired or something, but even then...

Unlike Prague or Berlin, Vienna just seems to be lacking that energetic vibe that one feels when you're in a major city. As Rok put it, you can feel that the city has already peaked (in it's capital of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire days) and has since declined. It's still an important city, but it ain't what it used to be. As mentioned above, Vienna is a city was specifically designed to look grandiose and impressive. It was well-planned with a purpose in mind. In comparison, Prague feels much more 'organic', it's a beautiful city that just sorta 'happened' along the way. It grew in a more natural way and although it's also full of some impressive monuments itself, it doesn't have the 'mega royal capital' feel that Vienna does. I prefer Prague's style instead - it's gorgeous without ever having really tried to be so.

That being said, Vienna is consistently ranked in the top five for World's Most Livable Cities lists, (guess who's number one - Vancouver of course!) and does offer a very high quality of life for its residents. Still, having a high quality of life perhaps equals to one that's a bit boring...? (Well, in Vienna's case anyway, certainly not in Vancouver!) Something else that is interesting about Vienna is that it's one of the only major European cities that is actually not growing. So stable is its population that it's barely changed at all since the 1950's. Quite unusual from an urban planning/demographic point of view.

Rok and I were blessed with some really bright warm weather the whole weekend, which worked out well for all the gardens and parks we saw. You can see in the pictures below how nice and blue the skies were! We ate really good food, and enjoyed a whole lot of fantastic coffee (both Starbucks, and in the traditional Viennese cafes as well.) Once again it was a little bit excrutiating being in the EuroZone, where the price of a coffee is equivalent to the GDP of say, Malawi or something, but luckily it was just a short trip.

All in all, I thought Vienna was a bit sleepy but very beautiful, and one definitely worth visiting. Don't stay too long though, and don't plan on rockin' out partying everynight, doing lines of coke off the backsides of cheap hookers in run-down back-alley bars, if that's your thing. (You've got Amsterdam for that!) ;-) I've a whole whack of photos of the pretty Austrian capital below. Check 'em out!

One of the palaces used by the Hapsburgs.

Horse & Carriage Ride = Guaranteed Tourist Trap!

Big and beautiful.

Glorious!

St. Stephen's Cathedral in the heart of Vienna.

Check out the cathedral's cool roof!

I like the contrast here of the new with the old.

Some statue I found tucked into a quiet corner behind a church.

The odd and unusual Kunsthaus - a block of apartments redone by a creative architect.

Not sure if I'd like to live here, but the colours are pretty anyway!

He also liked to use chess board-like pieces as supports for this buildings and balconies.

Rok in front of the Kunsthistorisches Museum

Me in front of it's exact twin - the Natural History Museum.

The funky-looking Modern Art Museum inside of the Museumquartier.

In one of the tunnels out of the u-bahn (subway) they had all these cool digital counters racking up the numbers for various stats. Here's the current world population - it was a bit scary to watch it grow by one every second....

And here's the amount of people in Vienna who are in love (supposedly!) This number kept jumping up and down as people fell in (and out of ) love...

Some interesting street graffiti outside the u-bahn. Rok and I crossed the line in eager anticipation, yet both felt the same. Hmmm....

Vienna at night is a real treat for the eyes, as all the major monuments are brightly lit up.

Rok outside the Scholl Schunbrunn.

Wow this Schunbrunn is one huge palace!!

And with Versailles-like beautiful gardens in the back too!

Rok takes a (brief) moment on the grass to enjoy the view of the palace ground and city skyline.

Scotty with the palace behind.

Our moment of peace was soon shattered as The Grass Nazi came around to shoo the 200 or so people resting on the grass. He shouted angrily and waved his little sign around in fury. Man, talk about a party-pooper!

The gorgeous Belvedere - once a palace and now a massive art museum with some world-famous pieces, including Klimt's Judith, and The Kiss.

Wow! Check out that skyline! (or lackthereof?)

A coffee and cheesecake at a traditional Viennese cafe. Mmmm....

Happy Easter! Rok and I are given Easter eggs at the cafe.

Pretty daffodils in a city park.

Rok looking cute as a button in a park.

Better Than Chocolate

2007-04-25T14:21:00.000+02:00

Oh you gotta love those wacky Czech holiday traditions. They're fantastic! Devoted readers of the blog will remember me recounting the winter holiday season tale of Miklaus, the Santa-esque bearded man who travels to Prague with angel and devil in tow to delight/frighten/reward children. It was an interesting twist on a familiar holiday month, and one I greatly enjoyed observing.

Well there's a new holiday in town now, and he's even more hilarious than his December cousin - Easter!

The Czechs have gotta have the best holiday traditions ever, anywhere. Easter here is as much fun for the adults, if not more, than for the children. There's no Easter bunny to be spoken of (although chocolate Easter bunnies are sold in all of the metro stations) but once you hear of how Easter is celebrated you won't even miss the chocolate.

On Easter Monday it is tradition for all the boys in the village or town to gather up willow tree branches and fasten them into a whip. (Yes, you know where this is heading, let your imagination run wild now...) I imagine these whips are assembled perhaps a few days prior to the Monday, but I've been told that "seven or eight" branches are enough to make the best whip. Something thin yet firm, flexible yet with a real good *snap* in it. Along rivers is also apparently the best place to find these nubile willows. It's then fashionable to fasten a few pieces of torn colourful cloth to the end of this whip. Something to add a little pizazz, a little flair, a little 'chante chante' if you will, and make sure you tie that cloth on firmly as that whip's about to have a real busy day...

Oh yes, that whip will be busy indeed. Oh baby...

On Easter Monday morning the boys and men of the village go around and knock on each and every household door in town. If a man answers the door, then they demand to see the women of the house. These women must be presented, and when they are, they are spanked promptly and firmly, with zest and vigor, on their ripe rosy bottoms. Yes, you read correctly, they are SPANKED! SCORE!!!

And the best part of the deal is that not only can the women not refuse their annual beating, but rather than protest or resist or fight back, the women reward their spankers! For the children it's usually in the form of chocolate, but sweets won't do for the big boys, so instead they're given shots of alcohol. Yes, that's right, the women get spanked and then give the men a present! DOUBLE SCORE!!!

It's no surprise then, that after a few households (and a few shots,) the spankers become even more enthusiastic, and by the midday the men of the village are all completely drunk (and the children are running loops up the wall with all the sugar they've consumed.) Yes, it's great fun had by all. BY ALL.

Now there are a few variations of this tradition. In some places, the women are allowed to fight back after 12 noon, arming themselves most often with a bucket of cold water. So let me get this straight, in one single day one can enjoy chocolate, spanking, non-stop shots, and continuous water fights? Now *this* sounds like a party! Why aren't I Czech? Where can I sign up?

Back in the olden days the men had only basic whips, and if the woman they've just spanked fancies them, she'd rip a piece of her dress off and give it to the man, who'd then tie it to the end of his whip. The guy at the end of the day with the most strips on his whip would be like the Town Stud or something, and would have his pick of the ladies. And by then he'd be drunk and all the women would be randy from their festive beating so I imagine then it was really, indeed, good times had by all. DAMN.

This tradition still continues today, but sadly only in the smaller town and villages. In the bigger cities, and definitely in Prague, this is something you would not see. *sigh* My students warned me several times not to attempt to spank any random women on the streets of Prague, or I could be met with a slap/bigger beating/police involvement/deportation. *double sigh*

Now I don't know is this little Easter tradition takes place in any of the neighbouring Central European countries, but you have to admit that this is quite possibly the greatest holiday tradition in the history of mankind! (Right boys?) ;-)

Chip Chip Cheerio!

2007-04-19T12:01:00.000+02:00

My school pretty much shuts down for the summer, and since I can't afford to not work, I've been looking for a summer job over the last few months. And now I've found one - in England!

Yes, Scotty will be off to Great Britain for 8 weeks this summer to teach at a summer camp!

My good buddy here in Prague Laurie told me about the job, and I have to thank her for recommending me to the school. Laurie's worked at the school for three summers now, and likes it so much she's returning for a fourth. The school is called TASIS - The American School In Switzerland - and I'll be working at their England campus in Thorpe, Surrey, about an hour or so southwest of London. Right on!

And it sounds like such a great job!

The school caters to international students, and they're mostly in the 13-18 age range. I've never really taught teenagers before, so this will definitely be a new experience for me. It sounds like such a great program and that it will be a lot of fun. The kids have English lessons in the morning until lunch time and then have sports and games in the afternoon. I've been hired as one of the ESL Teachers so I'll have my own class all morning long, and will help out with some of the afternoon activities. Evenings are spent either playing games/contests/trivia shows/school dances, or travelling to the nearby mall or cinema with the kids.

And every weekend we get to chaperone the kids on field trips around London! The British Museum, London Eye, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, London Aquarium and many more big sites are all a part of our weekend agendas. We also take the kids to a theatre performance in the city each weekend too! Wow!

And then there's the bigger field trips! Four times per summer a few select teachers will accompany the kids on bigger 3/4-day trips. This year's destinations supposedly are Oxford/Cambridge, Brighton, Wales, and PARIS! You can bet that I'll be working my charm to the max to get in on that Paris Trip!! How cool would that be!?

On top of all this, the school gives me free accomodation and food, pays for my plane ticket there and back, and gives me a rather healthy salary as well. What a sweet job! I'm really looking forward to the experience. It'll help round out my teaching skills, I'll get to meet staff and students from all over, see a bit of England, and earn good money while doing it. Pity it's only for 8 weeks! I know it'll be a lot of work and I won't have much free time at all, but it'll be a great summer adventure for sure! The job starts in mid-June and finishes in mid-August, leaving me with a few weeks break before the school year begins in Prague again in early September. Hmmm...where should I go then?

So bye-bye Prague for the summer, and Chip Chip Cheerio to England!

The Attack Of The Ailo

2007-04-19T10:59:00.000+02:00

Ailish Lally - everyone's favourite ginger-haired Irish travel-photographer! Here she is in action! "Sshhhh....don't disturb the master while she works!" ;-)

In late March I was blessed with the glorious visit of a good old friend of mine - Ailish! For those of you h-core dedicated readers of the blog, you'll remember Ailo as the feisty but friendly Irish vixen who befriended me waaaaay back in the days of my crap teaching job in Shihung, Korea! Ailish and I became good friends during our stay in Korea and the last time I saw her was December 2005 when I breezed through Korea on my way back to Korea. Wow, talk about a blast from the past!

Ailo lives in Ireland now and decided that a visit to Prague - and to see her ol' pal Scotty - was in due order. On a break from completing her Masters in Urban Planning, (just Reason #842 why Ailo Is Awesome,) she stayed with me for a week and we had an absolute blast. We hit up all the usual tourist sites, had many fab dinners and drinks out on the town, and had one helluva Legendary Night at Lucerna - the ultimate 80's bar if there ever was one!

If any of you love 80's music, then you'll love Lucerna. Picture a massive nightclub that plays nothin' but 80's (well, and a few select 70's and 90's hits) all night long, and not only that, but plays the VIDEO for each and every song on a giant screen above the huge dancefloor. It's non-stop 80's fromage all night long! And everyone there is only out to have a good time and dance their butts off. If you're like me and bored to tears of most of the music they play in clubs these days, you'll cry for joy when you discover Lucerna! I've only ever been twice but both nights have been truly amazing. Man, I get excited just thinking about it!

At the same time, Oscar had two friends visiting as well, so we joined forces and emerged with The Coolest Gang in town. Spanish Igor and French Pierrique were two really nice fun guys (and MAN can Pierrique ever cook up a delicious meal of French cheese puffs and Thai curry!) and all of us had such a great time hanging out all over the city. It was sad to see the boys leave after just a few days, and even more sad when My Ailo had to leave the day before!

Having guests in town is always a great way to add some life and energy to one's normal day-to-day routine. It's fun to 'Play Tourist', you get to catch up with old friends, and you see your city in a new fresh way all over again. Ailish also marks the beginning of a wave of friends coming to see me. Jo's coming from London in mid-April, Rok from Ljubljana at the end of April, Benny & Eric in late May, and my parents sometime in late May or early June! Wow, what a busy spring! For those of you others also interested in coming to stay at Scotty's Prague Bed, Breakfast & Tour Guide Services, you better make your reservation now! ;-)

I know I seem to keep putting up the same panoramic views of Prague every few months or so, but the view is so beautiful I just can't resist!

All the lovely red roofs...

The Vlatva, with its many bridges, and Prague Castle up on the hill, as seen from Vysehrad.

No free parking spaces here!

Old Town Clock Tower looms up above the labrynth that is Old Town.

Laurie & Oscar get cozy over a beer at Radost.

Marco & Johana come out to join my friends for a few drinks.

Former future-roomies Scotty & Al hanging out.

Ailo loves to take photos, but *hates* having hers taken. "GOTCHA, babe!" :-)

Christina, looking especially gorgeous here, and Yours Truly.

It's Lucerna Night! Not entirely unplanned, the four of us all decided to wear Western-style checkered shirts. Here us boys are looking hot and ready for action. Who wants to ride a cowboy? ;-)

The Instructions: "Look Sexy". The Result: I'm still trying to figure this one out...

Yes, it also seems that Scotty's blog is full of photos of himself making silly faces while drunk. (You can call me repetitive, but hey at least I'm not boring! LOL)

Our goal here was to "Look Scared." I love Christina's biting-of-her-bottom-lip action!

Scotty & Ailo cuddle up for a rare willing photo from my Irish Princess.

The Checkered Team! Let's go out and hit Lucerna, kids!

Hanging out at Oscar's after Pierrique's amazing dinner. Igor's on the left and P's on the right.

Igor, Scotty, and Pierrique pose for the camera.

Home

2007-04-04T19:49:00.000+02:00

Look! It's my bedroom!

Okay I meant to do this ages ago but just kept forgetting... Here they are - the pics of my flat - two months after I moved in! I've been getting a lot of requests to post these pics (Hi Mom!) so I hope this makes you all feel better.

See what an awesome pad I have! Me loves it!

My room, as seen from standing on my bed.

Now looking the opposite way...

Looking toward the door.

The kitchen, in a state of cleanliness that you see about as often as you do a two-headed snake.

Our sad kitchen table, with only one chair, that no one *ever* uses.

Looking towards Daf's room (which is next to mine) and the WC (toilet room.)

Standing in my doorway, the kitchen would be on your right, looking at Marco's doorway (and the bathroom on the left.)

The toilet room. Yes, in Czech Republic the toilet is separated from the rest of the bathroom. I never quite understood why, but hey I don't make these rules...

The bathroom, with our washer, sink and bidet (unseen) and the big bathtub/shower.

Witness To A Tragedy

2007-04-03T14:22:00.000+02:00

Last week I witnessed something truly horrible just outside of my flat, and I can honestly say that I am forever changed because of it.

It was about 5 o'clock in the evening and I was just stepping out of my flat to run to work. I had taken no more than two steps when I saw the whole thing happen. I live on a busy street in the city, and it's divided in two by a small tram stop/traffic island. Two tram lines run on one side of the island, while two east-bound lanes of traffic run on the other. My flat is on the side of the island with the cars. At the far end of the island is a pedestrian crossing to help people get to the other side, but because of its location many people don't feel like walking all the way up there to use it...

Standing on the island was a woman, and I'm guessing she was around 30 years old or so. Suddenly she made a dash across the lanes of traffic in my direction to cross the street, but she didn't make it. It all happened so fast, I can barely recall exactly how it all took place, but basically she horribly misjudged the timing of the cars, and was hit full-on by a speeding car in the outside lane, just mere metres away from me. What happened at that moment will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I estimate that the car was going somewhere between 60 and 70 km/hr, and as her dash was so fast the driver has absolutely no time to brake. The sound of a speeding vehicle hitting a human being is one I wish I didn't know... The car hit her full-on, and she fell onto the car at a horribly awkward, unnatural angle, bounced off the hood, became airborne, and smashed down into the road, lying in a crumpled heap, unmoving. All of this in only one single second.

I stood there in complete shock, positive that I had just watched someone die only a couple of metres from where I was standing.

I was absolutely frozen and didn't know what to do. I whipped out my mobile and started to dial 911 before I realized that a) that's not the emergency number here, and b) I don't speak Czech. What should I do? What could I do? I just stood and stared at her broken body on the road.

And then she moved...

I was completely aghast. How could someone get hit like that, at such a speed, and fall into the street in such a manner, and live? How can she be moving?

She actually propped herself up a bit, and at this point the driver was out of the car and running towards her. As she looked up at him I could see that her face was completely covered in blood. She had huge cuts and gashes all over her face and head. It was horrifying. She started to cry for a moment, and then stopped and seemed to go all white. She didn't seem to know where she was, and I'm sure she was in a complete state of shock.

At this point other passerby had gathered, and many were on their mobiles. At least now help would be on its way. I wanted to go over and help, but again felt frozen to the sidewalk. I just kept standing and staring... In my mind I just kept thinking "I don't speak Czech, there's nothing I can do..." but looking back now I'm sure there's something I could have done...

By now some people had moved her to the side of the road by the curb, which seemed like a big mistake to me as I've been told that you're not supposed to do this in case the victim has back injuries. Surely this woman, miraculous as it was that she was still alive, must have had severe injuries - either with her back or broken bones or internal bleeding or something....

I have to say that I was also completely shocked over the reaction of the passerby. It seemed that everyone in the vicinity just stood there, casually chatting with friends, as calm and unphased by it all as if they had just seen a pop can get run over. A woman is practically dying in the middle of the road and they all seemed so unaffected. Was I the only one who was scarred at seeing something like this? Perhaps it's because I may have been the only person to have seen the whole accident from start to finish, and that's why I felt so strongly affected? But still...I kept looking at the faces of the other people nearby and the indifference in their eyes truly upset me. What the fuck is wrong with humanity? How can people see something so horrible right in front of them and not be saddened?

By now I was really late for my class and had to leave. I ran to the metro and went on my way to class. I felt a bit numb for a while, but while on the train I started to feel light-headed and nauseous. I thought I was going to be sick on the train but managed to calm myself down. I just kept replaying the whole event over and over in my mind. The dash, the body being struck and then flying through the air, the bloody face...

Over the next few days I was really bothered by what I had seen and felt still in a bit of a state of shock myself. Never in my life have I ever seen something like this. You see stuff like this in the movies, but not ever with your own eyes, not on your own street. I often wonder now how the woman is doing. Did she live or die later of injuries? You can still see her blood on the curb and street just outside my flat, even now. It still sends chills down my spine to see it. I try not to look 'to see if it's still there' but I can't seem to help it.

I can tell you one thing for sure - I'll never ever cross the street in the same way again.

Bohemian Paradise

2007-04-03T13:21:00.000+02:00

Ay! I'm a full month behind! Oh boy! Time to do some catch up...

Spring came early to Prague this year, and it was no surprise considering what a 'non-winter' we had. Although I would've liked to have seen a few more snowy days in Prague - even just to get some nice photographs - I can't say I was too disappointed with the mild winter. Now it's starting to get warmer outside and even some of the flowers are starting to bloom. And the birds are back! Yah!

At the beginning of March I was invited to spend a weekend up at Patrik's cottage with him, his two daughters Anichka and Tereska, and Petr. Never passing up a chance to spend a weekend somewhere new in the Czech Republic, I eagerly jumped on board. Last year Patrik bought a cottage not too far from Prague, and it's a lovely little place. It's on a hill overlooking a tiny village just outside the boundaries of Cesky Raj - Czech for "Czech (or Bohemian as they seem to call it) Paradise."

And paradise it is indeed!

Cesky Raj is a fairly large protected area, consisting of rich forests, small lakes, a smattering of castles, a whole lotta greenery. But, what the park is most famous for, is its unique geological features. The park is home not only to a few extinct volcanic cones, but also a whole whack of sandstone cliffs and rocks. Eroded by the winds of time, water, frost, and well, just 'regular wind', the sandstone has been shaped into many unusual arrangements - sheer cliffs, towering pillars, curvaceous boulders, hole-in-the-rock windows... Very interesting indeed!

The five of us spent Saturday getting settled into the cottage and relaxing in the area. I played a lot with the girls, went for a walk with Petr to a nearby zamek (a residential castle,) and enjoyed the fresh air.

On Sunday we all went for a full afternoon of hiking in the main area of the park. And what a perfect day to be outside! Warm temps, clear blue skies, and Mr. Golden Sun with us the whole time. The hike took us through the forests, up and down and around several of the cliffs, and offered us breathtaking views of the surrounding lowland countryside. What a great way to usher in spring!

I took quite a few photos that day on our hike. Check 'em out below!

Patrik's cottage

The zamek in the nearby village that Petr and I walked around.

Scotty & The Zamek

The church on the grounds of the zamek.

Part 1 of our photoshoot: "American Smiles"

Part 2: "Serious"

Part 3: "Surprised"

Outside the boundaries of the park they have a list of rules. Many of them were quite amusing! Check out the second-from-the-top rule. It gave me a good laugh! (you may need to click on the photo to enlarge it so you can read the print!)

The family overlooking the countryside atop one of the volcanic cones.

Patrik, Petr, and the girls on our hike.

Looking out from atop the cliffs to the surrounding coutryside beyond the park.

Me with Anichka and Tereska.

A wrong step this way could mean big trouble!

Here you can see some of the cliffs in the forest.

Anichka, like a monkey in the tree.

Portal to nowhere....

The Housewarming Swarming

2007-03-04T13:37:00.000+01:00

The site of the swarming! Our flat's on the fourth floor (or "third floor" according to the Europeans). My bedroom is the fourth floor, second from the left (next to the one with the open window, which is Daf's room.)

I had suggested to my flatmates - Marco, Daf, and Johana - that we host a housewarming party of sorts, and they were all keen on the idea. The idea was for all four of us to each invite all our friends, and then this way we'd have four different social circles all coming together. It would be a multi-national, multi-lingual party - very 'The Spanish Apartment' if you've ever seen that great film. I was super excited about it, and so invited all of my buddies and told them to invite whoever they wanted to as well.

Not sure who would come, I was expecting that realistically it would be a smallish gathering of just some cool peeps hanging out. Well, it turned into a huge mega party with a far higher turnout than I could have imagined! I didn't actually count but my guess would be in the 30 + range, which is awesome! And with the exception of three people, all of the guests were connected to me! Wow, I feel so popular! There were a good number of people there who I didn't even know (friends had invited other friends) and this to me is always a good sign of a successful party. Funny thing is that some of these strangers seemed to think it was my birthday party, so several times during the night I had people coming up to me to wish my 'Happy Birthday!' Not exactly sure how that got started, but whatever! ;-)

There were PLENTY of drinks flowing, and Scotty was piss-ass drunk in no time at all. There's huge chunks of the night that I don't entirely remember all that clearly, but I know that fun was had by all, and when people left they thanked me for "a great party!" YES! My social status here in Prague has been officially established! The housewarming party also coincided exactly with my 6-month anniversary of life in Prague, and I think the good turnout is a big testament to how lucky I am that I've got such a good gang of friends here! Yah! :-)

Enjoy the pictures below! There's quite a few, so you might wanna grab a coffee or snack first before sitting down and getting too comfortable. ;-)

Lukash, Scotty, and Stepan

Girl whose name I can't remember (Jen?), Shawn, and Claire (who looks a bit like Sophie Ellis-Bextor if you ask me!)

My Czech girls! Ivana, Eva, and Anna catch up on my bed.

Oscar and "the crazy girl" on my couch.

My flatmate Daf and his friend Martina.

Patriko and Scotty

Oscar claims that he wasn't drunk at the party, but I think this picture proves otherwise! Notice the dazed expression and drunken eyes, plus the can of Gambrinus in his hand! Oscar you've been caught in the act! :-)

Cory, Justin, Rachel

Kim and Alasdair

Greg, Laurie, Anna

Petr and Patrik

Carolyn and Kate - two all-American girls chatting it up!

Scotty and Christina chatting in the corner.

Christina, girl whose name I also forget, Oscarito, and Iwy

Fashionistas Grace and Kamila

Manny, Sharka, and Marco (my Spanish flatmate)

Scotty and Manny, the only Canadians at the party!

Awww don't leave Kamila! Stay a while longer!

Cory, Justin, and Kate all hail from Nashville (yeehaw!), Rachel's from England, and then Marco and I on the end.

Cuddles in the kitchen! Laurie, Carolyn, and Greg

Johana (our unofficial fourth flatmate!) and Marco

It's EuroRoomies! Canadian Scotty, Czech Johana, Spanish Marco, and Welsh Daf together in a photo for the first time ever.

At Daf's suggestion, we all tried to pull off the 'serious look.' (Nice job looking serious, Marco!)

Super cute Manny and Sharka together.

Yep Petr's starting to look a bit drunk...

Love is all around! Former roomies Carolyn and Alasdair embrace.

Oscar and Martina

Stylish Grace knows how to handle her beer!

Scotty and Iwy looking adorable.

Iwy hands out the cuddles.

Does art imitate life or does life imitate art? Here the lines blur between Mona and Al.

Getting cozy on the dancefloor!

Uber cute!

Another pic that makes me laugh! Scotty and Al hamming it up as always.

Apparently I'm also a vampire who's out to bite Grace's neck!

Here's one for the living room photo frame!

Friends and colleagues, Al and Christina

Grace and Al looking quite saucy on the dancefloor!

Johana is at a loss for words at Scotty's marriage proposal.

Super sexy! Hanging out...on the kitchen floor...Scotty and Carolyn.

The dancefloor becomes a 3-ring circus as Kim and Greg (pictured here) perform some acrobatics.

Wow! Greg's got *many* talents!

Oh no! Gracey got a little excited in the spirit of things and spilt some precious beer on the floor!

"Phew that was a lot of hard work! Time to reward myself with some more beer!"

Dance girl, dance! (sorry, forget her name too!)

In another dimension, we'd be hearing wedding bells right about now... ;-)

Drunkenness all over my bed! Carolyn, Oscarito, and Laurie.

Marco and Johana - the super cute couple!

Petr and Iwy enjoy a smoke break in the stairwell.

Petr finally embraces his great love for all that is Germany by showing off her favourite Starbucks Berlin mug!

Success!

2007-03-01T20:33:00.000+01:00

Guess who's fully legal in the Czech Republic? ;-)

Yep! It's me! Yahhh!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up at the ungodly hour of 5am this Tuesday morning to head on down to the dreaded Foreign Police again. It had been a full 2 weeks since my first incident, and I was ready (well, mostly) to jump back into that cesspool again and give it another go.

It was still dark when I arrived there at 6am, but I was near the front of the line and was determined to keep it that way. A full hour and a half passed until the doors opened, and during this time it rained off and on. Not exactly a pleasant morning to be standing outside in a queue! And of course, as expected, as soon as the doors opened pandemonium broke out. I was squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezed like you can't imagine but I managed to worm my way in relatively quickly.

I made my way up the stairs, being fairly aggressive in trying to maintain my much-coveted position. When I got to the now infamous cranky Ticket Box Lady I once again showed her my little piece of paper with my request in Czech...and this time she actually presented me with a ticket! Woohoo! This alone is reason enough for celebration!

I had ticket #17 and I was quite pleased with this. I sat myself down in the chaotic waiting room and awaited my turn. This blond middle-aged woman sat down next to me and for some reason she offered to trade me tickets! She didn't speak a word of English (in my mind she was from "somewhere east of here", but I'm going to go with Ukraine) but she had ticket #8! No idea why she wanted to trade tix, but hey I'm not going to say no for getting a better spot! How nice of her! Thank you, Random Ukrainian Woman! :-)

Only 20 or so minutes later my number was called and I went up to the desk to have my visa registered. Surprisingly, the woman behind that counter wasn't pure evil in a human form as I imagined all Foreign Police employees to be. In fact (and brace yourself cause you never see this in Czech civil service) I think she may have even smiled at me! Be still my beating heart!

Only a few minutes later, after some paper-shuffling and a couple fancy stamps in my passport, I was outta there! YES! I'm done! Good riddance Foreign Police! Hope it's a while before I have to go there again... I went home and headed straight back to bed. A few more hours of sleep before class seems like a very appropriate way to celebrate my success, if you ask me! ;-)

Kutna Hora

2007-03-01T19:42:00.000+01:00

Oscar and I show off our breakfasts while on the train to Kutna Hora.

Time for another weekend away! Okay, well not a full weekend, but how about just a day trip? Sounds good to me!

Today Oscar, Petr and I made plans to go and check out one of the Czech Republic's premium attractions - the historic town of Kutna Hora. One of what I call "The Big Three", KH is one third of the ultimate trifactor of tourist magnets. The other two are Karlstejn Castle and the town of Cesky Krumlov, both of which I've already seen, so now after this trip I'm fully prepared to lead groups on day and weekend trips from the capital!

KH has an interesting history. Like Prague, it was founded about 1700 years ago, and became a Middle Ages boom town when silver was discovered beneath the town. Kutna Hora exploded in popularity as people from all over Central Europe came flocking in droves to get a piece of the silver mine action. Bohemia's mint was founded here, pumping out the first Czech currencies, and KH also later on became home to a Jesuit College and then eventually the Cathedral of St. Barbara - the mother of all Gothic palaces of worship. Various other churches and grandiose buildings sprouted up during its boom, and Kutna Hora even gave Prague a run for it's money as the dominant city for Bohemia.

But, a few simple twists in fate can seal city's fortune - or failure - forever. Kutna Hora suffered a serious of blows which would begin its decline - a devestating fire, high death tolls during The Plague, and then the ultimate clincher - the silver ran dry. Kutna Hora had run out of steam, while its sister city Prague continued to boom and grow. KH would then forever have to live in the long shadows of the almighty capital.

But, Kutna Hora has seen a bit of a reincarnation in recent years. Thanks to the booming tourist trade, KH has been put back on the European map in a big way. As an A-list Czech attraction, and only an hour train ride from Prague, KH enjoys it's new glory days as a pretty little hilltop collection of beautiful historic buildings clustered around Big ol' Barbara. Babs is currently undergoing a major facelift, but after this massive reconstruction project is finished, the cathedral will again shine on as one of Europe's greatest cathedrals. Kutna Hora is a lovely little city that's perfect just for wandering. A day trip is enough time to see the whole thing, and around every corner is another ideal vantage for getting that perfect photo.

But, as grand as the cathedral and the town are, it's neither of these, actually, which are real draw for tourists. As beautiful as they are, it's a more...morbid?...site that brings in the numbers. May I introduce you to The Ossuary Chapel of All Saints. :-)

Known affectionately by the locals as "The Bone Church", the ossuary is definitely one of the most...ummm...unique...tourist traps that I've ever come across. Located just outside of Kutna Hora in the 'suburb' of Sedlec, the ossuary is a tiny little monastery that got creative when it had a midieval 'storage problem', if you will... When The Plague struck and the bodies began piling up, the locals looked at the already full local cemeteries and scratched their heads at what to do. It wasn't until a local woodcarver with a penchant for bone art that a solution was found. The imaginative woodcarver decided to take the bones and adorn the entire inside of the ossuary with art and sculpture - made entirely from the skeletons of The Plague victims.

And boy did he have a lot of material to work with! It's estimated that he used 40,000 bones (or was it the bones from 40,000 skeletons? I can't remember...) Either way, it's a helluva lot of bones, all over the place. There's long swooping garland-like strings, lanterns and chandeliers, chalices and coats of arms - all made from bones. There's also four ginormous bone pyramids in the corners of the ossuary (leftover material?) It's a ghoulish sight, and is how I imagine a home would be decorated if The Addams Family got together with The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tres bizarre!

Us three boys had a lovely afternoon, one part crazy bone-obsessed wood carver, one part f-ing huge gothic cathedral, one part long lunch and coffee break. It was a sunny, albeit quite windy, day, and we really enjoyed our weekend excursion. I'd definitely bring out-of-town guests here, and it's even fun to do the whole "What-if-the-silver-hadn't-run-out?" game and imagine a modern day Kutna Hora still competing with Prague for Bohemian dominancy. Fun stuff! ;-)

A statue outside a monastery on the outskirts on Kutna Hora that's currently undergoing restoration.

The Ossuary Chapel of All Saints. It looks so cute and small from the outside that you can't tell it hides such ghoulish treasures on the inside!

Wow! It's a ginormous chandelier made entirely out of bones! (It's also claimed that this chandelier contains at least one of every kind of bone in the human body.)

Stare at this for too long and dark thoughts will start to creep in...beware!

I bet this guy was really good at Arts & Crafts class when he was in school!

Morticia Addams would've loved this!

Bones bones and more bones!

Wow! Entire bone garlands strung from one side of the chapel to the other!

One of the four bone pyramids to be found inside the chapel.

This is quite pretty actually.

Petr and Oscar hanging out in one of the town's squares.

This picture makes me laugh every time I see it! Look how grumpy Oscar looks! It's like he's thinking "Petr, get your f-ing finger off my bloody face!"

The enormous gothic St. Joseph cathedral - also currently closed for restoration.

The saints lining the road leading to St. Barbara's Cathedral.

Saints with St. Joseph's in the background.

Babs is busy getting a major facelift these days.

Kutna Hora as viewed from St. Barbara's.

Flying buttresses!

More flying buttresses!

Wow! Babs is a big girl!

My Rant

2007-02-21T20:19:00.000+01:00

Alright, brace yourself, I'm warning you now...this whole post is gonna be one big rant. But trust me when I say that I've got good reason to bitch about something. Now those of you who know me, know that generally I'm a very positive, happy-go-lucky guy who doesn't normally let shitty stuff get to him, but here's an exception.

It's called Czech Bureaucracy, and it's me hard, like a bullet to the brain.

It's all cause of my attempt to become legal here in the Czech, as technically I've been working illegally since I arrived. The Czech visa process is long and arduous, involving a million steps and even more paperwork, with more bureaucratic government hoops to jump through than you can imagine. Let my try and give you a brief summary (if that's even possible) of how one becomes legal here in the Czech.

Firstly, the government expects you to already have a work visa before you arrive as they cannot be done within the country. Now in order to begin The Process you need to have an employer to vouch for you and provide them with your employment stats, but of course, obviously, it's pretty darn hard to get a job without actually being here for interviews and such. It also takes (on average) three months to get a visa, so what employer is gonna hire you from across the ocean and then be willing to wait through three months of paperwork before you start is beyond me.

Anyway, after shuffling documents and paperwork back and forth between my school and Baker Tilly (the agency responsible for acting as visa middlemen), getting photos done, going for a Czech physical to 'prove that I'm healthy enough to work here', signing documents so that Baker Tilly can do a criminal check on me, getting lease papers from my landlord to prove that I do live where I say I do...blah blah blah...after getting all of this crap done, I then have to actually leave the country to begin the formal application.

Yes, you read right. I have to leave the Czech Republic in order to continue the process. WTF? Actually it's not too much of a shock to me, as I had to fly to Japan for the day to get my Korean work visa back in the day...but still...surely there must be an easier way?

So one day back in January my school drove me and a couple other teachers (along with our Baker Tilly agent) to the nearest Czech Embassy, which is located in Dresden, Germany. I had to take a day off of work - unpaid - and it was about two and a half hours each way to Dresden and back. I think we spent a total of about one hour in the Embassy, of which the only thing that I had to actually do was be there just so that they could see that my real life appearance matches the photo in my passport. Wow. A whole unpaid day off of work for something that took me ten seconds. Not exactly efficient, is it?

What happens after this is that the Embassy decides to accept or reject your application, and if it's accepted (it always is at this stage) they mail it back to Prague, to the Foreign Police office, as they are the ones who actually process your visa. Ummm...why couldn't we have just taken the application papers directly to the Foreign Police ourselves?

So a month goes by, the FP approve our visas, and what's the next step after this you ask? They then mail all the documents back to the Embassy in Dresden and then...yes, you guessed it...we have to drive back to pick them up! So yes that means another day off of work, and another journey to Germany and back. This time we spent even less time in the Embassy - I think we spent a grand total of maybe 60 minutes in Germany altogether?

At this point in the story you may think that this couldn't get any more bureaucratic, with all this hopskotching back and forth between Ceska Republika and Deutschland. Oh no. There's more! Ooooh the fun!

Now I've been quite easy-going up until this point, and have to even confess that I rather enjoyed the little free road trips to Germany (hello extra stamps in my passport!) but the next step is the one that pissed me off...

So now that we have our passports with our lovely pretty full-page work visas inside, we have to take our passports back to the Foreign Police office to register them. Ummm...HELLO? You guys *just* gave me the visa, and now you want me to bring the very same visa back to you to show you what you just printed off a few days before? HONESTLY!!!???

Now this is the last and final step in the whole process (finally!) but....

BUT

....this is by far the worst step in the whole process. Welcome to the Foreign Police Office, Welcome To Hell. The FPO is the ultimate in bureaucratic nightmares. Picture absolute government chaos, multiple this image by a thousand, and you might just begin to start describing the scene that can be found there.

After returning from Dresden in the early afternoon, a few of us decided that it would be most convenient to go straight to the FPO to get this over and done with. Oh what naive young little foreigners we were! Mwahahahaha! (insert evil laugh here.)

We were greeted with what has to be the Ninth Level of Hell. A million people all over the place, all angry and frustrated and as confused as you are. Dozens of lines, with no indication which one you're supposed to be in. A swarm of people circling the ticket box. And an info desk, which at first seemed like a ray of hope in a sea of darkness and despair.

We thought that the Info Desk would be a good place to get information on where to go and what to do. Oh how very, very wrong we were. There's yet another swarm of pissed off foreigners buzzing around this desk, and when you finally fight your way to the front of the line (actually here there is no line, it's just whoever can push to the front the hardest that gets served) you discover that the only language they speak at the Info Desk is Czech. Now remember, this is the Foreign Police, ie: no Czech speakers ever have to come here. It's only for foreigners. Foreigners who are new to the country. Foreigners who don't fucking speak Czech. The languages you hear in this hellhole of a waiting room echo like the United Nations - English, Russian, Ukrainian, Spanish, French, German, Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, various African languages...but none of us speak Czech. SO WOULDN'T IT MAKE SENSE TO HAVE SOMEONE AT THE INFO DESK WHO SPEAKS A LANGUAGE OTHER THAN CZECH!!??? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????/

*breath in Scotty, breath out...*

We attempted to ask the lady for help in both English and Russian, but all we got was an angry "NO ENGLISH!" and a wave in our face to shoo us away. Wow, great service here. We then, after wandering lost in the main waiting room for half an hour, figured out that the swarm around the ticket box is because only so many tickets are printed per day, and most of them go in the morning, so until the box prints out more tickets, you can't ever expect to get served. We met two guys from Botswana who had been waiting three hours already for a ticket, and still no luck. Holy fuck this place blows! It was then time to the "Abort!" button and give up for this day.

We heard through the grapevine that if you actually want to have a hope in hell of getting served, you have to visit the office early to get a ticket. And not just early, but Really Fucking Early. Like before the offices even open at 7:30am!. So that you can line-up and hope and pray that you will get a ticket. Oh boy this is gonna be fun...

I had early classes for the next few days so it wasn't until the following Tuesday that I was able to make it down to the offices in the early hours. I woke up at 6am and trudged on down to FPO, arriving about 40 minutes before the office was to open. I was greeted with a queue of what must've been at least 200 hundred people! Apparently some of them had been there since 5am, just to get a spot in line!! Once again, let me throw out a "WTF"!!!???

Trying to remain positive that I wasn't too late, I waited patiently until the doors opened at 7:30. At this point the entire line disintegrated into a angry, selfish, shoving, pushing mob of people trying to squeeze through the narrow doors. It was a 'Dog Eat Dog' moment, and was truly chaotic. After shoving your way through the doors you then have to funnel up the narrow stairwell to the second floor, where you're pretty much moving at a snail's pace and people keep budding around and over you, desperate to get ahead. It was disgusting and made me hate all of humanity for about 20 minutes.

When I finally got into the waiting room, and got to the front of the line at The Ticket Box, I was greeted by a surly round farmhouse woman, and a tall handsome police office (why was he there? to maintain order? well you're not so successful at this, are you buddy?) I showed her a piece of paper where, written in Czech, was the reason why I was there (so she'd know what kind of ticket to give me.) She looked at the paper and then responded with "Tomorrow."

And that was it.

Actually it was the word 'tomorrow' in about four or five languages. And then I was pushed out of line. Spat out like yesterday's trash, left standing in a state of rage and shock and pure disbelief. I had woken up at the crack of dawn on my morning off, ventured all the way down here, stood in line in the cold, fought tooth and nail (actually I was pretty passive while in line, maybe therein lies my fault...) and finally got to the front, only to get cast off and told to come back tomorrow. And I couldn't even ask her why as "tomorrow" is the only word she knows in English.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this point, for a brief moment, I just about went postal and wanted to kill everyone in the room. But, it was so frustrating and aggravating it was almost hilarious. Kafka couldn't have even dreamed up such a modern day bureaucratic nightmare in his dark and depressing novels as this.

I stood there, looking around at the chaos surrounding me, watching the hundreds of other foreigners drowning in the deafenings sounds of despair and confusion (I wasn't the only one who was so brutally rejected), and decided that I really did have just about enough of this bullshit. And so I left.

That was a week and a half ago, and I haven't been back since. The silent rage boiled inside of me for quite a while, but the real reason I haven't gone back yet, besides the fact that I'm actually not a sado-masochist, is that I've been working early morning classes every single day. And I'm sorry, but at this point I'm just not willing to take another unpaid morning off of work to go stand in a line that may or may not result in my visa getting registered. No sirree.

Oh I'll get back down there eventually, likely next week actually, but I certainly can't say I'm looking forward to it. Frankly an afternoon of root canals would be more pleasant than having having to go back there again, but I guess I don't have a choice.

Stay tuned for an update after I venture back down there... I'm sure I'll have a whole new bag of horror stories to share with you after this!

Da Boyz

2007-02-21T19:37:00.000+01:00

I've been hanging out a lot lately with my new best buds Petr, Oscar, and Patrik, and the four of us always have a blast wherever we go, whatever we do. Silliness always ensues, as does usually enjoying a bottle (or two or four) of wine! The four of us have become pretty tight, and I'm really liking my new gang of boys. Perhaps it's time to start a new band, called POPS? (the first letter of each of our names.) NOT that I would ever, like in a hundred billion years, abandon my SLEDD roots, but since I'm all European these days maybe I also need a representative band, for my current new continental home? It fits, as we would clearly rock out the hot Brit music show, 'Top Of The POPS! ;-)

So here's two sets of pictures. The first is a few weekends ago when POPS went out for dinner and then came back to mine to enjoy some wine and *SHAZAM!* a random dance party! (See, I can still honour some SLEDD traditions by importing them to The Czech!) The pics are pretty funny, and hey, you can never have enough Drunk Scotty pics, now can you?

Set #2 is a dinner party we had, where Petr and Oscar came over to take over my kitchen and show off their culinary skills. (Since I have absolutely none.) Petr cooked up a delicious vegetarian chili, while Oscarito dazzled us with a delicious chocolate cake - made from scratch! Yum yum yum! :-)

Patrik, Oscar, and Petr on the couch in my bedroom.

Scottito, Oscarito, and Pedrito (our respective Spanish names, courtesy of Oscar who hails from Espana.)

Petr and Patrik - the happy couple! :-)

Petr gets cozy with Mona. (She's huge, came with my flat, and seems to have theoe eyes that follow you wherever you go in my room...it's a bit creepy.)

Oscar and Petr show off their "American smiles." ;-)

Two sexy studs!

Scotty attempts to look suave in his new specs, but instead just comes off looking drunk. As usual. ;-)

Dance mi chico latino, dance!

Petr and Oscar get their groove on while cooking dinner in my kitchen.

Oscar with "The Cake: Before"

Petr hard at work with the chili.

Mmmm...tasty chocolate icing!

Two boys enjoying the chocolate sauce just a little too much...

Oscar with "The Cake: After" (yes we pretty much ate the whole thing!)

Scotty gets caught with a mouthful of cake.

The obligatory "American smile" pose with my cake.

Escalator Etiquette 101

2007-02-08T15:23:00.000+01:00

The Prague Metro is a beautiful thing. It's fast, efficient (well, mostly), and has some pretty funky-looking stations. The Commies may have fucked up a lot of other things in the Czech Republic, but one positive legacy they left behind for the capital is a fantastic mass transit system.

However, the beauty of the Metro's workings are hindered by the lovely local inhabitants. The Czechs are great, I love 'em all to pieces, but dear lord they need a lot of help when it comes to how to behave on an escalator. I know that those four-odd decades behind the Iron Curtain was a bit like being cryogenically frozen and then reawakened again in fast modern times, not unlike Brendan Fraser in 1999's cinematic gem "Blast From The Past". But, eighteen-plus years have gone by already, and if there's one aspect that Czech culture needs to catch up on, to join the rest of this crazy modern world, is what to do, and more importantly what not do, when riding the escalators of the subway.

But, have no fear Prague! Scotty is here to educate, enlighten, and entertain. I've developed five fun and fresh handy hints that will help all of us, Czech and foreigner alike, to have a more pleasant trip on the Metro. Follow these five simple rules, and soon enough we'll all be singing - even louder! - the praises of Prague's metro. Enjoy! :-)

1) Firstly, let me introduce you to The International Escalator Rule. It's quite complicated, so brace yourself. It's called "Stand On The Right, Walk On The Left". Wow, that was a lot to take in, wasn't it? It's a simple yet brilliant concept, and ensures maximum efficiency for all those arriving or departing the trains. Those who want to stand and relax can stay on the right out of the way, and those who are in a hurry can speed on by without having to get stuck behind someone half way up who's completely clueless that they're holding up two dozen rushing people behind them. This rule is observed in subways and metros all around the world, from London to Montreal to Hong Kong to Berlin. Apparently it has yet to be introduced to the Czechs.

2) The Prague Metro has fabulously brisk escalators. They transport you from the subterranean depths up to the surface in mere seconds. Honestly, they're the speediest subway escalators I've come across yet. Hooray! HOWEVER, this fact makes the next rule that much more important. When you reach the top (or bottom) of the escalator, walk quickly forward or away to the side. Don't be afraid. I know that sometimes it feels like you're an airplane coming in for a landing, but don't let that deter you. Just step off and embrace the forward motion like an old friend. You'll be fine, trust me. You're not going to die, honestly. Stopping suddenly at the very top, whether it's cause you're afraid, or think you see a 1 crown coin on the ground in front of you, or because you feel the sudden urge to contemplate the meaning of life or ponder whether or not you really did turn off the oven, is NOT a good idea. Just step off the escalator and move.

3) This one goes out to all the couples out there in love - especially the teenagers. While I really do like the fact that the Czechs openly embrace public displays of affection, and how free that makes all of us feel (let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya now), sometimes these bloody happy couples take things a bit too far. Holding hands, sure. Long hugs, sounds great. A kiss here and there, go for it! Trying to see if you can make it to third base with your girlfriend on the escalator when you're wedged between Grandma Jana and the whole Svoboda Family is not cool. It's called 'Get A Room!,' people. I'm all for romance, but when it gets to the point where I feel like I should be handing out cigars - or tissues? - while on the metro, well that's where the line has definitely been crossed.

4) And for all you who have pets, while it's great that you can take your dog absolutely anywhere in the Czech Republic, if nature calls for ol' Rover, clean it up. Please. While this is true for both the trains and the platform, this is especially true on the escalators. If I had 100 crowns for everytime I've seen a piece of dog shit bobbing and rolling around, stuck at the bottom of the escalator, I'd never have to pay rent again. Remember, this spot is where people are so afraid of their impending landing that they're not looking out for bouncing dog shit, so it's an especially hazardous place for one's shoes, or god help you if you're wearing sandals that day... Pretending that your dog didn't take a big juicy crap on the escalator is not going to make it go away. And while the escalators are indeed super speedy, they're not nearly fast enough to suck the shit down under the the floor. I'm sorry, but that's just the physics of it.

And while this shitty hazard is rather frightening when one is about to reach the bottom, and it's so crowded that you can't see if there's shit there til the last second and by then it's almost always too late to divert your foot, this does present potential for a very fun game when the roles are reversed. Once one has cleared the bottom of the escalator, managing to stealthily avoid the gyrating feces, and has survived the whole drama shit-free, it's great fun for the whole family to stand back on the platform and play the whole "Who's Gonna Step In The Shit?" Game. This game is especially entertaining if you happen to be drunk, as my CELTA comrades and I observed, much to our delight, last September. Just like many things in life, stepping in shit sucks, but watching someone else step in shit can be downright hilarious. But, keeping with my high morals, I shouldn't encourage this game, and therefore emplore you all to please clean up off after your dog.

5) This question goes out to the maintenance staff who take care of the escalators in the Prague Metro. Why the fuck is it that on any given day, at least one of the escalators in each and every single station seems to be broken, or closed for repair?? This wouldn't matter so much if you had more escalators to choose from, but in several of the stations there's only one exit out, and only three or four escalators to choose from. During morning and evening peak hours, trust me when I say that every operable escalator counts. When two trains roll into a station, and hundreds of hurried commuters are pouring out like a bursting dam, well, we sure as hell need that extra escalator. Have you seen the morning queues to get onto an escalator? Yeah, it ain't pretty is it?

Want to increase efficiency in your mass transit system? Here's a handy hint - fix the damn escalators, and fix 'em right! I don't want to see one escalator closed for repair for a few days, only to see it closed yet again a week later ever again. I mean, WTF? Do you actually know how to fix an escalator? Or is that your way of a make-work project, to ensure that you keep your job, by having to perpetually repair the damn escalators by not really repairing them at all? Well us commuters have had enough of your band-aid solutions. Either fix 'em right, or buy new fucking escalators! Honestly, it's enough to make one go mad some days!

Although the tone of these rules may be a tad...firm...consider it tough love. The Metro is great, the Czechs are fab, but let's all work just a bit harder and make it that much better. I know you can do it. I have faith. I've seen proof. If each of you are somehow miraculously able to master The Czech Language from birth, (a feat of unequalled measure,) then improving your Escalator Behaviour shouldn't come across as rocket science. I may be a patient man, but we've all got limits, and it's time to set things straight. Let's begin tomorrow. I'm even willing to help provide directions and guidance, like an over-eager-beaver flight attendant, should you need that extra boost.

Now then, will that be coffee, tea, or me? ;-)

Scotty's Photography Project

2007-02-05T20:02:00.000+01:00

I've recently started a photography project that I wanted to share with you. As one of my New Year's Resolutions I've decided to take a photograph for every single day that I live here in Prague, and publish it to a website. Yes, apparently having only one website to maintain is no longer enough, so I've decided to add a second photo-oriented one!

This website is more of a personal project for myself, but I thought that perhaps you'd enjoy the results as well. My goal is to take pictures not so much of the big and famous landmarks in the city, but rather of 'everyday life' here in Prague. Things I see on my way to work, or when out and about town, or something new when I venture down a path I've never been. There's so much to see in this beautiful city, and I think that the little details of daily life can be just as interesting and pretty.

I've been taking pictures for almost a month now, and I think my pictures are simple and varied. I'm by no means a great photographer, but this is good practice for me, and I hope to improve my skills as the months pass on. More importantly, this project has really opened my eyes even more to the beauty that surrounds me. Prague is an achingly gorgeous city, and by constantly carrying my camera, and having to look for my day's "photo assignment", I'm noticing so many more things. I feel that I'm appreciating the beauty that is Prague on a whole new level, and I'm having fun with it! By capturing these 'ordinary details' of my daily routine I feel that in time I'll be able to look back and remember all the little things that added up to what was my life here in the Czech Republic. And for all you guys who've never been here, it's a chance to see more than just the regular tourist track. (But don't worry, you'll still see photos of The Big & Famous here on my regular blog!)

I'd like to give a special shout-out to my good pals Ryan and Christine living down in Buenos Aires. It was Christine's idea to do a daily photoblog, and it was Ryan that introduced me to this great website. They're two of the coolest people on the planet, and they leave me feeling inspired and humbled. Their photography skills far surpass mine!

So here it is. Check it out, and remember to check often as I'll be updating it every week with new daily photos. And please feel free to leave comments if you see anything in particular you like!

http://s2hworldtour.aminus3.com

Winter's Antics

2007-02-04T15:22:00.000+01:00

It certainly has been a strange winter, weather-wise, here in Prague.
It's been one of the mildest winters on record, here in the Czech Republic. The first few months, in fact, turned out to be the warmest winter in over 40 years. There just wasn't any snow to be found. Ski hills sat empty, the city's hills lay brown and barren, and a day out on the town only required a light jacket and a scarf (for the wind.) No need to get all bundled up here! It was even worse in the Alps, where they were experiencing their warmest winter in 1400 years! Whoa, hello global warming!

And then came the windstorm, when much of Europe was nearly swept off the map due to hurricane-force winds. Actually named Windstorm Kyrill, (who knew they named windstorms like they do hurricanes?) the storm caused over 3.5 billion euros in damage across Britain, Germany, Poland, the Netherlands, Denmark, and Czech Republic. Over 40 deaths were related to the storm that also caused major power outages across the continent, delayed hundreds of flights, and disrupted rail service in over half a dozen nations.

The Czech Republic was spared from major damage, but apparently the winds were strong enough that city residents were advised to stay indoors. Unbeknownst to me, I actually went for a walk through Old Town that night, just to check things out. Oh Scotty... It was actually quite difficult to walk but I didn't realize at the time just how strong the winds were. Yes, sometimes I'm not the brightest crayon in the box ("Oooh a windstorm! I'm gonna go for a walk!") but hey I survived it just fine.

And then less than a week after the windstorm, the Czech Republic finally got it's first real dumping of snow of the season. And what a load it was! More than 30 cm. fell in a few days, and it kept on falling even as the weekend approached. Prague was transformed into a beautiful white cityscape, until the salt and sand attacks turned most of ito slush on the city streets. For the first time it actually felt like real winter, and it was pretty fun (read: messy) to be out and about.

On Thursday I got a text from my good buddy Petr asking me if I wanted to join him, his boyfriend Patrik, and Patrik's two kids for a weekend away in the mountains. In desperate need for a city escape, and quite eager to see some snowy scenery, I was quick to reply 'yes!' So on Friday morning, after I finished my AM class, the five of us drove out to Orlicke Hory - the small mountain chain in North Bohemia on the border with Poland. I knew that we were going to be staying in a rented cottage near some ski hills, and I had pictured it being a mountain 'zoo' of sorts, with all of Prague flooding out of the city for the first white weekend of the season.
Fortunately, it turned out to be the exact opposite! It was so quiet and peaceful and serene - and there was hardly a soul around. We rented 3 bedrooms of a 5-bedroom cottage and were the only ones there. The cottage was way up in the mountains (more like big hills actually) and the ski hills weren't even open the first day we were there. Everything was a complete winter wonderland, the hills and forests nestled under a thick blanket of snow, no people, no noise, no traffic...it was magical!

The three days were spent with all of us acting like big kids in the snow - plenty of sledding, snowball fights, and snow angels. I can't even remember the last time I went tobogganing! It was so much fun! The girls went skiing, but I opted instead for sleeping in and long walks down the snowy country roads. The five of us played plenty of indoor kids games as well, including hide-and-go-seek (another game that I haven't played in ages, and still fun when you're 28!), card games, and lots of horseback/piggyback rides for the girls by yours truly. Anychka's 11 and Tereska's 7 and they both took to me instantly. I felt like a bit of a 'New English Toy' and Anychka was quite eager to practice the bits of English she had learned in school. Both girls were really sweet and I had fun with the all weekend long.

We had a particularly fun afternoon on the Saturday when the five of us went for a short drive up a mountain to have hot chocolate and coffee in this chalet. The chalet sits on the peak of one of the larger hills, and overlooks an amazing view of the countryside. What's really cool is that right behind the chalet is the border with Poland! There's actually a border crossing there (no roads though, just a hiking trail) and a concrete post marking the exact position. Naturally we had to play the whole 'Look at me jump back and forth between countries!' game, which I'm quite convinced that no human being can resist when presented with a border situation like this. And so, with a single bound, I lept into Poland, and thus added my 21st* country to my list of places travelled. No, there isn't a stamp in my passport for it, and yes I was only in Poland about three metres, but whatever those are mere technicalities. I can say I've been to Poland and I'm sticking to it! ;-)

We made the 180-km. drive back to Prague Sunday evening and I returned to the city feeling so happy and refreshed. Three days of fresh mountain air and good ol-fashioned winter fun was just what the doctor ordered. I really needed the break, and came back fully ready to return to work and city life. It's amazing what one little weekend away can do!

* Okay if I'm using these silly techicality rules, then in acutality Poland would be my 23rd country visited. In 1997 I was in Zurich Airport on the way back to Toronto from Italy and although I only had a layover there, and never left the security area (thus no stamp) I guess you could say I was only sorta in Swiss space? And in 2004 I made a trip to the DMZ border area between the two Koreas and was allowed to visit a meeting room that straddles the exact border. In this room you're actually able to walk around the meeting table and thus cross into North Korea, but you can't leave the building (cause you'd probably never be seen again!) When you think about it, it should be a simple thing to say whether or not you've been to a country. (Much like asking a woman 'Have you ever been pregnant?' I mean you can't 'just sorta' be pregnant. You either have or you haven't.) So why do we make it so complicataed to answer the question about visiting countries? I mean really, either you've been there or you haven't, and if the border marks the line where one begins and one ends, well then according to those rules I've been to 23. But, my faithful passport only says 20 (including Canada.) Man I need to get my numbers up! The way I see it, if your age is more than the number of countries you've been to, then you're not doing something right. Well, that's my personal philosophy anyways, which means that I'm currently about 8 or 5 countries short of where I should be. Time to get a move on! ;-)

Petr and I in the forest.

The view from the road that leads up to the border mountain chalet.

Looking up to the highest point of Orlicke Hory.

Hello Poland! I see you!

Scotty will straddle just about anything, including international borders.

Me with Tereska and Anychka on the Czech-Polish border.

Not much in the way of security here!

The sign welcoming you into the Czech Republic.

Awww so pretty!

The Orlicke Hory are a protected area, as the sign denotes. The chalet is in the background.

Close to where we were sledding on Sunday.

Love It Or Loathe It?

2007-01-22T15:44:00.000+01:00

The communists have been blamed for a lot of bad things here in the Czech Republic. Endless government corruption. A high unemployment rate and sometimes slow-to-recover economy(although doing quite well in recent years.) A complete freeze of cultural and social evolution for 50 years. And really, really ugly architecture.

Ladies and gentlemen, I behold to you, the ugliest of all ugly Communist desings - the Zizkov Television Tower!

Architectural merits - or lack thereof - aside, this is a tower that does not belong in Prague. Anywhere but Prague would be a more fitting home for this concrete monstrosity. Built for telecommunication purposes between 1985 and 1992 by the Communist powers that be, the Zizkov Tower completely dominates the Prague skyline. Honestly, it *is* the skyline here in the city. Prague is a city sans-skyscrapers (well, other than a couple around the convention centre out in the burbs at Pankrac Metro Station...) Known as The City Of 1000 Spires, instead it's Prague's many beautiful church spires and cathedral domes that grace the heavens above our beautiful medeival city that Prague was famous for, for centuries. Well, them, and now also a tower that looks like one of those tripods from 'War Of The Worlds' with a tampon stuck on its head.

At 216 metres in height, the tower is so tall it can be seen not only anywhere in the city, but even when you're miles and miles outside city limits. Once again, in a city known for castles, stone bridges, and ancient town squares, a gigantic tower right in the middle is the last thing you'd expect to see here. Of course, because of the political situation at the time, local residents were not able to protest the construction of the tower. And, to add insult to injury, the Communists actually tore up part of an ancient cemetery in the quiet residential neighbourhood of Zizkov to built the damn thing! Wow - talk about a tower with bad ju-ju! Even the dead hate this tower!

If a giant rocket launchpad/hypodermic needle/tripod-with-tampon wasn't enough, David Cerny, a local artist, decided to put his own special flavour on the tower in 2000. He added ten sculptures of giant black babies crawling up and down the pillars. Yes, you read right - giant black babies. The most common immediate response that comes to mind at seeing these babies is, "WTF!!??" They really have to be seen to be believed - check out the photos below...

So, in case you can't tell already, me and the tower aren't exactly BFF. I adore Prague, every inch, every crevice, every cobblestone and alley, every gothic church and art nouveau balcony - except The Zizkov. I live in a neighbourhood right nextdoor to Zizkov called Vinohrady, and so I see the tower every single day on my way to the metro. After having been forced to stare at the damn thing every single day, I have gotten a bit used to seeing it. Like the locals after it was first completed, I absolutely despised it for the longest time, merely hated it with dark passion for quite a while after that, and am now starting to enter the 'not noticing it so much' stage. Hmmm... Where is this heading?

I've protested the tower by refusing to go up it (there's an observation deck, as well as a restaurant and cafe), but couldn't resist taking a few snaps of it the other day for my photography project (more on this later...) Scroll down to see the rest of my tower pictures, and feel free to draw your own conclusions. The Zizkov Tower - a modern architectural masterpiece simply ahead of its time and worthy of praise and glory? Or an ugly scar on Prague's skyline that will forever remind locals of the fucked-up Communists? (I'll choose the latter, thanks!)

See...I wasn't lying about the babies!

Here's two pictures of the beautiful old cemetery that was torn up to build the tower.

Yeah you better keep crawling away from me, you baby bitch, cause if I catch you I'm gonna kic your ass!!!

One baby on the lower left scurries away to seek shelter from my promised violence, while he sends backup down on the right. "Yeah, bring it, baby...you wanna fuckin' fight? I'll take all ten of you on at once! If I don't blow up your frickin' tower castle hiding place/playground first! Whattya gonna do then? You wouldn't be so cheeky without your fucking pillars to crawl up and hide!"

Great News!

2007-01-19T17:19:00.000+01:00

Guess who *FINALLY* has a flat!!!

SCOTTY!!!!

YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the world’s longest search ever for a flat, I’ve finally found a place to live! But man did I ever have to work my ass off to get one…

When I came back from holidays, I decided to, once again, revamp my Plan of Attack for finding accommodation. Realizing that I really couldn’t afford to live by myself after all, I decided to pursue a new option – flat sharing. By changing my search to looking just for a room within an already-occupied flat, I opened up my options big time. And with most of these postings to be found on expats.cz – Prague’s English website for foreigners – I could actually do this search all on my own and not have to burden Ivana with it anymore.

But, despite the plethora of flats to be found on the website, it again turned out to be much harder than I originally thought it would be. I must’ve looked at at least half a dozen flats within a week and a half, and most of them just weren’t places I’d actually want to live in. Either too dirty, too sparsely furnished, too far from work, or occupied with weirdos, the pickings were pretty slim.

And then I finally found a great place, to be shared with three international students, but I was person #5 of a good 12-15 people they were interviewing for the room. God, such competition! Looks like everybody and their dog is looking for a place… So not only do I have to find a flat that I like, I then have to be chosen, like in some reality-show competition, in order to move in. Frig! Needless to say I didn’t get chosen for this flat, and I was totally bummed out.

But then a new posting came up a week later, and I knew that this was the one! I was the first in line to be ‘interviewed’, immediately clicked with the guy living there who was in search of finding someone new, and found out the next morning that the place was mine! And let me tell you how awesome it is…

It’s a HUGE ROOM in a 3-bedroom flat shared with two cool guys – 22yo Marco from Spain, and 27yo David from Wales (we’ll be quite the international house!) I’m buying the furniture in the bedroom for dirt cheap, and so I’ll be getting a huge bed, a COUCH, a desk and chair, a shelf, and a wardrobe for my clothes. And the room has wifi!

And the location can’t be beat – it’s right in central Prague, near Karlovo Namesti. I’ve got a tram stop right out front of the building (including 4 night trams) and am only a block away from the metro! SWEET! So it’s all of this, and somehow, it’s the cheapest place that I’ve viewed! Talk about a major score!!

I can’t emphasize enough how big the room is…I could easily conduct yoga classes in my room! (This means that I’ll have PLENTY of space to host out-of-town guests…Hello Lydia & Danielle in May!) So, with my new fab flat, consider this blog posting to be *your* personal invitation to come and stay with me in Prague, absolutely anytime you like!

I can’t tell you what a huge relief it is to have this taken care of. I’ve been couch-surfing it at Carolyn’s for three and a half months now, and as much as I truly appreciate her gracious hospitality, it’s soooo time to have my own place. Just imagine…a real proper bed! Not living out of a suitcase! Four walls and a door to make a space that’s just for me! Wow, what luxuries! Hehe… As you can tell, I’m pretty damn stoked about it! Moving day is Feb. 1st, so the countdown is on. I’ll post pictures as soon as I move in.

A new chapter begins in Scotty’s Prague Saga…

Scandalous SLEDD!

2007-01-18T14:53:00.000+01:00

Okay here they are, as promised! The scandalous photos from my SLEDD camp party! And oh what a party it was... Cause you know what they say... "There ain't no party like a SLEDD camp party!!!" ;-)

Scroll below and see what happens when 6 youngins gather in a remote winter cabin and consume copious amounts of alcohol. HELLO DANCE PARTY! :-) Enjoy, and Lydia, Eric, Emily, Derek and Danielle...try not to be *too* embarrassed! ;-)

Love you guys!!!

Welcome!!! Eric, Danielle, and Emily , as adorable as can be, cuddle it up in the kitchen!

The camp may look all quiet and peaceful and innocent on the outside...but on the inside it's a different story!

Danielle's SO HUNGRY for the pizza she's just gonna start eating it now, in the raw! Slow down, girl!

Check it out! Our Pizza Hostess with the mostess...

It was a bit chilly inside the camp, so I decked everyone out in wool socks courtesy of Grandma (minus Emily's red generic store-brand socks!)

StudFactor3000! Derek and Eric...their names even rhyme!

The Cranium Scandals begin! Lydia shows off her rendition of "push-up bra".

Danielle's a great artist - check out her "square dancing!"

Is Derek showing us a new yoga move, or some tantric sex position he picked up in the subway in Toronto? Nope - he's doing his best imitation of Lara Croft! The most surprising aspect of this is that Eric was actually able to guess it, in about three seconds!

The drawing was of acne (with my eyes closed), but I'm not even going to tell you what Dani thought it was! (think dirty...*really* dirty!)

"Quelle-que chose a boire?" Lydia shows off the plethora of bevvies available.

Scotty + Emily = Uber Adorable!

Strike a pose, kids!

Ohhh gotta love that Double D factor of Dani & Derek!

Everyone loves a good kitchen counter chat!

And the molestation begins... Emmy's Scotty's first victim, but she seems to be, in the spirit of Mickey D's, "lovin' it!"

If there's anything that SLEDD is famous for, it's legendary Dance Parties! Emily & Eric burst into dance at the mere intro of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!"

Sexy babes!

Wow! That's a whole lotta teeth...

Dance Dance Dance!

Dani demonstarting clearly the benefits of a good conditioner. What gorgeous hair!

Wow! Both Scotty & Derek are *really* excited about something! Could it be "Mr. Roboto?"

Could it be "Thriller?" Either way, Emily looks pretty damn thrilled!

Dani and Scotty breaking out into some choreography.

Everyone's into it now!

Oh here it is...Molestation #2! Lydia looked far too peaceful in the chair, so Scotty had to make sure that she didn't feel left out from the fun!

Look what's making a second appearance at a camp party - Scotty's Belt! And look at Danielle's face - she couldn't be more excited about it! Like she's been waiting for The Belt all night long!

Yep, it's a fact...when it comes to The Belt, Dani's gagging for it!

Man it's amazing what you can get away with when girls think you're... ;-)

Yep we're cute!

And completely sloshed!

Wrestle time! Emily loves gettin' it from two guys at once!

The SLEDD gang the morning after!

Actually, these days it should be called SLEEDD! Is Eric the new 6th member of the band?

SURPRISE!

2007-01-18T14:18:00.000+01:00

So you may have noticed the lack of blog entries for late December. Hmmm…where did Scotty disappear to? Did he fall off the map? Well, that’s partially true…he did, in fact, fall off the European map…

…and then reappeared on the North American map!

Yes, you read correctly, Scotty went home for Christmas this year!

In mid-November my parents surprised me with the ultimate gift – a free plane ticket home for the holidays! I was so shocked with this offer, as it was completely unplanned and we had never talked about me going home for Christmas prior to this. The funny thing is, I had really, really been wanting to go home for Christmas this year, but wouldn’t allow myself to seriously consider it. At one time I had thought about splurging and buying myself a ticket home, and then make it a surprise and not tell anyone and then just show up at home one day… But, looking at the prices, I realized that this was far out of my reach thanks to my meager Czech wages.

Sooo, when Mommy-Mo said she wanted me home for Christmas, I jumped at the chance! Together we researched online and found a ticket that wasn’t too exorbitant, and with an extra week approved as time off from my school, I had a full two weeks off for Christmas! WOO HOO!

To make it that much more fun, and to keep some bit of a surprise element in the trip, I decided not to tell my friends that I was coming home. (And that’s also why you didn’t read about this in the blog beforehand!) I couldn’t wait to surprise them by showing up at their door completely unannounced. SLEDD is gonna go wild!

I woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday, Dec. 16th and made my way to the airport. I had a long journey ahead of me, but overall it was smooth sailing all the way. It was only an hour and a half on KLM to Amsterdam, and with just a short layover I thought I could hang out and take some time to meander through the ginormous Schipol Airport. Well, security had other ideas for me… The American security was absolutely ridiculous – it was bloody ‘Level: Orange’ in the States while I was traveling, which meant huge line-ups for security and than a private interview for each passenger before getting on the plane…WTF?)

After dancing through the security hoops we were finally able to board the big bird that would fly us all the way from Amsterdam to Minneapolis – a 9 hour-long journey that took us over the North Sea, Scotland, just south of Iceland and Greenland, and then over Labrador, Northern Quebec, Northwest Ontario (‘ello Thunder Bay down below!) and then finally into Minnesota.

And, I have to confess, I have a whole new level of respect for Northwest. I used to seriously dislike the airline, even going as far to call them ‘Northworst’, the catchy nickname for them I picked up from my Korea buddy Michael. But, I have to say, this time I was really impressed. Northwest has bought new Airbus A330’s for all of their transatlantic flights, and so each seat comes with your own personal entertainment centre. You get your own little screen, and a choice of at least 30 movies that you can start and stop anytime, plus hundreds of songs where you can make your own private playlist. They even have a few computer games, and for the geography geek in all of us, cool maps and satellite images of the globe, so you can see exactly what the plane is flying over. Way cool! I was entertained the whole time, and the food was pretty good too. Maybe Northwest isn’t so bad after all! ;-)

I had a six-hour layover in MSP, but no need to be bored! My good pal Becky, who I’ve known since high school, lives in the Twin Cities with her son, and she was sweet enough to meet me at the airport and take me out for dinner with her new man. The four of us had a lovely meal at IHOP and it was great to be able to catch up with Becky. On the way back to the airport I even got to have a quick peek at Becky’s new home. And then I was back on the plane – again – for the last leg to Thunder Bay.

I landed just before midnight and it was so completely wonderful to walk through the doors and see my excited Mom, Dad, and sister waiting for me in eager anticipation! I had missed them dearly while away and it was a big happy reunion in the middle of the airport, very Kodak moment, very airport arrival scene from ‘Love Actually.’ :-)

Home was fully decked out for the holidays, and I stayed up a bit before finally crashing. I had been awake for just over 24 hours at that point (other than a few short naps on the plane) and really, really needed to go to sleep.

The next day was especially wondrous and memorable. After a delicious breakfast with the family, I decided to head out into Thunder Bay to try and find my friends. I couldn’t wait to see their faces when I surprised them! I had no idea where they’d be, but I figured that Starbucks would be a good place to start. That turned out to be the best idea ever…

As I was walking up to the big glass doors of the café I looked in and saw Danielle out bussing some tables, and Derek (who now lives in Toronto, and was also just home for the holidays.) Wow – two birds with one stone! This is gonna be good…

Derek saw me just before I entered the store, and there was a short two-second delay, as it took a moment for his brain to process the image of me…in Starbucks…in December…when I’m supposed to be in Prague. He let out a huge “WHAT!!!???” that caused everything in the café to stop and every single head turned towards the scream, and he ran and attacked me with the most massive of hugs, a flying fury of beard and hair. Danielle turned to see what all the fuss was about, and then I think she went into the Ninth Level of Shock at the sight of me! She walked over and threw herself into the unbelievably joyous HugFest, and then she started crying, and I started crying, and even Derek got all teary-eyed… It was a very amazing, emotional moment that I’ll certainly remember for as long as I live! I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction from the ‘Double D’ component of SLEDD!

With two more missing componentg of SLEDD still left to find, Derek and I made our way to the mall to try and surprise Emily. Derek attempted to lead her out of the store eyes-closed to maximize the surprise factor, but Emmy and her suspicious/uber-curious nature wouldn’t have any of that! I jumped out from behind the corner and we had another huge warm public embrace!

Lydia was a bit harder to track down… She wasn’t at work, and when we went and buzzed her apartment we got no answer at all… Where could the girl be? Her car was in the driveway so she should be home… We tried buzzing and knocking some more, and then finally a very sleepy Lydia poked her head out from the window upstairs, stared for about five long seconds in silence, and then yelled out “What the fuck!” Once more hugging and dancing took place a few moments later. SURPRISES ARE GREAT!! :-)

With word out it didn’t take long for the news to spread, so in fact a few surprises that I had planned, including Eric, Emma, Wendy, and Ellen found out before I got to them. But I was still able to surprise Jason, Karen (sorta, she actually surprised me in the line at Starbucks one day), Carley, Sarah, Cindy, Kate, and Ryan & Mandy. It was so wonderful to see all my friends, and I got to spend a lot of time with them hanging out and catching up.

The two weeks at home fly by in such a flash. I hate how holidays always move along at such a mach speed! There was virtually no snow this Christmas, but I got to spend the holiday with my whole family so it didn’t matter to me. We had our traditional ‘Toblerone Night’ and spent some time playing games as well.

And as for my friends, well most of my time was spent just relaxing around at someone’s house, but I did host a party at my camp that was a total blast! Lots of music, lots of dancing, lots of drinking, as well as rousing game of Cranium (including some *hilarious* guesses from Danielle!) and some good ol’ fashioned story-telling in the kitchen. Yes, the party had it all, and everyone had a blast. I have lots and lots of incriminating photos…perhaps a few will make it onto the blog site soon! ;-)

Before I knew it, it was New Year’s Eve and time to go back. Sad goodbyes all over again, but less emotional this time than when I first left in August. I know I’ll be seeing my parents soon this summer, and Lydia and Danielle have promised to come visit me this spring, so I have lots of guests to look forward to. I doubt I’ll be back in Thunder Bay any time soon – probably not at all in 2007 in fact – but this visit was one that I really needed, and I now feel strong enough to be away from home for quite a long time.

New Year’s Eve 2006 (or is it 2007? Which year do we use?) turned out to be as non-existent as could be. My plane took off from Minneapolis at around 11pm Central Time, and then next thing I knew we were being served dinner, and it was already 1am Eastern Time (shit! Did we miss it? Or do we use the time zone that we’re currently over? I’m so confused…) and then, unexpectedly, after dinner I fell asleep…and woke up as we were descending into the Netherlands! Shit! Wow! I slept the whole way across the Atlantic! So….uhhh….welcome 2007….? Very strange indeed…

My Czech buddy Stepan was kind enough to pick me up at the airport that evening and drive me back to the flat, but the ride turned out to be a lot longer than we imagined. Prague has a fireworks show for both the 31st and the 1st, and I had arrived just in time to get stuck in the traffic jam for the show. Beautiful fireworks exploded in the sky and it was a nice welcome back to Prague. It’s time to go back to work tomorrow…blah…holiday times are over. But what a great one it was!!! :-)

The Wonders & Terror of Christmas

2006-12-13T16:34:00.000+01:00

Ahhh yes… Christmas is upon us already. You know what that means: holiday decorations and brightly-lit Christmas trees, frenzied shopping to find that elusive perfect present, and adults dressed up as devils threatening to take misbehaving small children to hell.

Yep, it’s the holiday season here in the Czech Republic! ;-)

November flew by in a flash and before I knew it I was plunged into Full Christmas Glory. And WOW what a glory it is here in Prague. When the Czechs do Christmas, they sure don’t hold back. It seemed that almost overnight the Czech capital was transformed into this glowing, glittering Christmas Wonderland. Every street has been dressed up with lights and decorations. Holly and ribbons are everywhere. No streetlamp has been left un-Christmasfied. Whole streets are decked from head-to-toe in long intricate interconnected strings of sparkling white lights. And massive Christmas trees are the centrepiece of every city square. Prague is gorgeous on a regular day, but now it looks like a cross between Disneyland, The North Pole, and a massive department store after a holiday-obsessed interior decorator has ‘gone wild’ and been left to run amok. It’s very pretty, but very much like Christmas On Steroids. You better be in the holiday spirit, cause if not it’s gonna be shoved down your throat anyway!

But, luckily for me, I adore Christmas, and have allowed myself to be swept up in all the holiday hype. Sure the squares may be insanely crowded with shoppers, but there’s something magical about standing at the foot of Winceslas Square, surrounded by two dozen stalls in the Christmas market, and just pausing a moment to take in all the sights and smells. Mulled wine, roasting chestnuts, fresh and warm sweet doughy rolls. Shoppers’ arms laden with presents. Children giddy over the huha of it all (and high on a sugar rush.) A medley of holiday tunes pouring out of every shop. And the glittering dome of the National Museum looking out over it all. Even the scroogiest of Scrooges would have to admit that it’s a pretty sight.

Old Town Square is even more beautiful, with the largest Christmas tree that I have ever seen in my life towering over its own market, and they even have a petting zoo and live theatre for the kids. There’s something about the click clack of horse hooves and carriages on cobblestones, and enormous gothic cathedrals lit up all aglow, that make one feel even more in the spirit. Now, if only there was some snow to give it a white dusting…

The Czechs have some interesting Christmas traditions that are quite different from Canada’s. December 24th is their big day, and also when they have the traditional holiday meal of carp, fish soup, and potato salad. Not quite the turkey-mashed potato-stuffing-candied yams-cranberries-pumpkin and apple pie combo that I’m used to, but it sounds….maybe yummy? Lol

And presents are not brought by Santa Claus and reindeer overnight on Christmas Eve, but rather delivered to each living room by Baby Jesus himself. Don’t ask me how he gets around (flying crib? Levitating diapers? A jet-like manger?) but sometime during dinner he shows up (unseen of course) and after the meal the family gathers and opens up all their presents then.

And then, my favourite Czech Christmas tradition of all, actually takes place on December 5th. This day is called Mikolaus Day, which roughly translates to St. Nicholas Day. They don’t have Santa, but they do have St. Nick, only he comes a bit earlier…and he doesn’t travel alone…

So get this… On the 5th he comes into town to deliver sweets and small presents to kids, but he’s brought two buddies with him. The first is an angel, who asks the children if they’ve been good, and rewards them with a candy if they can recite a poem or sing a song for her. And the second of Mikolaus’ small entourage is the devil himself, interrogating and frightening the children, warning them that if they’ve been bad he’s gonna take them to hell.

Wow! Back when I was a kid the worst that we could expect if we were bad was either no presents at all, or at the very absolute worst a piece of coal in our stockings. Apparently the possibility of finding non-renewable fossil fuels in your holiday stocking is not enough for the Czechs, and they take this ‘good behaviour through bribes and coercion’ a little more seriously! Nothing quite like the threat of a one-way trip to hell to encourage your four-year old to go to bed on time or eat all their veggies at dinner time! ;-)

But the thing is, it’s not just a story that you tell the kids, oh no, they actually dress up and act it out! So, on December 5th, all over town, you can see Mikolaus/angel/devil trios running around chasing/enticing/rewarding/scaring children. Parents will have family friends dress up to play the parts and come and visit the house. And if their kids have been especially bad that year, they’ll provide the devil (in advance) with a list of all their little crimes committed during the year, just to let the kids know that the devil really is watching, and knows what you’re up to all year long! Hilarious!

Learning about new customs and traditions is one of the great joys of living in a foreign country, and the Czech Christmas traditions have been no exception! Not sure what I can expect for Easter (a rabid Easter Bunny who offers either chocolates or a lifetime of rage-induced foaming-at-the-mouth fits, depending on how well-behaved the kids have been?) but I can’t wait to find out! ;-)

Flat Frustration

2006-12-13T16:00:00.000+01:00

Ugh.

That’s how I feel right now in regards to my living situation. Where to begin?

Well I’ve been looking for a flat for the last two and a half months, but ultimately it has been completely unsuccessful, and technically I’m still homeless. I’ve been camping it out at Carolyn’s since September 30th, and all of our efforts to look for a place to live have fallen apart.

Back in October Alasdair and I decided it would be cool to share a place together, and started our Great Flat Search 2006 with the help of our good friend Ivana. We naively thought that in just a week or two we’d be able to secure something, but this proved to be quite delusional. We were searching for a furnished, 2-bedroom flat somewhere relatively close to the city centre, either in Vinohrady, Zizkov, or Vrsovice ideally, but apparently these don’t exist. We searched and searched and searched, and either places would claim to be 2-bedroom but what they actually meant was that one person would have a bedroom and another would live in the living room (forget that!), or weren’t furnished, or were way out in the sticks far from the city centre, or were way out of our price range.

And then, by a miracle of all miracles, a place that met our criteria would magically appear, only we’d phone to find out that it had already been taken. Or, we’d set up an appointment to view a place, and then on the day of, or merely a few hours before our viewing time, they’d phone us back and say it was just taken! Ultimate rage! Since neither Al nor I speak Czech, poor Ivana has been acting as our devoted middle man and making all our phonecalls and arrangements. Having the Czech connection has helped a lot, but even she has become frustrated with the whole process.

Well this game went on for about two months until December rolled around, and we reached a breaking point. Nearing desperation, Al and I decided that maybe, in addition to continuing looking for 2-bedroom flats, we’d also look for places where we’d be living in our own, and whatever came along first, we’d take. We were saddened at the thought of us good buddies being separated, but I guess at this point beggars can’t be choosers, right?

And then, in the last week or so, things started to look up for us. Ivana had been working hard with a new agent to line-up some new flats, and then, the ultimate flat appeared. It was a studio/bachelor (or 1+1 in Czech terms), furnished, in a nice neighbourhood not too far out from the city centre, on a tram/night-tram line, and within my price range! I checked out some photos of it online and it appeared to be a clean, cute, charming flat. Wow! Just what I’ve been looking for!! We made an appointment to view it the next day and I crossed my fingers. Things just felt right with this flat, and I had confidence that it was going to work out.

And then, with only a few hours left before viewing time, Ivana phoned to tell me that our appointment had been cancelled. Apparently the flat is owned by an old lady who doesn’t own a cell phone, and the real estate agent lady had been trying for two days to get a hold of her to set up the viewing, and hadn’t had any luck at all. BUT, another flat had come up, and this one was a 2-bedroom (called 3+1 in CzechLand) and we could check it out that day. Hooray!

Al and I met up with Eva and Anna (two other Czech friends who have been total sweethearts by acting as our translators during our views) to go and see this new possibility. Turned out that the flat was in a rather dodgy neighbourhood, but we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

We went inside and the flat was pretty much a dive. It was old and ugly, and nearly completely devoid of furniture anyway. One bedroom had nothing but a floor and four walls, and the other was filled with FUGLY Communist shelving built into the walls. It even had a bed built into the shelf. The bathroom was alright, and so was the kitchen, but the living room didn’t have nary a sofa, table, or chair in sight. Empty. The only thing cool about the flat was that it had quite a nice view of the city from it’s 7th floor balcony, but you can’t move into a crap apartment just cause you like the view from the balcony! We turned it down immediately, but I emphasized to the agent that I’d *really* like to view the first flat, and that if she got a hold of the mysteriously disappearing old lady to please let me know ASAP.

The weekend went by and still no word on the old lady, or any new flats. Then Ivana phoned with some news that another 1+1 had come up! It wasn’t in the best location, and was a bit out of my price range, but I thought I’d go and look at it anyway. Who knows, maybe it’s like this secret gorgeous luxurious penthouse suite overlooking the castle and river with built-in jacuzzi and cabana boy? I guess we’ll see…

The appointment was for quite early in the morning, on a day when I didn’t have to wake up early for classes. I woke up, got showered and dressed, and was just about to head out the door when… Yes, you guessed it… We found out that flat had already been taken… FUCK FUCK FUCK! Somebody got to the cabana boy before I did? DAMMIT!

And yes, still no word on the old lady. Surely at this point she must be dead. I mean no one’s away from their land-line phone for *that* long! I told Ivana to tell the agent that if the old lady had kicked the bucket I’d still take the flat. Nothing that a little Febreze can’t take care of! ;-)

In the meantime, Alasdair started his own solo-flat search. Well guess what? He got the first place he looked at. The first bloody flat!!! WTF? I’ve been searching high and low for weeks now and no luck, and he finds a home in a day. Man, I just don’t get it. Granted, his is shared accommodation with two Finnish girls, and I’m looking to live alone (selfish Scotty), but still….give this Canadian a break!!

So here I am, mid-December, and still sans-flat. I’m frustrated and feeling deflated, but will continue on. I mean, really, what other choice do I have? All I can say is thank god for Ivana who’s been my real estate saviour here…otherwise I would’ve gone mad ages ago.

Well it’s almost Christmas, and the weather has turned cold, but I’ve since turned my gaze to Charles Bridge… Surely there must be some cubby-hole under the bridge that I can move into? At least with living there I would indeed have fab views of the river and castle… And hey who knows, maybe there’s some homeless lonely cabana boy also taking shelter under the bridge? Hmmm…things are looking up? ;-)

Have Holiday, Will Travel

2006-12-09T18:00:00.000+01:00

...sounds like a good philosophy to me! :-)

Mid-November rolled around and a random Czech holiday had nearly snuck up on me. November 17th is The Struggle For Freedom & Independence holiday here in CR, and this year it fell on a Friday. My classes for Thursday had also been cancelled, so this left our young protagonist with a very rare and precious 4-day weekend. What’s a boy to do when he’s got four days off from work and no prior commitments?

He goes to Berlin, that’s what he does! ;-)

I’ve got a good friend who I hadn’t seen in ages living in Berlin, and with the German capital being only a short 5-hour train ride away from Prague, this was an opportunity too good to give up. For all of you committed h-core bloggies, you’ll remember my friends Clara and Maddie – two German girls that I met during my hellish 3-day journey by land from rural remote northern Laos to middle-of-nowhere Vietnam last August during Project Wanderlust. Well I’ve stayed in touch with the girls, and Clara was very kind to offer up her place for me to say. Woohoo!

I boarded the train at Hlavni Nadrazi (Czech for ‘Main Station’) and thoroughly enjoyed the ride to Berlin. The train journey was smooth and very relaxing – and also very scenic. The whole leg from Prague to the Czech/German border followed along the winding Vltava River in a steep valley, and I was awarded with fine river views on this beautiful day. Crossing the border was a breeze, and with two more stamps added into my passport (Score! Let’s rack ‘em up! My brand new passport is far too empty and virgin-like…) I crossed into Deutschland just like that. The rest of the ride was through flat countryside, but it was very green and serene. And full of way-cool wind farms!

On a side note, you may be interested to know that Germany is one of Europe’s leaders in providing alternative sources of energy for its citizens. I saw literally dozens upon dozens of huge wind mills all along the way – quite graceful and pretty in their own way, if you ask me – and it was inspiring to see a country be so dedicated to renewable energy. I wish that the Czech Republic – and Canada for that matter! – put more of an effort into green energy. Go Germany!

The journey to Berlin may have been smooth and peaceful, but my arrival was not. Prior to departing Prague, I had made arrangements with Clara to meet her at Zoo Station. Berlin’s got several large train stations throughout the city, and not knowing which one my train would arrive in, we chose the mainish station that was most convenient for her. Well you know what they say about ‘best-laid plans’ and all that jazz…

The train rolled into Huptbaunhof – Berlin’s brand spanking new Central Station (why hadn’t we thought of meeting here?? Oh the irony of logic sometimes!) Clara was not in sight, and I was not able to reach her on my mobile (which had ceases operational status upon entry in Germany). So, being the intrepid and independent traveller that I am, I thought I’d be uber-savvy and find my own way to Zoo Station to meet her. Zoo Station was only three stops away on the S-Bahn (an elevated train, quite similar to Vancouver’s SkyTrain) and on the way there I was so proud of myself for finding my own there and figuring out the colourful snakes-and-ladders network that is Berlin’s mass transit. Sometimes I’m so clever I even impress myself!

Hmmm…don’t be so quick to pat yourself on the back, Scotty!

I arrived at Zoo and was slightly confused when I couldn’t find Clara there either. Turns out that she had realized our station mix-up quite a while before I did, and had gone to the Central Station to meet me! Somehow in the chaos of the station we didn’t see each other on the platform, and thinking that I had accidentally stayed on the train, she hopped on the s-Bahn herself to chase the train to one of Berlin’s northern stations. And, unsurprisingly, couldn’t find Scotty there either!

It was at this point that I decided to swallow the bitter pill of defeat and attempt to use a German public phone to give Clara a ring. This proved to be more difficult than I anticipated, and was only successful I garnering angry recorded messages from the German Operator Lady. Hmmm….now what?

After receiving some rather confusing instructions from the young boy working at the station’s info desk, I gave the payphone another go and this time it worked. A relieved Clara instructed me very specifically to meet her at the McDonald’s at Zoo and to not go anywhere else, and so that I did.

Twenty minutes later Clara showed up, and it was so wonderful to see her. She looked so fresh and clean and stylish – quite a contrast from the last time I saw her, where we had been awake all night on a god-awful tourist bus in Vietnam, and lord knows when we had last showered at that point… It’s a wonder what giving someone a shower, some make-up, and putting them in fashionable non-backpacker clothes can do to change one’s appearance!

Clara then brought me to her English class at Berlin Free University where she studies Business. It was pretty cool actually – her fellow students were all very bright and friendly, and had an excellent command of English. I was a bit of a ‘special guest’, and got to mix and mingle with the students while they were working in their discussion groups. Cool stuff. Both of us felt pretty beat, so after class went back to Clara’s for some pizza delivery and crashed early.

The next day was a fantastic and fun-filled day! Clara had school all day so this gave Scotty the chance to take another stab at being the intrepid, independent traveller. I dusted off my ‘Scotty Takes On Berlin’ cap and headed out for a full day in the city all on my own.

Berlin turned out to be a truly fabulous city, and won me over immediately. Berlin is not at all what you would expect. Most people I know have images of the German capital as being this somewhat boring, stuffy, grey, dirty, concrete Communist sprawl, lacking the sparkle and glitter of other European capitals. Well, those images are completely wrong. Berlin may have had shades of those stereotypes at one time, but certainly not now. Berlin is a city that has come so far in such a short time. The city is a true survivor, and has reinvented itself a number of times. Left completely devastated and in total ruin after The Second World War, the city has managed to pull the pieces back together, and become one of the continent’s – no, the world’s – most cosmopolitan, vibrant, and dynamic urban centres. Berlin may have been bombed to hell and burnt to the ground, fought over and ripped apart, divided and split, conquered and liberated, shattered apart and torn to shreds thanks to the woes and whims of war and larger powers, but the city, like a phoenix rising out of the ashes (such a cliché, I know, but completely and perfectly appropriate for here) has been reborn as something new. Berlin may still have many scars left from her past, but she now wears them with honour, proud of what she’s become, and determined to move on – but never forget- her terrible past.

Sprinkled with as many modern architectural wonders as historical treasures, Berlin is a grand city with wide, sweeping boulevards, beautiful monuments from times past, enough world-class museums to rival London or Paris, an exciting nightlife that could keep pace with New York, and more greenery than almost any other European capital. Determined to see as much of this grandeur as I could, I set out on an ambitious agenda.

Beginning with a morning walk along the river, I ended up at Reischstag – the German parliament and Berlin’s most popular landmark. The Reischstag is a microcosm of Berlin herself. Having been burnt and destroyed in fires and war, the building received a new lease on life when Berlin was made the capital again after reunification, and reconstructed with a truly magnificent glass and steel dome designed by world-famous starchitect Sir Norman Foster. The dome offers stunning vistas of the whole city, and I took more pictures of the dazzling dome than I dare count.

Just a stone’s throw from the Reischstag is the Brandenburg Gate – Berlin’s other mega-popular landmark. The Brandenburg has somehow managed to escape war and division relatively unscathed, even with the fact that the Berlin Wall curtained her off from the West just a few metres away. With The Wall having been torn down, The Gate has regained her status as a central focal point for the city.

I took a few pictures here, and then turned around to see a – be still my beating heart – a real, honest-to-goodness Starbucks. Oh there is a god! Prague is sadly sans-Starbucks, and after my six-month employment stint for the corporate giant earlier this year, I’ve become quite addicted – and therefore in constant caramel macchiato withdrawal here in the Czech Republic. Well, some addictions you never give up, and this is one I was ready to jump back into, headfirst. And Oh My God did my cara-mac ever taste sinfully delicious! It was like the milk, espresso, vanilla, and caramel were having some kind of coffee orgy in my mouth. Oh please don’t stop now, oh yeah, that’s the spot. Mmmm….

After my defuckinglicious coffee treat I was tempted to have a cigarette, but passed up on the urge. Instead I made my way to Potsdamer Platz, another prime example of the city’s determination to rebuild. Potsdamer Platz was Europe’s busiest square – and one of Berlin’s poshest addresses – until WW2 came along. The square was blown apart and completely wiped off the map during the bombing, and then when the city was divided up by the powers that be, Potsdamer became a hellish no-man’s land where no one dared venture - unless they had a death wish. After reunification, Berlin was left with an urban wasteland right in the middle of the city, a disgusting blank space of an eyesore – and an urban planning opportunity like no other. The city took this chance to completely redesign a whole new old neighbourhood from scratch. Determined to make Potsdamer Platz the place to be again, PP was turned into Europe’s largest construction site. Fastforward a decade or so and today you’re left with an exciting, glittering, modern square full of offices and shops, parks and fountains, classy hotels, designer boutiques, and a full range of cafes and restaurants. And most importantly, people – lots and lots of people. Life has returned to PP in a big way, and no visit to Berlin is complete without a visit to this still-growing neighbourhood. Given my urban planning academic past, my pulse quickened upon nearing the square, and I spent a good part of the day just wandering around, taking it all in.

After Potsdamer I wandered around the city for a while longer, before making my way to Museum Island. Museum Island is just that – a small island in the river that is chock full of museums, all of which are large, gorgeous, and overflowing with paintings, sculptures, archaeological artefacts from every corner of the globe, and anything and everything else one would hope to find in a museum. I’m not sure how many museums there are in total, but the whole area now remains under the protection of UNESCO. I could only choose to visit one, and so I chose the grand-daddy of all museums – the Pergamon. The Pergamon is an archaeologist’s dream, and is full of antiquities from the world-over. It’s also mind-blowingly large, and in two hours I only had enough time to cover a small part of it. I took full advantage of the self-guided listening tour, and felt myself being drawn back in time as I meandered through the Ancient Greece wing. It was amazing!

I sadly had to depart the Pergamon much earlier than I would have liked (one could easily spend days and days there) and went to meet up with Clara at the Central Station again. We were meeting there cause Maddie, the third point in our lil German lovenest triangle, was coming in from Bremen to visit us for the weekend. After our happy reunion, we dropped off Maddie’s stuff at the flat and then went out for a delicious Persian dinner. Later on we met up with two of Clara’s schoolmates at a hot new nightclub, Magnet, for drinks and dancing. Magnet’s a rock club, and the five of us had quite a few beers and danced our asses off to the big rock hits. Good times had by all. I felt completely exhausted by the time we left, and it took forever and a day to get back to the flat. When we finally did I crashed and slept like the dead.

Clara and I woke up like around noon and so therefore had quite a late start to the day. When we finally dragged our butts out of the house we decided to go hang around Kurfurstendamm, or Kudamm as the locals call it. The Kudamm is a shopping mecca, and was absolutely packed with weekend shoppers when we were there. At the top end of Kudamm, near Zoo Station, is one of Berlin’s other more famous landmarks. It is here that lie the ruins of Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedachtniskirche, or Memorial Church. This was one of Berlin’s largest places of worship prior to the war. The church was hit directly during a bombing raid, but only partially destroyed. The skeletal remains of the church have been left standing untouched as a war memorial – and a reminder to all about some of the horrors of the city’s not-so-distant past. A very sobering and haunting landmark looming high over such a blatantly consumerist shopping area.

We also went to go and check out Checkpoint Charlie, which is in another area of the city. Checkpoint Charlie was one of the gates of the Berlin Wall where troops could pass between the two sides, and it was near here where many people tried to escape over the wall. Not a lot of the actual site remains, but nearby is a small but remarkable museum dedicated to the struggles that people had in trying to get out, by any means possible, of East Berlin. Some of the stories of creative ways that people tried to escape were quite unbelievable, ranging from digging long tunnels under the wall, to having secret compartments in cars for smuggling passengers, to families building their own hot air balloons to sail over the border into safe countries. We met up with Maddie later on and went to a birthday party of a friend of Clara’s. It was a Mexican restaurant and we enjoyed our meal while delving into some pretty deep philosophical conversations over dinner. We stayed til quite late and the headed home to sleep.

The next day, Sunday, was my last in town, and we decided to take it pretty easy. We went out for lunch to have kebaps – Persian meaty wrap-like things – quite tasty! We wandered around some cool neighbourhoods not far from the station, and Clara showed me some more traditional German hofs – small courtyard-like squares built inside buildings – that Berlin is known for. We of course made time for a Starbucks break, and then it was time for me to catch my train. I said goodbye to the lovely Clara and then enjoyed the quiet ride back to Prague. It was dark most of the way but a nice journey nonetheless.

I arrived back in Prague around 9:30pm at night and it was time to head home. Back to work tomorrow…bummer! But, it was truly a wonderful holiday, and I’d love to go back to Berlin again sometime. In my four days there I only touched a small part of the city’s sights, and I’d love to see more. And I absolutely love the fact that I am now living in a part of the world where for long weekends I get to go to cool places like Berlin! It sure as hell beats weekend trips to Duluth or Nipigon! Haha! ;-) I wonder where I’ll end up on the next long weekend?

And oh yeah, photos will follow soon! And there'll be a lot. A LOT.

Halloween Whores

2006-11-30T14:22:00.000+01:00

Whoa...hey...is that Scotty wearing....eye liner!!?? Yessirree....he sure is!

So Halloween is a relatively new holiday to the Czech Republic. They don't have the tradition of it, but due to exposure through film and television from further west, it's been seeping in and gaining popularity. Halloween fell on a Tuesday this year, but on the 30th, a Monday, a day when I have to get up at 5:40am for work (and just in case you weren't sure before, waking up at 5:40am = so not fun!! ) I heard word of a Halloween party... Having no intentions of going out for Halloween this year (where to go? I'm too tired... I don't have a costume... I have laundry to do...blah blah blah I was full of excuses.) But then Carolyn invited me to the Halloween party her school was throwing for the students.

I resisted at first, but Alasdair and Jo begged and pleaded and when their cries simply became too much, I folded. I didn't have a costume, but then it was suggested that I dress up as Brandon Flowers (lead singer of The Killers.) I think this was all just an excuse for Jo to have her dream come true of seeing me in eye liner, but I went along with it, and despite being quite squirmish during the makeup's application, kinda agreed that I did look rather hot afterwards. Hmmm...maybe there *is* a future for me as a rock star? ;-)

The party ended up being quite lame, but that didn't stop us from having a good time. We were all quite silly, and as a result the following pictures occurred. Take a peek, and have a good laugh as we whore oursleves up! Cause if Halloween isn't a perfectly good excuse to look and act like total hoes, then I don't what else is! Bring On The Debauchery!

Jo The Tawdry Bohemian Maiden, and Vampy Vampire Alasdair!

JoJo showing off her naturally abundant bussom!

Make Love To The Camera! Oooohhhh yeah that's it baby!

Al & I plan on posting this photo on our flat's front door to ward off potential salesman and invasive bible-boppers!

This shot makes me laugh every single time I look at it! We're all SO TRASHY! Loves it! (P.S. Notice where my left hand is...Oh My!)

Scandalous!

I'm supposed to be admiring Jo's best assets in this photo, but she claims that it looks like I'm about to head-butt her tits! What do you think?

Scotty molests Carolyn and Erika at the party. Hmmm...Scotty molesting innocent girls...looks like some things never change! ;-)

River Views

2006-11-30T13:53:00.000+01:00

All Smiles! Handsome Jarek welcomes all to Prague with a friendly face. :-)

Okay you're probably sick of me going on and on and on about how effing gorgeous Prague is, right? Well guess what...here's a few more pics for you to drool over. And notice that it's not just the landscapes that are beautiful in Prague! ;-) Here on this cool fall day Jarek and I took a walk in Letna - a large park that sits atop the Vltava's steep banks, offering some fab views of the city and its many bridges. Hummmmm....Scotty loves Prague... *happy sigh*

Jarek in the park.

The midieval Charles Bridge behind one of Prague's more modern crossings.

With goodlooking locals like this, who wouldn't want to take up residence in the Czech capital?

Medieval Magic

2006-11-29T14:53:00.000+01:00

The CK Gang! L-R: Laurie, Christine, Jo, Greg, and Sonja

Late October had come, all my Prague buddies and I were well settled into our new teaching careers, and I thought it was time to spice up our weekends. And so, I decided to introduce to the Czech Republic a time-honoured tradition that had been crafted by Michael and I in Korea so very well - The Weekend Getaway! Back in the Korean Day Mikey and I absolutely lived for our weekends out of town. Many of my best memories of Korea are of our little weekend trips we used to take, often with Eric, Addie, Pauline, or the rest of the gang in tow as well. Camping trips, river rafting, hiking, KTXing to Busan, road trips to random towns with strange and unusual landmarks....anything and everything was worth a go. There was even a stretch in Summer 2004 where Michael and I had seven consecutive weekend trips, all back-to-back. Such good times!

So, now I'm here in the CR and my god are there plenty of places to choose from! Where to go first? Well we all decided on one of Czech's most popular destinations - Cesky Krumlov. Cesky Krumlov is a gem of a little town, and quickly becoming a legend in Europe. Located in South Bohemia not too far from the Austrian border, Cesky Krumlov (CK) is a tiny midieval town that has been spared the ravages of not only two world wars, but somehow miraculously has also survived Nazi and Soviet occupation, and also modern development. To visit CK is to take a trip back in time. Upon entering this little riverside village you can instantly feel the centuries melt away, and you're suddenly immersed in a landscape of cobblestones and castles, stone bridges and town squares, churches and city gates. CK has changed very little since midieval times and now, despite the annual tsunamis of tourists that flood this little place, somehow remains peaceful and relaxed. Cesky Krumlov is so precious, in fact, that the entire town has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Located in a tight bend of the Vltava River, CK is bordered in by the water and a wall of rock, with the country's second largest chateaux guarding atop the riverside cliffs. It is completely gorgeous a simply magical little place if there ever was one. Instantly, we were all in love with the little town.

After a 2.5 hour bus ride (that turned into 3.5 after our bus rear-ended a car in a small town on the way down) we arrived in CK and sought out our accommodation. The six of us (Scotty, Jo, Sonja, Greg, Laurie, and her pal Christine visiting from Berlin) checked into our hostel and were pleased to be given our very own room - 6 beds and a little kitchen just for us. Perfect! We spent the rest of the first day just wandering around the labrynth of winding lanes, visited the beautiful and enormous church that lies right in the town centre, and just took in the relaxed atmosphere. We also visited Chateaux Cesky Krumlov - a huge castle quite different from Prague's. CK's castle is a sprawling complex much like Prague Castle, but instead of a cathedral in the middle, has a tall, round-shaped tower at one end, painted in a brilliant array of Easter-egg colours. We climbed the winding steps up the tower and were rewarded with a magnificent view of the little town below. Wow! We also took some time to explore the castle ground's sprawling gardens. It was the tail end of autumn's foilage and the gardens were a beautiful place to wander and explore at our leisure.

That night, we had dinner at a delicious vegetarian restaurant and then went on a 90-minute historical walking tour of the whole maze that is Cesky Krumlov. After our tour we had some drinks in the pub of our hostel, but after a long day, were feeling pretty beat so we decided to hit the hay. Bedtime was relatively early, but of course not before Scotty told some truly chilling 'True Stories Of Real Horror'. For those of you who have heard me recount such real-life tales of terror, all I have to say is the word "logging road" and you know *exactly* which story I'm referring to... *shudder*

Sunday was a nice chill-out day as well. We began with a loooooong brunch in the hostel, which I believe is always the best way to begin a Sunday morning. Laurie and Christine had to head back to town early, so the remaining 4 of us went into "12-year old Mode" and had a fun, silly, childish day. We ran around wandering and jumping through creek beds and off-limit fields, scampered up and down rocks and old staircases, meandered along the riverbanks and explored the ruins of an abandoned house, and later had some more play time in a park. The park was full of huge piles of leaves, and this was simply too good to resist. Massive leaf fights quickly ensued, as did squeals of delight and giggles all around. Greg found a soccer ball so we had a short game of 'boys vs. the girls' and resulted in a tied game. Such good ol' fashioned innocent fun! It was like being a young, care-free teenager again, such unabashed silliness and youthful recreation!

By this point it was already later afternoon and time to get ready to head back to the city. We gathered up our belongings and made our way to the train station. We decided to opt for rails instead of the road, and even though it was a longer ride, it was much more comfortable and enjoyable. The 4 of us took up residence in the train's dining car and spent the whole time sipping tea and hot chocolate, chatting, and playing some silly games. We arrived back in Prague around 9:30pm and it was time to head home.

Our weekend away in Cesky Krumlov was truly a breath of fresh air and a much needed escape from city life. CK deserives all the honours, praise, accolades, and attention that it gets. It is truly one of the most magical places that I have ever visited - completely romantic and serene - and is just how you would imagine a 'long lost midieval town' to be. Well worth a trip to anyone who's in this corner of the globe!

Cesky Krumlov's magnificen church.

A typically quaint and colourful street in CK.

Cesky Krumlov's town square. The column on the left is a memorial for everyone who dies in The Plague.

The Easter-Egg-like tower of Chateaux Cesky Krumlov.

Most of CK's steets are like this - stepped, narrow, winding. How romantic!

Atop the tower, The Sonj rules over all of CK below.

Looking down on picturesque Cesky Krumlov.

This is the bulk of the town - notice the church in the background.

From here you can see that the Chateaux is quite massive, and consists of several additions all connected together. One of the castle's many inner courtyards can be seen on the right.

I love this picture! The Vltava (yes, the same river that flows through Prague) wraps its way around CK like a snake.

Scotty & Jo: madly in love atop the tower! ;-)

A gap in the castle's walls makes for a perfect picture frame.

Cesky Krumlov as seen from the castle's gardens.

The Belles of Cesky Krumlov!

The impenetrable castle all lit up at night.

Jo, giddy with childish autumn glee, opens her arms and sets flight to an armful of leaves.

Sonja, in an autumnal trance-like state, becomes *one with the leaves* before setting them free to the world again.

Oh no! Not The Leaves again! Greg grimaces in fear as the leaves attack him a la Hitchcock's 'The Birds.'

The swarming contiues as Greg and Scotty fight for their lives from the attacking leaves!

Send Me Snailmail Love, Please!

2006-11-29T11:14:00.000+01:00

Yo! Wassup, peeps!

A few of my friends have been inquiring about my address so they can send me mail. YAH! I thought then I should share my address with everyone. So....if you ever feel the urge to send me fanmail, love letters, care packages, requests for autographs, pictures (nudie?), birthday or Christmas or Easter or St. Patrick's Day or hell even Victoria Day presents, then now you can! At long last! Hold back no more! Self-restraint is, like, sooo yesterday! Let the tsunami of snailmail for Scotty pour in! Woohoo! ;-)

Scott Erdman
c/o Caledonian School
Vltavska 24
150 00 Prague 5
Czech Republic

Kiss Your Doubts Goodbye!

2006-11-22T14:59:00.000+01:00

Just in case there was any doubt in your sweet little head that Prague is the most gorgeous city in the world, the following photos are *guaranteed* to shatter those uncertainties into a million little pieces!! :-)

At the end of October one Sunday we were blessed with yet another warm and sunny day - this time with skies of the clearest blue. Too gorgeous to pass up, I met up with my good friend Ivana to soak up the sun. We decided to spend the afternoon climbing up Petrin Hill - the largest of the hills that grace the city's landscape. Petrin is home to rich colouful forests with really nice hiking trails, and an observation tower on top. Does it look familiar? It should - Petrin Tower was designed as a mini version of Paris' Eiffel, and while only a fraction of the size of the real thing, it's hilltop perch allows for what must be, undoubtedly, the most gorgeous view of Prague that one could ever dream up. The view from the top was completely awe-inspiring and left me without words. (Amazing, considering what a chatterbox Scotty normally is!) Check out my photos below and I'm sure you'll feel the same way!

I'm not in Paris! It's Petrin Tower in Prague!

WOW! WOW! WOW! From here you can see Charles Bridge and Old Town.

The Vltava winds its way through the city while Prague Castle reigns high over it all.

No elevators here! Scotty makes the climb down in the tower's narrow stairwell.

If that isn't the most f-ing spectacular view of Prague, then I don't know what is! ;-)

Scotty & Ivana at the top.

Everybody's favourite Canadian expat! :-)

***So...have you bought your ticket to Prague yet? ;-) ***

The Tour Guide & The Tourists

2006-11-08T15:53:00.000+01:00

The haunting Jan Hus Monument in the middle of Old Town Square.

It's funny... I lived in Korea for a year and a half and only ever had one foreign visitor come and see me. (Yah Henry!) I've been in Prague not even two months and I've already Played Host twice - and both times in the same month! LOL

Christening my role as Scotty: The Czech Tour Guide were my good buddies Brad and Andrea. For those h-core bloggie fans, you'll remember Brad and Andrea as being two of my best buds back in my early days in Korea. They also got married in Vancouver in August and I was lucky enough to be co-emcee at their wedding. Well here they are again - this time in the Czech Republic on their honeymoon.

It was wonderful to see BnA again, even if I had just seen them 6 weeks before in Canada. I consider them two of my closest friends - and easily hands down as two of the coolest people I've ever met. They were only here for a week but got to see and do a lot. And, like me - and everyone else who comes to Prague - fell head over heels in love with the city. Prague just may be the easiest city in the world in which to play Tour Guide.

And me saying this - and putting it into writing no less - is a really big deal, as this is a title which I had previously reserved exclusively for Vancouver. Well Vancouver, shuffle over a bit cause you're gonna have to share the crown now with Praha. I've said it before, I'll say it right now, and no doubt I'll say it again and again in the future: Prague is really fucking gorgeous. If we were in Zoolander right now, Ben Stiller would describe Prague as "really really REALLY ridiculously good-looking."

And he'd be absolutely right. In a recent official government survey, it was discovered that the average time it takes for a human being to fall madly crazy ridiculously dangerously in love with Prague is about 14 seconds. Well okay I'm exaggerating here... Officially, statistically, it takes a maximum of about 24 hours, but I think 14 seconds, from a personal point of view, is much more accurate. Where else in the world can you find a city consisting of mind-blowingly gorgeous architecture, centuries upon centuries of spell-binding history, a twisting maze of cobblestone streets, enormous midivel squares thrown here and there, a bevvy of museums and art galleries to fill a year's cultural schedule, a relaxed pace of life that encourages - no demands - you to meander rather than race, lush green foilage blanketing gentle rolling hills, a calm meandering river wrapping it's way through the city core, an ancient enchanting statue-lined bridge that is guaranteed to take away your breath each and every time you cross it, friendly (and attractive!) locals, delicious and inexpensive local cuisine, the best beer you'll find anywhere on the planet, and a 1500-year old castle - the world's largest as well - looming high on a hill to reign over it all?

Try to beat that combination! No, really, go ahead and try. I freaking dare you! (You really can't, can you?) Shut up and admit defeat now...it's so much easier - and feels really damn good - to just give in completely right now and hand your heart over to Prague on a silver platter.) So pretty much my job as a tour guide - and really it's a role that I can barely mask as I'm still fully a tourist myself - consists of just making sure that we don't get lost as we wander from one gorgeous landmark/bridge/square/church/vantagepoint to another. It's a pretty darn amazing job if you ask me!!

Round 2 of tourists came only a week later in the form of Jenn and Lisa. Jenn is a childhood friend as she's been my sister's best friend since we were little, and Lisa is a friend of Jenn's who I had the pleasure of meeting for the first time when she arrived. And, like Brad and Andrea, the girls were swept up in the magic that is the Czech capital. I think I heard the phrases "Oh my god oh my god oh my god", "Wow it's just so beautiful!" and "I can't believe you get to live here!!" about a million times in their short 3-day stay. Yes girls, it's true, Scotty is one lucky bastard indeed! :-)

Besides doing the usual Prague Circuit Highlights, which are centred around Old Town Square, Charles Bridge, and Prague Castle, the girls and I managed to take a day trip to hit up Karlstejn. Karlstejn is an ancient castle just outside of Prague hidden away in some quiet lush hills. Karlstejn was built by Charles IV about 7 or 800 years ago to house the crown jewels and keep the bad men at bay, and with it's sheer enormity, thick inpenetrable walls, and perilous hilltop perch it did a good job at that.

Karlstejn is also an extremely beautiful place. It's the kind of castle that you fathom about when you're a child. It's something so perfectly magical that even Disney couldn't dream up something this gorgeous. For castle-lovers like myself it's completely awe-inspiring and romantic. And for the locals it's a tourist cash cow like there never was before. Hordes upon hordes of tourists descend upon the poor castle for half the year, but luckily the girls and I arrived at the very end of the season, just before Karlstejn closes up for the winter, and there was nary a crowd in sight. And, once again, Mother Nature rewarded us with truly gorgeous weather. Man, ol' Momma N must've gotten some lately or something cause she's been in *such* a good mood lately and has been so very very kind and generous to the Czech Republic. Sweet!!!

So, not that I needed a reminder, but running around the city playing tourist with good friends was a really solid affirmation that I live in what just may be the most beautiful city I've ever laid eyes upon (sorry Vancouver...once again this is a title - and a place in my heart - that you now have to share from now on...) I wish that I could import each and every one of you - all my friends and family members back home - so that they could come and see it and experience it and feel it for yourselves.

If my stories aren't enough, then the pictures below will surely be more than enough to convince you to run immediately to your local travel agent and buy a (one-way?) ticket to Prague. And you know that Scotty loves visitors, so don't ever feel shy about coming to stay with me. I'd love to have you. Prague's here waiting for you, and you won't ever be the same once you've met her. Even Kafka admitted that "this little mother has claws." And you can't argue with good ol' Franz, can you? ;-)

Prague's Old Town is a labrinth of winding lanes and graceful historical buildings. And all roads lead to Old Town Square it seems...

Wow! So beautiful! Prague is an architect's dream - and a historian's!

Massive old buildings line the borders of the Square, while quaint (and over-priced) cafes and terraces bring life to the cobblestone streets.

The massive St.Vitus Cathedral soars high into the sky right out of the middle of Prague Castle.

"A million little red roofs, glistening in the morning dew..." :-)

Brad and Andrea - the handsome couple above it all!

Charles Bridge - crowded with tourists as always - connects Mala Strana with Prague's Old Town.

How adorable! BnA cuddle up along the banks of the Vltava River.

This is one of Prague's most famous (and youngest!) landmarks. Known as The Dancing House (and also nicknamed the Fred & Ginger Building) this unique structure - which looks like a female leaning in to her male dancing conterpart - was designed by Prague architect Vlado Milunic and internationally-renowned Frank O. Gehry. Quite a striking addition to Prague's cityscape and one up for constant debate as to it's visual appeal.

How cute! Lisa & Jenn pose - with cameras in hand, as always - on the Charles Bridge. Enormous Prague Castle looms high on the hill behind them.

One of the many statues of saints that line the ancient bridge.

Charles Bridge - Prague's most precious landmark - and perpetually drowning in vendors' stalls and uber-excited tourists.

The Prague skyline as seen from the Castle.

St. Vitus Cathedral is a combination of both Gothic and Baroque architectural styles.

Jenn & Lisa - absolutely thrilled to be in the Czech capital!

Prague Castle and Charles Bridge - sparkling jewels in the city's crown lit up at night.

Wow! The Czech countryside near Karlstejn is Gorgeous with a capital 'G!'

The tranquil Vltava River drifts under the bridge ever so peacefully.

Magical Karlstejn Castle rules the village from high above on the hill. Take that, Disney! ;-)

Scotty smiles for the camera, excited for the journey up to Karlstejn.

Jenn & Lisa making the big descent up the hill to the castle. Phew! What a climb it was!

Scott & Jenn inside the grounds of the enchanting Karlstejn Castle.

The Perfect Fall Day - Times 2!

2006-11-06T14:52:00.000+01:00

The ruins of a castle...and a handsome Czech prince? ;-)

October may have started off all cold and rainy, but fortunately Mother Nature got her shit together and delivered up some truly gorgeous fall weather. For most of the month us Praguers had nothing but pure golden sunshine and bright crystal clear blue skies. Combine that with a brilliant blend of red, orange, and yellow thanks to the autumn leaves - and balmy temperatures in the mid-teens - and you're left with pretty much perfect fall weather. My good buddy Jarek and I decided to take full advantage of Mother Nature's temporary goodwill, and got our butts outside to enjoy the fall splendour. On two different days we went biking out in the Czech countryside and had an amazing time out in the fresh air.

It's incredible that just outside of Prague - quite a good size city at that - can all this nature be found right on your doorstep. That, and all these tiny little towns that feel like they exist on such a completely different pace of life than the capital right next door. Jarek and I spent the day biking up and down hills on country roads, wandering from one small village to another, racing along trails in the colourful forests and across wide open farmer's field - and then had a rest in the most magical of places.

We had just finished biking through some country orchards and a small forest, when there, all of a sudden, we came to this meadow where there was the ruins of a 700-year old castle! Jarek had known of it's location before, but it was like we had just accidentally came across it in this field. There it was - large and looming on the hill, half toppled in a heap of it's own debris, hinting at power and glory of days long gone. It literally took my breath away and I was swept up in it's crumbling majesty. Who had lived in this castle before? When was it abandoned? How much of this land had it ruled over? Why had it been left to just decay in lonely solitude?

The Czech Republic has more castles per square kilometre than any other country in the world, and they're literally all over the place. I just couldn't get over how fucking cool it is that I now live in a country where I can go for a bike ride and randomly come across the ruins of castles in the woods! WOW! We sure as hell don't have that at home in Canada! AMAZING!

Jarek and Scotty (with wind-swept hair!) take a break in the meadow below the castle ruins.

Jarek in an Action Shot! while biking through a field in the woods.

Scotty takes a short rest next to a rich green farm.

On our second day of bike riding, Jarek and I went exploring through a nature reserve just on the outskirts of the city. This time the terrain was much rougher. No castle ruins to greet us this time, but plenty of beautiful valleys full of fall colours to stop and gaze upon. After biking up a massive hill, we took a break from the bikes to climb up to the top of one of these hills. And what a gorgeous vista awaited us!

Both days turned out to be pretty darn spectacular. Some good exercise, great company, and gorgeous landscapes around every corner. Man, I think I'm *really* gonna love living in the Czech Republic! ;-)

Check out those gorgeous colours in the forest!

The devilishly handsome Jarek poses for the photographer next to a tree.

And now for another smooth photo!

Who knew all of this beauty could be found just minutes outside the Czech capital? Not I!

Scotty's all smiles here up on the hill! What a fantastic day!

Pictures? Let's Try That Again...

2006-11-06T14:16:00.000+01:00

God I'm such a ham! Here I try to give my best 'come hither' look. Any takers? (Nope, didn't think so!) ;-)

Check out the studs! Future flatmates and nightly cuddle-buddies Scotty and Alasdair hunk it up for the camera.

Oohhh! Check out the saucy babes! Laurie, Carolyn, and Sonja 'Go Abercrombie' for my photoshoot! *sizzling!*

Alasdair's such a babe magnet! Here he shows off his charms with the lovely Czech Trio of Eva, Anna, and Ivana.

Scotty hangs out with the lovely Rosie and the dashing Fraser at Radost on their last night in town... *sniff sniff* COME BACK ROSIE! I MISS YOU!

Scotty cuddles up with Carolyn - his hostess with the mostest here in Prague.

Hmmm....I wonder what two teachers used to live in Asia? ;-) Lauren, formerly of Japan, and Scotty, formerly of Korea, get cozy and cheesy at the Akcent Cafe on the last day of CELTA.

The gang hangs out at Vysehrad on a cloudy afternoon. Front Row, L-R: Dan (my former flatmate!), Elishka, Sonja, Eva, and Yours truly. Back Row, L-R: Jo H's friend, Laurie, Jo H, Jo G, Anna, Greg (my other flatmate!), Ivana

Settling Down

2006-11-05T18:06:00.000+01:00

Scotty and Jo chill out at The Red Onion

Okay I have so much to catch up on I don't even know where to begin. What an eventful month October has been! And man has it ever flown by so fast! Can it really truly be November already? Where does the time go? Well, you know what they say - time flies when you're having fun! ;-)

So first things first - the good news is that Scotty is officially employed! I've gotten a job working for Caledonian School, and just finished my third week of work on Friday. Caledonian is the largest of the private language institutes here in the Czech Republic, and at last count had 308 teachers and over 5000 students! They have four school locations here in Prague, but most of their teachers - including myself - actually teach mostly 'in company' and not at the actual school.

In fact, my entire schedule is 'in company.' This means that I teach all of my students at their work rather than in a proper classroom. Almost all of my teaching is only 1:1, and I'm usually in either a staff meeting room or sometimes just sitting in the office of my students. It's *completely different* from my teaching experience in Korea. Almost all of my students are middle-aged male bankers, and this means that 100% of my time is spent doing actual teaching, rather than worrying about who's biting who, or how to diplomatically spread the pink scissors around so that nobody has a fit and cries.

This 1:1 business is quite enjoyable actually. It feels nice and relaxed, more like I'm just sitting and having a conversation, or helping someone with homework, rather than 'performing' as a teacher in front of a class. All of my students are really nice and friendly, and most of them are quite chatty as well which makes my job a helluva lot easier. I'm basically paid to keep them talking, and since Scotty can pretty much chat up a wall, this hasn't proven to be too difficult.

The only thing that really sucks about my job is that I spent a lot of time travelling around on the metro from one corner of Prague to the other to meet up with my students, but hey at least my school gives me a free transit pass so it's not like it's costing me anything. That, and the early hours. REALLY EARLY HOURS. I have classes that begin at 7:30am three times a week, and it's 8:30am the other days. And Scotty is SO NOT a morning person. Ugh. Every morning when that bloody alarm goes off at some ungodly hour I feel like I want to die a thousand times as I'm ripped from my blissful REM cycle. But, once I'm up and on my way, I'm usually pretty good actually. And the early hours often mean that I finish early and have the rest of the day free. Quite productive actually, but somtimes I think that being productive is a bit over-rated. ;-)

I get my first paycheque tomorrow, and not a minute too soon as the ol' bank account has run quite low. Being unemployed for three month and a half months and travelling around has certainly proven to be a speedy way to go through one's savings!

And as for the living situation, well I wish I had better news to report on that front. Scotty is still sans-flat, and continues his reign over Carolyn's living room. My good buddy and future roomie Alasdair is back from a trip home and he's moved in too, so I guess it's more of a "joint-reign". We share the pull-out couch in the living room together, which we've discovered has a rather distinct slump in the middle, resulting in unplanned cuddling in the middle of the night as sheer gravitational force brings us together. Oh boy! But, it's cozy at Carolyn's and the three of us are a good mix together. Alasdair has turned out to be a fantastic cook - and a vegetarian to boot - so that means that I get yummy healthy food cooked for me all the time! YAH ALASDAIR! ;-)

Hunting for a flat has proven to be quite difficult in this country. We're looking for a place where we can each have our own bedrooms, and that often means the flats cost a fortune or are way out in the suburbs. We also need a place that's furnished. And we'd like to live in Vinohrady like Carolyn which is the trendy address to have here in Praha these days. All of this adds up to a pretty tall order for a flat I guess. And of course trying to conduct all of this searching in a country that doesn't speak English makes things infinitely more challenging. Luckily my good friend Ivana - who's a native - has been extremely kind and has done a lot of phone-calling for us. So, no flats yet...but cross your fingers and hopefully something will work out soon! In the meantime, Alasdair and I will have to just keep on cuddling, Carolyn will have to keep stepping over all our shite in the living room, and I'll keep dreaming of a flat with a hot water tank larger than 10 litres so that I can have a shower longer than 7 minutes without draining the whole tank!

OH!

I'm gonna attempt to add some photos of me and my friends here in Prague! Hope this works! ENJOY! :-)

Where In The World Is Scotty Sandiego?

2006-10-21T20:39:00.000+02:00

Alrighty! First things first! Time for a little geography lesson! Some of you peeps have been inquiring about my whereabouts. Now I know that all of you know where I am, but many people are like "So you've moved to Prague! That's great! Ummm....where, exactly, is Prague?" Let the geographer in me enlighten you! :-)

Prague is a city, not a country. In fact, it is the capital city of the Czech Republic.

SPECIAL NOTE: Prague is NOT the capital of Czechoslovokia! Czechoslovakia no longer exists! In 1993 the Slovak half decided to go solo and has since then left us with two new, fully indepedent nations - the Czech Republic and Slovakia. If I catch *any* of you asking me about how life in Czechoslovakia is you'll get a firm and prompt spanking from yours truly!

Okay the above map is a little small and hard to read, but if you look for the dark green ovalish blob in the middle of Europe - that's Czech Republic! If you want greater detail, click here:

http://www.edinphoto.org.uk/1_MAP/1_map_europe_2001_enlarged.htm

I don't remember Prague's exact latitude, but I believe it's around 50 N, which incidentally is pretty much the same latitude as Vancouver! (Or just a degree or two further north than ol' Thunder Bay.)

And, as you can see from the super-handy map that I've included, it is located in the heart of Europe and shares borders with Germany, Poland, Slovakia, and Austria. I heard the other day day apparently there is a field near a town just about 30 or so kilometres east of Prague with a post that supposedly marks the geographic centre of Europe. At least according to the local tourism market in such said town. I'm a little skeptical of this myself as who the bloody hell knows exactly where Europe begins and ends? Okay obviously on the west side with the Atlantic, but how far east does one have to travel before you're 'not in Europe' anymore? In high school we were taught that the Ural Mountains in Russia mark the boundary, but no one in Europe seems to know about that, and it *is* their land after all...

So what does one include as Europe then? (consulting my Risk boardgame didn't help me very much either with this situation, if including 'Siam' and 'Kamchatka' as political entities within asia are any indication, I should not use the ol' 'whatever is blue in Risk' as a means of answering this question.) So what do I include then? Half of Russia? None of Russia? Only EU members?

God, good luck with using that as a means to measure Europe's frontier! With new members being added every year who can keep up? I mean yeah we're thankful that the Czechs are members now, but these days the once exclusive club seems to be willing to let in just about anybody. Apparently all one needs to do in order to be accepted into the EU is to remotely vaguely share a geographic proximity, be willing to drop capital punishment, and be able to spell E-U-R-O-P-E. Romania and Bulgaria are about to be admitted in January, things are lining up for TURKEY of all places, and there's even talks of Ukraine, Moldova, and Belarus being added in the future. Okay the Ukraine I could maybe see - things with Chernobyl have settled down a bit so now only 44% of the country remains uninhabitable, but no one in Brussels can even find Moldova on a map, and HELLO! Belarus remains as the only military dictatorship government left in the Western world. So now they can come to the EU party too? I'm all about being inclusive and welcoming, but let's get serious here folks - someone's gotta draw the line!

However... *pondering deeply*

These invitations en masse do seem ripe for hatching my long-planned ultimate goal of having Canada ditch NAFTA and join the European Union. CLEARLY this is in our best interests. Canada keeps getting screwed around by the States (example: softwood lumber, salmon, oil and gas deposits in the Arctic), we started off as a European colony and many of us have grandparents that were born in the 'The Old Land', and we're still a happy member of the Commonwealth. God save the Queen and all that shit, right? Our dollar has been gaining strength (and could potentially pass the US dollar in value one day?) and, these days anyways, culturally we have more in common with our trendy and fashionable Euro cousins than our neighbours to the south. (The decision to stay out of Iraq, the legalization of gay marriage, the decriminalization of small possession of marijuana...) And hey I don't know about you but I'd give up my left nut to have in my hot little hands a real proper EU Passport. It would sure as hell save me from a lot of bureaucracy over here in the Czech Republic, and it would also mean that I could don a fake unidentifiable Europeanish accent in order to impress friends back home! And that is *definitely* something worth ditching NAFTA for! ;-)

Okay this entry was just supposed to be an excuse for me to test out the images section of blogger, and include a map of Europe, but now I've rambled on and on (quelle surprise!) and in the process pissed off both the frontier Eastern Europeans *and* my American pals. Uh-oh - looks like Scotty's blog is back in business! ;-)

Back From The Dead - Finally!

2006-10-05T17:05:00.000+02:00

Wow! Talk about a major time-gap in the ol' blog! Where's a boy to begin?

Well... as most of you know, after 5 months of backpacking around Southeast Asia, a la Project Wanderlust, Scotty returned to the land of ice and snow - aka: Canada - just in time to welcome in old Saint Nick. A short two-month rest at home quickly transformed itself into an 8-month stint after a brief glance at the ol' bank account. I ended up staying in the hometown of Thunder Bay til the end of July, living with the 'rents, working at Starbucks, saving up $$$, and along the way and completely unexpectedly, making a whole new group of uber-amazing friends.

After ripping myself from the nurturing womb of SLEDD - the greatest band that the world has ever seen - I decided to Go Continental and make a sweep of the nation before disappearing off the map again. Three cities, two weddings, and one busy whirlwind month later I had whisked myself through Canada's Big 3 - Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver. I got to participate in two truly beautiful weddings, caught up with friends old and new who I hadn't seen in ages, and reconfirmed to myself that Vancouver is indeed the most amazing city on the planet - and where I ultimately want to end up once this strange compulsive travel affliction of mine wears itself out (and the crowd asks - 'But will it ever, Scotty?')

A magically-free flight and short visit in London - what just may truly be *the* centre of western civilization - (although I've yet to visit New York and that city just may trump London as World Capital) - courtesy of my wonderfully generous and well-connected buddy Benoit, and it was off to yet another airport for one last final flight. Just how many airports has this intrepid global explorer been thru in the last year you may ask? Too many to count, methinks...

I arrived in Praha - Czech for Prague and known affectionately as 'Little Mother' by the locals - late on a Saturday night, feeling tired, worn, excited, and anxious. What to expect from this new life? A new continent, a new country, a new chapter in life...

For a brief moment I wished I had a universal remote not unlike the one in 'Click' where I could, just for a second, hit the pause button. A city and country can only ever be new to you just once in your life. For only one brief fleeting experience can a landscape start off as a blank map, an empty slate, as virgin territory, as a land yet undiscovered and unconquered. The instant you arrive it all starts to reveal itself, one page, one day, one street at a time, and this is when all your expectations and imaginings get to be shattered and rearranged and thrown out and disposed with. This is a moment that I wanted to savour - the moment of Prague The Unknown. But, alas, no such universal remote exists - at least not in my possession - and so it was time to dive in, head first.

I was picked up at the airport by the school driver along with Zoe and Lauren - two other girls in my course. A short drive through Prague suburbia led us to my new home. (on a side note, officially the first English song that I heard in the Czech Rep. was some deliciously cheesy Rick Astley 80's tune that I had never heard before, but now goes down into the annals of history, for better or for worse.)

My new home turned out to be...strangely familiar to me... It was a large rectangular soulless concrete tower monstrosity, surrounded by rows upon rows of other large rectangular soulless concrete tower monstrosities... Hmmm....dejavu here....can you say HELLO KOREA!? I ventured into my 9th/10th floor flat and was promptly met by my two new roomies - Dan from England and Greg from Texas. Both boys were in the course as well and had already been in our flat for a week! They were both really cool guys who I got along with really well - and as an added bonus to their company was their infinite knowledge of the neighbourhood - where to get groceries, where to catch the bus, etc. Very very handy!

I spent the following day exploring the beauty that is Prague with my Czech buddy Stepan. I'm ommitting details of this day for now as an Ode to Prague and all of its architectural and historical glory will come later in a future blog entry...

And then there was CELTA...not my raison d'etre for being in Prague but definitely my ticket to future jobs and...higher education? I don't even know where to begin with my description of CELTA.... (FYI: CELTA = The Cambridge Certificate In English Language To Adults)

CELTA turned out to be the hardest, most intense, most stressful, most exhaustive, most psychologically and physically and emotionally and spiritually draining experience of my entire life. Basically, it was really really fucking hard, and infinitely even more pressured and stressful. Although it was only 4 weeks long, it's like completing an entire Bachelor of Education degree in that short time-frame. I had 8 lessons to teach (yes to real paying students) - all of which involved being judged and scrutinized and picked apart and analayzed under a microscope by a tutor - and 4 major assignments to write. Plus loads and loads and loads of paperwork...my god it never ended...

You would have thought that CELTA would be a breeze for me considering my past experience working at rather-busy POLY School in Korea...but if anything it almost made things more difficult. A lot of things that I had believed to be true and valid in my past teaching career apparently turned out to be shite. I guess I had picked up a lot of bad habits, and it was CELTA's job to beat them out of me. Being battered and bruised and bandaged on a near-daily basis by the barrage of brutally-honest criticism did indeed lead me to become a better teacher in the end, but not without shattering my confidence for a good while and making me want to cry/pull my hair out/drown myself in to Vltava. There were definite moments during Week 2 and Week 3 where I was doubting if a) I was going to pass the course and b) whether or not it would all be worth it.

But, in the end, yes, I'd say it was worth it. Would I do it again? HELL NO. Am I glad I did? Yeah I guess... What I recommend the experience to someone else? Well...yes...but certainly not lightly - unless my friend was h-core into sado-masochism, or truly serious about teaching.

The course was so intensely busy that I had virtually no life outside of school. My days were spent travelling only from the school to my flat, with occasional refuelling stops at restaurants, pubs, and grocery stores. There were days/weeks when you actually forgot that you were in Prague. I had no time to explore the city, play tourist, or wander around like I'm so used to when arriving in a new city. This was especially painful as Prague is a place that I've dreamed of living in since I was a teenager, and to have it so close yet so far was almost too much some days... But, like a good little student, I tried to stay diligent with my studies and kept excursions into the city kept at a minimum. Friday nights always were 'Let's All Go Find A Bar In Prague To Drown Our Stress In' avec my 18 CELTA comrades, but other than that I stayed close to home for pretty much the whole month.

And so, because of this, September 2006 will forever be known as The Month That Time Forgot. It was like I left this earth and disappeared into THE CELTA DIMENSION. There were definitely days when I didn't think I'd ever make it back to normal existence, but somehow I've made it through the trenches, have come out on the other side, passed the course (YAH!) and returned to the life that the rest of you peeps call home.

Now comes the next adventure....

This brings us to present day, where Scotty is living quite the Bohemian Life here in Prague. I'm officially jobless *and* homeless (beat that combo!) and living life inbetween the Czech cracks. Neither the Canadian nor the Czech government knows where I am, what I'm doing, or what move I'll make next. As my friend Jason back in T-Bay is fond of saying, I'm officially living 'Off The Grid!'

And I have to say I kinda like it....more than kinda actually...

Now most normal sane humans would be petrified, or at least slightly perturbed, at the thought of living in a foreign non-English speaking former-communist bloc country sans job and sans flat, but NOT ME! Scotty walks to the beat of a different drum, and for whatever reason, I'm not feeling too bothered by the current living/employment status. Maybe it's just post-CELTA exultation, but I'm so not stressed these days. I'm not actually homeless per se, as in living under a bridge or wherever, cause I'm crashing on the living room floor of my way-cool fellow-colleague friend Carolyn in her amazing art-nouveau trendy-neighbourhood of Vinohrady.

And while most of the 18 CELTINIANS have buggered off back to their home countries, a very cool bunch has decided to stay like me, and we've become one big instant happy family. We're all in the same boat together, and keep each other company while looking for respective jobs and flats. In fact, one of them, a cool chap named Alasdair from England, may be my future room-mate... I've got two job interviews lined up for teaching positions at language schools - one tomorrow, one Monday - and hope to find a flat soon thanks to the help of some Czech buddies.

Of course as soon as the course finished the weather has turned to shite - grey, rainy, and bloody cold - but hey I'm LIVING IN PRAGUE and what could be awesomer than that!? I've accomplished my dream of living in Prague, and while I may not have all the specifics worked out yet, I'm here, and loving it! It's now official - Prague and the Czech Republic are fucking amazing! Woohoo!

So it's gonna be my goal to write in here about once a month, so sleep in peace knowing that regular fabulous entries are coming your way, now and way way into the future... So check this space often, and please please PLEASE leave me love notes via the comments button on the bottom. It totally makes my day when I hear from someone...

And also, for all of you waiting for personal emails (last total of said folks - 12,849), know that I haven't forgotten about you all and will indeed write you back soon. I promise. In the meantime, read away, and know that I'm thinking of you all often and love you all very much.

PEACE OUT FROM PRAHA!!!

Beaches: The Best Of The Best

2006-01-09T21:10:00.000+01:00

Wow. The holidays have come and gone, we're already more than a week into January, and I've still yet to wrap up my trip tale escapades. Yikes! An extra spanking for Bad Scotty for falling behind on his blog. Well, here it is, as promised, the inside scoop on the beaches of Southeast Asia. A definite must read for anyone who loves sun, sand and surf as much as yours truly. Dig in! ;-)

Arranged in ascending order,based on overall quality, from #9 to #1, here they are:

#9: Nha Trang, Vietnam

Vietnam's numero uno beach resort is a scenic enough place, but has a long way to go if it ever wants to become a true superstar among the beach pack. Pleasant enough to stop for a day or two, but don't plan your trip around it. Bringing your friends to create your own fun atmosphere would help to liven things up as well.

Pros:

beautiful scenery with magnificent hills across the bay to gaze upon
coarse but clean sand
The Sailing Club - a hot spot to hang out and read/suntan/sip the day away avec your fave book, Mr. Golden Sun, and the requisite (although over-priced) pina colada or strawberry dacquiri

Cons:

aggressive and invasive beach vendors
rough waters make it a bit scary for swimming
overall seedy atmosphere - watch out for those aggressive crotch-grabbing pick-pocketing ladyboy prostitutes near the beach at night!

#8: Ko Phi Phi, Thailand

Ranked as the third most beautiful island in the world, this used to be beach nirvana on Earth...until 2004's tsunami nearly permanently wiped this place off the map. The scenery's still there, but give this island a few more years to recover before spending your hard-earned tourist dollars here as the current growing pains are spoiling the fun.

Pros:

heart-stopping scenery, a la Leonardo Dicaprio in The Beach
amazing opportunities for scuba diving and snorkelling
a late-night party scene that almost guarantees you to get laid

Cons:

ridiculously over-priced accommodation, at least in the high seasons when prices soar to ten times or more for what you'll find on other islands
lack of choices for places to stay - more than two thirds of the island's hotels were lost and have yet to be rebuilt making things a little competitive when finding a room
the crowds - word has definitely gotten out that tourists can again visit this paradise, and now it seems like everybody and their dog are being shuttled in like cattle to this little spec in the sea

#7: Ko Lanta, Thailand

A good alternative to over-priced/over-crowded Ko Phi Phi, Ko Lanta is almost too quiet and peaceful, and the island's main beaches leave something to be desired.

Pros:

a wide choice of inexpensive, high-quality accommodation
a good jumping base for some spectacular snorkelling and island-hopping in the Andaman Sea
a few good, if scattered and isolated, bars to toss back a few brewskies, as well as some choice restaurants to chow down at

Cons:

a bit too lonely and quiet, if you're looking to keep active and social - Robinson Crusoe saw more passerby on his island
beach sand is mixed with coral - not the best for suntanning or running to catch that frisbee - ouch!
the shallow waters are full of rocks - difficult to enjoy that much-needed swim

#6: Mui Ne, Vietnam

Now here's a little gem that's just waiting to be discovered by the masses. Not ready for the big leagues, but certainly the best place to stop and relax on some sand on the South China Sea.

Pros:

a long, curving arc of gorgeous sand
good, cheap accommodation, almost all of which is mere steps from the beach - as well as some excellent seafood restaurants
some great daytrips abound in this area - make sure you check out the Saharaish sand dunes

Cons:

the bay is very windy and the waters can be a bit rough for swimming (although those winds are a plus if you're into windsurfing or kite-boarding)
no bars or happenin' spots for when you just need to do a few rounds of tequila body shots
prepare to do a lot of walking up and down the long, too-stretched out 'main drag' in search of a place to eat

#5: Ko Samui, Thailand

A world-famous international hot-spot for beaches and partying. Too bad the airport and ferries don't screen the heaps of Tourist Trash that swarm this place nearly year-round.

Pros:

some of the softest, whitest sand you'll find anywhere on the planet
like water sports? you can literally do anything that is water-based here - ranging from jetskiing to snorkel trips to sunset dinner cruises
a wide variety of restaurants and bars to suit all tastebuds and budgets

Cons:

the abundance of tourists here means it can be hard to find the cheap digs during high season, forcing you to say in some pricier hotels
too bad the built environment doesn't at all reflect the island's natural beauty - a makeover is desperately needed to clean up the grimy, dingy main drag
hordes upon hordes of drunken white trash idiots who suddenly think they're hot shit and too-cool-for-school global travellers just because they can afford a 9-day package holiday away from their normally boring and simple lives in their trailer parks back in Mobile, Alabama or dingy flats in London's outer rim suburbia

#4: Kuta Beach, Bali

Okay it's nearly impossible to pick between Kuta and the Gilis at #3 cause they're both so damn awesome, but if I had to choose I'd put Kuta down a notch, as the crass commercialism does tend to distract from the island's many bounties.

Pros:

a huge long gorgeous beach, with big bad waves perfect for surfing and boogie-boarding
more eye candy than you can shake your nasties at - like what is this place? The 24/365 real-life version of Temptation Island?
shitloads of delicious restaurants and shopping opps, plus the best nightlife in the tropics - you'll stuff your face, shop up a storm, and then dance your ass off til the sun comes up

Cons:

this places oozes commercialism out of every orifice - more than a little distracting and disturbing
the most aggressive sales people on the face of the planet - bring your fazer cause they really won't take "For the 17th time, I said NO! you fucker!" for an answer
if you thought the trashy loud abrasive drunken frat boy crowds of Ko Samui were bad, wait til you meet their Aussie counterparts here in Bali - they're loud 'n proud, and have brought their 20 closest friends to see who can crush more cans of Bintang beer on their foreheads. (Ouch!)

#3: Gili Trawangan, Indonesia

A gorgeous spit of sand and coral inspiring enough to wish you were shipwrecked here. Too bad you have to sell your soul to get a fair-priced smooth journey to get here.

Pros:

the clearest turquoise waters you've ever seen, and some of the world's best reefs for snorkelling and scuba diving - you'll swear you're in a dream
cheap, but basic, bungalows to be had for everyone
plenty of things to do when the sun goes down, from dining on today's fresh catch of the day, to lounging on a pile of pillows while watching the big screen, to having a few too many beers and cocktails at the Irish Pub

Cons:

prepare to be ripped off (and you will) multiple times on your long bus-boat-bus-boat journey to get there - definitely physically exhausting and emotionally draining
no fresh water showers here - hope you don't mind being more than a little salty for a few days
beautiful white sand beach - just watch out for the invasive ants that emerge daily from the sands around 3pm

#2: Railay Beach, Thailand

This place is sheer heaven on Earth. Consider a one-way ticket to this perfect piece of paradise - or at least as long of a stay as you can afford.

Pros:

gentle emerald waters sheltered in calm coves by soaring limestone cliffs - this combined with some arousingly gorgeous white sands makes for a pretty awe-inspiring place to park your sunburned ass for a while
outdoor recreation opportunities abound - besides the expected water sports, you're also in the world's fourth best place for rock-climbing!
lots of places to stuff your face with yummy Thai food, and then get stupid drunk at night - and all of this within easy walking distance of...well, everything!

Cons:

expensive accommodation during high season - a bit of a hunt is sometimes required to find something within the range of your meager backpacker budget
the beach's main bar - The Last Bar - is a fun place, but hosts tacky shows you'll be embarrassed to watch and plays literally the exact same songs every night. Drink enough so you don't notice
you'll proably end up marrying a local, just so you can stay longer and not go home!

And, here we are, finally, at #1: Boracay, Philippines

Boracay has been voted, numerous times, as the World's Perfect Tropical Island. I couldn't agree more. Seeing truly is believing, so you'll have to come and check it out for yourself if you don't want to take my word for it.

Pros:

A beach so perfect you'll cry with joy every single day. Lazy hammocks between swaying palms, gentle breezes blowing off the turquoise bathwater-warm sea, a long, wide beach so white you'll swear it's snow. Oh baby!
the widest selection of restaurants and bars you could ask for - whatever you're in the mood for, whether that's a french crepe, strawberry-mango shake, thin-crust pizza, banana mudslides, or Inidan currie to die for, it really is all here
you'll never ever be bored of here - day trips for island-hopping, thumping night clubs, local markets for shopping....but that's just if you can bear to pry yourself away form that beach!

Cons:

comparatively expensive accomodation, especially when you're used to Thailand or Indonesia's rock-bottom prices
rooms book up fast during the peak season - don't just show up unannounced or you'll be left sleeping on that sand
bruises on all of your appendages - cause you'll constantly be pinching yourself to check and see if you're lost in a dream! ;-)

So there ya go! I can only tell you about the places I've been to myself, so I'm sure there's plenty of other island getaways that deserve a ranking on my list. But, from what I have seen, oh baby, it only makes me want some more. Oh Mr. Beach, oh how I love thee...let me count the ways... ;-)

Project Wanderlust Awards Ceremony

2005-12-18T20:30:00.000+01:00

Alrighty....here, as promised, is the Project Wanderlust Awards Ceremony. This is where the accolades and the condemnations are dished out in full glorious abundance, the praise sidelined with the critiques, the good, the bad, and the ugly mixed and mussed up, and the pats on the back coupled with bitch slaps to the face. Wanna know all the best - and the worst - that Asia has to offer? Find out here. Right now. Read on, and enjoy. :-)

Best City For Shopping:

Bangkok

In need of a whole new wardrobe for less than a hundred dollars? Bangkok is your place. Looking for fantastic imitation knock-offs that will fool all your friends back home into believing that you can afford to have eight Gucci purses? Head on down to Bangkok. How about a suit tailored to your every inch? Get your butt to Bangkok. Souvenirs, cultural artifacts, and tacky knick-knacks from every corner of the Kingdom? Bangkok's got 'em. Designer labels...at real designer label prices. Yep - in Bangkok. Want to replenish your aging CD tower with a new music colleciton for real real cheap? Bangkok's the place to be. Basically, if you're in the mood for shopping for, well, anything, you can find it in Bangkok. And for the best prices this side of the Pacific too! Bangkok truly is a shopper's paradise. Bangkok also wins the prize for Best Nightlife in Asia as well.

(Honourable Mentions for Shopping: Kuala Lumpur, Singapore)

Cleanest City In Asia:

Singapore

Yes, all the rumours you've heard are true. Singapore is really, really damn clean. Steep penalties for littering and advanced recycling programs coupled with plenty of greenery and flowers and hard-working street-cleaners makes for one lean, mean, clean urban oasis. After months of treading through the rubbish and raw sewage of Asian megacities, Singapore will seem like a mirage in the distance. Too good to be true? Impossible to reach? Not at all. Come check out this city-state just north of the equator and check up on its unofficial city motto: "Singapore: So Clean We Dare You To Eat Off Our Streets!"

Asian City Most On The Move:

Beijing

With the 2008 Summer Olympics quickly barrelling down on them, Beijing is a city truly undergoing the makeover of all urban makeovers. Construction cranes are the new skyline, and with them the promises of a brand new Chinese capital to welcome the world. Five new subway lines are being built as we speak, along with dozens of new shiny sports stadiums, thousands of new hotel rooms, and millions upon millions of new trees to grace the previously barren hillslopes. Blink and you'll miss something, turn your head 360 and by the time you've turned back your view will have changed completely. While the city's 14 million residents certainly appreciate the new greenery and the government's supposed commitment to relocating the majority of the city's polluting heavy industry to outside of the city limits, all of this fast-forward construction comes at a price. The thousands of remaining hutong courtyard homes are being bulldozed and replaced with bland apartment complexes, entirel neighbourhoods are being erased or sanitized to the point of losing all of their traditional feel, and housing rates are escalating into the stratosphere. The world may be able to enjoy a cleaner, greener Beijing three years from now, but not without a heavy burden to those who actually call the capital home.

City Most Dangerous To Cross the Street In:

Hanoi & Ho Chi Minh City

These two urban giants of Vietnam are gonna have to share this award, cause really it is hard to tell which city is more life-threatening for the proverbial chicken to cross that road. The danger here comes not from cars, but from the milions upon millions of motorbikes that race the streets as if every day's goal is to fulfill one's own desperate suicidal death wish. The key to survival here is not to listen to your instinct and run like mad (don't every try that, you'll never make it) but to walk across very, very slowly so that each and every individual bike can speed around you. Or, atleast you're praying that they're gonna steer by. No promises here, folks. Good luck, and godspeed!

Most Disgusting City In Asia:

Medan

This city in Sumatra is an urban hellhole if there ever was one. Perpetual gridlock chokes the dark and dingy streets, thick air pollution suffocates what little greenery has not been stripped already, big trucks and stinking busses mix company with maniacal tuk-tuks and frustrated citizens. The buildings here cry out to be whitewashed, but know in their hearts that demolition is their best hope. If there was ever a city to drop a nuke on out of sheer pity, or at least one to avoid visiting at all costs, Medan is the one. But, if you must pass through, as my sister and I were forced to twice, hold your breath, close your eyes and ears, and hope for the best. It ain't a pretty place baby.

Asia's Belle Of The Ball:

Luang Prabang

Pretty much the exact opposite of Medan in every single way, this little city in Laos is truly the prime gem in Asia's crown of urban jewels. Situated on the banks of the mighty Mekong River and surrounded by the lushest, greenest hills you could ever imagine, this entire town has been named a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Besides the surrounding awe-inspiring scenery, Luang Prabang is home to nearly forty Buddhist temples, each of them beautifully decorated with bright gold and colourful jewels. Luang Prabang is the kind of place where you could easily relax-away more days than you had planned for, and once that will surely leave its mark as a most memorable stop in your backpacking odyssey.

Asia's Most Futuristic City:

Shanghai

If you want a glimpse of what the future holds, come and take a look at Shanghai and you'll get a pretty good idea. It's here where weird and wacky, taller-than-tall skyscrapers compete for airspace, and ginormous spear-and-bauble towers pierce the neon skies. In Shanghai magnetic-powered trains zip across the city at over 400 km/hr and every corner brings about another view of some zany museum or art gallery. China is determined to put Shanghai on the map as the planet's most modern, most incredibly futuristic World City, and they've only just begun. I can't even begin to imagine what this place is going to look like in five yeras, never mind twenty or thirty! You really do have to see it to believe it.

Asia's Most Over-rated City:

Chiang Mai

Along the backpacker's circuit you'll be hearing everyone talking up Chiang Mai, Thailand's northern capital and gateway to trekking, rafting, and lots of other outdoorsy fun. Maybe it was because I had unrealistic expectations, or simply just cause everyone else had talked it up so much, but upon arrival in Chiang Mai I never did see what all the fuss was about. The city is rather boring, not all that pretty, and really is completely over-run with tourists. Especially the package/I'm-deadset-on-seeing-every-bit-of-Thailand-in-my-short-8-day-holiday sort of tourists. Eww. And unless you're on a tour/trek that is going way, way out of the city, you'll have to compete with the hordes for a piece of that jungle recreation. Unless your idea of fun is trekking through empty fields along well-trodden paths and running into another tour group every 37 minutes, skip out on Chiang Mai and choose somewhere a little more remote to get your jungle fix (like Chiang Rai or Pai.)

Best Architecture In Asia:

Hoi An

Long unknown by the outside world, this little town in central Vietnam managed to survive the war relatively untouched. Today it's home to an incredible legacy of a kaleidoscope of architectural styles. Thanks to UN funding, the town centre has been saved from modernization and restored to its former glory. Stroll along the waterfront and imagine all the European tall ships that used to dock at is wharves, or meander through the quiet streets admiring the pastels of colonial grandeur. A truly beautiful place.

City With The Saddest History:

Phnom Penh

Paying respect to local customs and history is an important aspect of being a 'responsible tourist', and nowhere in Asia is it more fitting to take a day or two out of touring temples and markets than here in the Cambodian capital. The evil tentacles of mass genocide may have touched every corner of this small nation, but it is here in Phmon Penh where the most emotional legacies of Pol Pot's regime remain. The Tuong Sleng Genocide Museum, and infamous Killing Fields just outside of town, may not seem like conventional tourist attractions, but are places that every backpacker who's passing through Cambodia should visit. If there was ever any doubt left in your mind, these two absolutely chilling sites solidify forever one's belief that war is never, ever the answer, and affirm the dangers of what happens when a country cries out but the world turns away.

Best Gateway For Outdoor Recreation:

a two-way tie between Yangshuo, China, and Vang Vieng, Laos

If you're at all interested in hiking through spectacular scenery, biking through placid rice paddies, whitewater rafting or kayaking along raging rivers, rock-climbing up soaring limestone peaks, spelunking in caves or plunging into pools of underground mud, these two places are a must-visit on your trip. Opportunities for outdoor recreation abound here aplenty, and all of the above can be done for a fraction of the price of what you'd pay back home.

Coolest, Most-Livable City In Asia:

Hong Kong

I've been to a long of cool places in Asia, and many of them will always have special places in my heart, but if there was one city that I could move to in a heartbeat, Hong Kong would be the one. Blessed with a unique historical blend of Eastern & Western fusion, this former British colony is a true star. Fantastic nightlife, incredible food, world-famous shopping, efficient transit, an abundance of museums and galleries, beautiful scenery, and a heart-stopping jaw-dropping mind-blowing skyline to boot. Hong Kong may be crowded and smoggy like many of it's Asian counterparts, and be plagued with housing prices that would numb Donald Trump, but few cities in Asia can offer you the best of all worlds, all in the same day. Sample some dim sum for breakfast, and then enjoy a delicious French dinner. Banter over bargains in the markets, and then after shop up a storm in a glitzy shopping mall. Wander through traditional Chinese alleyways, and then get a neck cramp staring up at the unbelievably tall skyscrapers. Get caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of a major world city, and then escape to a green mountainscape or quiet beach just over the hill. Hong Kong's got it all baby, and an electric pulse and infectious energy to keep you going all day, and all night. Once you get a taste of this place, you'll guaranteed be wanting to come back for more!

And here's a few other noteworthy recipients:

Most Boring City In Asia:

Ventiane, Laos

Most Polluted City In Asia:

Xian, China

Most European City In Asia:

Macau

Most Over-Commercialized Asian City:

Kuta, Bali

City With The Scariest Monkeys:

Lopburi, Thailand

City That Lives & Breathes Its Existence For One Single Attraction:

Siem Reap, Cambodia

City Not Nearly As Scary As Everyone Tells You It Is:

Jakarta, Indonesia

Best City To Hook Up With A Motorcycle Man In:

Dalat, Vietnam

Definitely Not Feeling Crabby In Krabi

2005-12-14T21:47:00.000+01:00

Ahhhh here we are...our last destination....the final pit stop on Project Wanderlust. 5 months, 8 countries, and a billion stamps in the passport later, and we end up here. And where is here, exactly? Here is Krabi, Thailand. Krabi is a province on the mainland, and world-famous for it's gorgeous white sand beaches and spectacular limestone cliffs. We're staying in a place called Railay Beach, which technically is on the mainland, but it definitely has an 'island feel' to it. You can only get here by boat as it's completely walled in by the limestone pinnacles, there's no cars or motorbikes, and everything is close enough that you can walk to wherever you want to go.

Railay truly is paradise on Earth. Some of the best beaches in the world are to be found here, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a white sand beach with scenery more spectacular than Railay's. Bordered in, and split up, by towering pinnacles of sheer limestone cliffs soaring out of calm emerald green waters, it's more than enough to take your breath away. Think 'Lord Of The Rings' meets 'The Beach', and you can start to imagine how gorgeous it is here. (Only minus the invading barbarian orcs, and cranky drug lords!) Because of all the cliffs, Railay is known to be the fourth best place on the planet for rock climbing. Being afraid of heights myself, I'll pass on that particular activity, but that doesn't mean that I can't still take in all the scenery! Honestly, do a google search on Krabi and sit and stare in awe at your computer screen at what pictures come up. I dare you! ;-)

Railay's on a small peninsula, but home to four different beaches, each with a very different and unique atmosphere. There's Railay West, where all the fancy resorts are, and home to a very beautiful beach with a wide shallow bay perfect for swimming. And to balance that out there's Railay East, home of all the budget accomodation. The beach is all mud at low tide and disappears during high tide, but is definitely the place where the good eats - and the partying - are at. Connected to Railay West during low tide is Hat Ton Sai, a small rocky beach full of cheap digs and an abundance of rock climbers. And then there's Phranang Beach, quite possibly the most beautiful beach in the entire world. I've been to a lot of beaches on this trip, but really nothing can compare to this one.

First of all, to get to this beach, you have to walk about ten minutes or so along the edges of some massive cliffs, whose base is riddled with small caves and dangling stalactites - and monkeys! Finally you make it to the beach, but not until you pass until a humoungous wall of rock which leans precariously towards the sea, as if the water is so beautiful and clear that even granite and limestone can't resist its draw. Underneath this rock wall is Phranang Cave, and it is here where the beach begins. It's a long, narrow, curving swath of clean white sand, nestled all the way of its length by straggly trees and bounded in at either end by walls of rock towering hundreds of feet into the air. And about half way along the beach, just off in the waters, is a massive chunk of rock rising out of the liquid turquoise, like a giant's discarded toy tossed into the sea. It really doesn't get any more amazing than this. You feel like you've discovered something so exotic and secret and heavenly that no mortal man could ever be worthy of its beautiful solitude. Or, you would feel this way, were it not for the few hundred other people also on the beach. Ahhh well...looks like I'll have to share this piece of paradise!

Janelle and I spent a full week here on Railay, and although the weather sucked most days (rain, rain, go away!) we made the most of it. Whenever there was a patch of sun, we'd throw off our clothes and run like madmen down to the sand to soak in whatever rays we could, desperate to maintain our golden tans. Even under cloudy skies, however, it was never cold, and we swam nearly every day in those beautiful waters. Ahhh man...I really don't wanna go home now!

And, if scenery weren't enough for us, we had the whole entire gang together here. Lucie and Baz had arrived the day before we did, and we ended up staying at the same hotel together, Viewpoint Resort, complete with bungalows and swimming pool. One night in the bar Janelle and I looked up and saw...Dave and Anthony...strolling in! What the hell! Yes, those English brothers that we had partied with in Ko Lanta had now made their way to Railay, with two of their own friends in tow, Andy and Carmen. And then I got an email from two old travelling buddies, Bobbi and Michael, who I had spent time with back in Mui Ne and Saigon, Vietnam. (Remember 'The Seashells' pop band?) ;-) Holy shit! The gang's all here!

Put together, we had a group of ten, and we certainly were a backpacker tour de force - and a party machine to be reckoned with! Nearly every night was spent at a place called The Last Bar where we consumed copious amounts of alcohol and stayed up far too late. What a blast and a half! Despite the fact that the bar played literally the exact same songs every single night, we had a good four consecutive nights of partying and everyone had a really great time. The beach is a good place to nurse a hang over, but luckily for me I fared quite well in that department with a minimal of suffering. We never let the rain or gray get to us cause when you've got great company you're having fun no matter what you're doing.

It really was a perfect way to end our trip. How fitting is it that our last stop is the one that is the most beautiful, and the one with the most amount of friends? Spectacular scenery, eight funtastic buds, delicious Thai food, a nice room to stay in, and a few pockets of gorgeous sun, all blended together into seven days of holiday bliss. Looks like Belinda Carlisle had it right after all - heaven is a place on Earth! ;-)

After our last day Janelle and I flew back to spend one more night in Bangkok. It was fun to wander thru Khao San Road again, and we stayed in the same hotel as we did two months ago - D&D Inn. After grabbing a quick bite from the street and taking in the circus for one last time, it was time to head to bed. We've got an early morning tomorrow! The next morning we headed to the airport to get on seperate planes heading to two different corners of the globe. She's travelling to Vancouver to spend a few days there with some friends, and I'm heading back to Korea for five final days in the Land Of The Morning Calm before flying back to Canada.

The 'Adventures In Asia' chapter of The S2H World Tour is almost finished, but not quite yet. Stay tuned to read about my final days in Korea, as well as two special bonus entries, summarizing Project Wanderlust with an Awards Ceremony, and giving you a run-down of Beaches: The Best Of The Best. Definitely a must-read for anyone who wants the inside scoop on travelling in Southeast Asia, and some more insights into PW. So don't touch that dial! There's more yet buddy, I promise you, I'm not saying goodbye to my fan base yet...

And, of course, there's always future chapters of The S2H World Tour, which are already in the works for the near future. You didn't think I was gonna stop travelling now, did you? Just cause I've been going for two years already doesn't mean I wanna stop - or even slow down for that matter! And you thought I was going to "settle down!?!?" Good heavens, no my child!

I've only just begun... :-)

Oh Mylanta! I'm In Ko Lanta!

2005-11-30T16:16:00.000+01:00

So with our new course charted out, Janelle, Roy, and I rode the ferry from over-priced, over-crowded Ko Phi Phi to Ko Lanta. Ko Lanta is only an hour and a half or so by boat, and is quickly becoming one of the more popular islands in the region. It was a bright, sunny day, and I took the opportunity to do a bit of sunning on the deck of the ferry on the way to Lanta.

Because of the tout we met on Phi Phi, we already had a hotel and a ride waiting for us, so it was nice not having to deal with the chaos of arriving in a new place without a place to stay. As a backpacker, whenever you arrive at a new city/island/country, you're always swarmed immediately upon arrival with touts asking you if you have a place to stay, if you need a ride, if you want to stay at their place, etc. This may sound helpful, but when it's dozens - or more - of touts just screaming over each other, thrusting flyers in your face, and literally pulling you to come with them, the whole charade is more than a little overwhelming.

And Ko Lanta wasn't any different. There was a literal gauntlet that you had to walk through right as soon as you got off the ferry. A long line of touts - probably at least 30 or 40 I'd say - screaming and jumping and dancing and throwing shit at you just to get your attention so you'll go with them. Thankfully we could just ignore it all and follow our own tout to our ride.

Our ride turned out to be a big pick-up truck, and so Janelle and Roy and an English couple rode inside the cab with the driver (how they all fit is beyond me, but Asians are good at defying the laws of physics and packing people into ever-smaller spaces) and I jumped into the back of the truck, along with five young Israeli teenagers and a 63-year old American male. A second later we were all racing down the road through Lanta, wind in our hair, clutching desperately onto the mountain of backpacks so as not to get flung out the back, on the way to our hotel. Good times!

We stayed at the Lanta Pavillion Resort and it was quite a nice place. Janelle and I managed to bargain down the price of our room as were said we'd stay for a whole week, and so by paying up front you can get major discounts. Our room was quite nice, with having our own bed each, aircon, and even a hot water shower. We were all set for a week of fun in the sun here in Ko Lanta, but unfortunately, Mother Nature had other plans...

It rained almost every single day of our week-long stay on Ko Lanta, and here we were thinking that we could escape from the rain by switching coasts. Oh, you silly tourists! It rains everywhere, all the time in Thailand! Technically it's the end of the rainy season and beginning of the dry season, but according to the locals this year is much wetter than normal. It kinda sucks getting so much of the wet stuff here towards the end of our holiday, but Janelle and I still managed to have a good time on Ko Lanta.

We got a bit of beach time in, between rainy periods, but to be honest the beach wasn't all that spectacular. The sand was a bit coarse, there was a lot of broken coral bits mixed in with it, and a lot of rocks and coral in the too-shallow water which made swimming a bit challenging. When you're on the Southeast Asia Circuit, and you see a lot of beaches, you get to be a bit picky. I'm sure anyone at home would give their left nut/titty to spend a day at this beach, but it's hard when you've 'been around the island block' like I have (and oh baby yeah I've been around that block!) and not to compare it with others.

Fortunately we met some great people to during our stay on Lanta which helped to liven things up. On our first night we met two brothers named Dave and Anthony from England, and they were a blast and a half to hang out with. On our first night on the island they took us out to one of the bars, Opium, and we had a fantastic night drinking beer, playing pool, and chatting it up. It turned out to be quite a late night, with quite a few drinks, and one that involved more transport in the back of a pickup to and from the bar. When we got back to our resort we went up the beach to another bar, and I think by the time Janelle and I went to bed it was around 4am. Good times!

Dave and Anthony left a day or two later, and it was disappointing to see those two very fun lads go, but luckily new friends came along to keep Nellie, Roy, and I entertained. A very lively couple - again from England - strolled into town and we became fast friends with Baz and Lucie. One of the nights in town we all went back to Opium again, and had another round(s) of drinks late into the night. Lucie and Janelle did some dancing while us boys 'shot the shit' and enjoyed the warm evening. And of course we took - again - silly drunken photos in the back of the truck on the way home again. Too fun!

After a few days of the rain and gloom, Janelle and I were getting a bit of cabin fever. We wanted to be out and about doing things on the island, but all the activities are outdoors and therefore weather-dependent. Finally one night we had some clear skies and so Janelle and I decided to book a boat trip for the next day and hoped for good weather.

And on this day, Mother Nature smiled down on us and offered us a truly beautiful day. Oh, she can be so kind sometimes! It was a clear sunny day and the two of us boarded a big boat with a bunch of other tourists (Roy had already left the island at this point.) It was a day full of snorkelling and other water adventures, and was action-packed all day. We went to four islands altogether, and the first two were for snorkelling. And what amazing snorkelling it was! We were down in Ko Lanta National Marine Park which is full of all these tiny islands that rise up steeply out of the Andaman Sea's emerald green waters like limestone sugar lumps, and surrounding them is tons and tons of coral. And of course, where there's coral, there's tropical fish. On both islands there were so many fish of so many shapes and colours it was hard to believe they were real. And they weren't afraid of us at all! At times I was actually swimming through entire schools of tropical fish - like there were inches from my face/hands - and it was so magical! Even the technicolour coral reefs were pretty spectacular. Wow!

We had lunch on the boat after the second island, and then it was on to Island #3. This island's draw is the fact that it has a secret sea cave. Okay it's not secret anymore, but it used to be. This island's cliffs are again sheer and plunge right into the sea, but there's this cave that has an entrance right at sea level that you can swim into. We all swam into the cave as a group, and led by our guide, we swam deeper and deeper into the cave. Now as you know I'm a bit claustophobic and don't like caves all that much, but luckily for me this one was pretty wide and the ceilings were quite high above the water's surface the whole way through. Well we got about half-way through the cave, around a bend, and it was pitch black inside. Seriously, you couldn't see a damn thing at all. The guide had brought a flashlight to help us find the way, but it was so small it barely lit anything up at all. At this point I started to get really nervous, but then right at that moment we turned another corner and saw light at the end of the tunnel.

And what an amazing surprise awaited us there...

At the end of the cave, you come out, and you're on a beach! A secret beach! It's a beach that's surrounded completely by rock walls that rise several hundred feet 360 degrees around this beach. The only way to get to this beach is through that cave! It's like it's in a hole or something in the middle of the island. It was unbelievable! It looked like something that would be built for a Hollywood set, like you would never imagine it possible to occur naturally on its own. Apparently, back in the day, pirates used to store treasure here cause no one knew about it's whereabouts, and in recent years locals come to the beach to catch birds that live in nests in the surrounding cliffs. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life! We spent a few minutes wandering around the small beach, and gazing up at the narrow rock enclosure all around us. Wow!

After swimming back out of the cave, we switched to a speed boat which took us to our fourth and final island. This place - god knows where we were in the park at this point - was a small island with the nicest beach ever. A place for us to swim and relax and just take in the scenery. It was truly a freaking gorgeous beach. Soft white sand, clear waters that were the temperature of a bathtub, numerous islands off in the distance, and a big blue sky with puffy white-cotton clouds. It was seriously right out of a postcard! It's hard to believe that these places are actually real, even when you're standing right in the middle of this heaven on earth. Janelle and I did not want to leave, and did some swimming and sunning before it was time to go.

We took the speed boat back to the harbour, only this time went around the back side of the island through all these cool mangrove swamps. We got back around 4pm and were so excited from our truly fantastic day. This one perfect day more than made up all those days of rain and cloud, and we felt that our diversion to Lanta was now validated!

You'd think that would be the end of our great day, but things were just getting going. That night our resort was hosting a big party to celebrate the grand opening of it's beachside bar, and of course we had to partake in those festivities! Everyone who was anyone was at this party, and it was such a blast. Baz and Lucie were there of course, as well as lots of other guests from all over - the chatty girls from Ireland, smiley Johnny from Finland, and the group of six Swedes who are so fucking gorgeous it hurts to look at them cause god they all belong on the cover of a magazine. Later on we made friends with Ian from England and Anthony from France, and everyone was mingling together.

Several pina coladas later, the party started to get a little more crazy. Our table was the wild one at the party, and we were the first to begin dancing. And then things really got going. Janelle ripped open Lucie's blouse, exposing her granny bra and ample bosom, much to Lucie's shock/glee. Baz and Lucie rocked out to air guitar with a broomstick, and then later with an actual guitar. Limbo got started up, and the Swedes were all gifted in that department. Shots were a-flowing. 1000 crazy photos were taken. Everyone was laughing. It was one of the craziest, funnest nights of my trip yet. It was all a wondrous blur of one crazy moment after another and was truly a great party. I passed out sometime around 2:30am, I think, and Janelle hit the hay sometime after that.

Baz and Lucie left the next morning, and luckily Nellie and I had a day to relax (and recover) on the island. It was another gray day, so we were sure glad that we had caught the nice weather the day before. The next day Janelle and I packed up all our stuff, said goodbye to Ko Lanta, and boarded a ferry for our next - and final destination of the trip - Railay Beach on Krabi. I'm sad that Project Wanderlust is almost over - can you belive how fast five months has gone by? - but I'm really excited about this place. Krabi is world-famous for its incredible scenery, and I think it's going to make a great ending to a really, really awesome trip!

The Rebirth Of An Island

2005-11-27T14:20:00.000+01:00

So....our last big journey....today's trip should be our last 'major' day of travelling on the trip, but who's to say really. The Travel Gods like to throw curveballs at you once in a while, so you never can really be all that sure of anything while on the move.

Our destination today was Ko Phi Phi, located on Thailand's west coast, and since we were leaving Ko Samui, on the east coast, that involved a combination of ferries and buses again. Luckily, it was smooth sailing all the way. An hour and a half ferry ride, than an hour bus ride, than a two bus ride on another bus, and then another ferry, this time for just over two hours. We sailed into Phi Phi's harbour in the late afternoon and immediately we were left awe-struck by its beauty.

However, it's not just the island's striking scenery that makes this island so very famous here in Thailand. Only 11 months ago Ko Phi Phi was one of the islands that was absolutely devastated by the Dec. 26 tsunami. To understand how bad it was, you have to know a bit about Phi Phi's geography. Ko Phi Phi is a dumbell-shaped island, and it's the narrow isthmus connecting the two highlands where all the hotel, shops, and restaurants are. Or, should I say, were. When the wave rolled into the shallow harbour, tourists were caught completely off-guard by the quickly-appraoching crest that was nearly 3 metres high. Running the few hundred metres or so to the other side of the isthmus, panicked tourists looked up in horror to see a second wave - this one nearly 6 metres high - crashing in on them from the other side. They hardly stood a chance. The island was literally swept clean, and hundreds, if not thousands, lost their lives. Those that happened to be on higher ground at the time, or on the upper floors of hotels, were lucky enough to have made it, and today their living nightmare tales, retold in poster boards around the island, remind us of the disaster that struck not so long ago.

Ko Phi Phi was one of the prime jewels in Thailand's crown of island paradises, and so the government, along with the generous help of volunteers from around the world, have worked quickly to restore the island to its former beauty. The white beaches have been swept clean, and trees re-planted, but the middle isthmus still remains as a barren wasteland, strewn with a mix of piles of rubble and construction equipment busy rebuilding the hotels. It's such a morbidly fascinating juxtaposition. Look one way and you see a perfect beach surrounded by soaring lush green limestone cliffs and a turquoise sea. Turn 180 degrees and you see the shattered remains of what was once a crowded and busy piece of land, now empty except for the ghosts which must wander through unseen. It's chilling.

Phi Phi registered a 90% drop in tourism during the few six months after the tsunami, but the tourists have since come back. And oh my, have they ever returned in a big way. Prior to the tsunami, Phi Phi had 1500 hotel rooms. 1000 were swept away leaving only 500, most of which sat empty for months on end. Now if you revisit Phi Phi's harbour, you're greeted with boat after boat after boat packed full of tourists pouring in from nearby Phuket and Krabi. The island has been flooded again - with tourists curious to see the scenery and how the island has recovered - and Phi Phi simply can't cope with this second wave.

It's high season now, and with the onslaught of tourists, hotel prices have shot straight up into the stratosphere. A 400 baht a night bungalow can now fetch 1200 and above, and people are so eager they'll take just about anything. The arrival of our massive ferry spawned a fury of overwhelmed touts wheelin' and deelin' out overpriced rooms to the desperate tourists willing to take any room, just to get a room. In a mere 10 minutes pretty much all the remaining rooms on the island were snatched up. And being one of the last passengers off the ferry, Janelle and I were left with little choice but to take what was available. The cheapest we could get was 1000 baht a night for a resort - way on the other side of the island that's accessible only by boat. Way out of our price range, and not exactly what we had in mind, but I guess we'll take what we can get.

A Dutch guy named Roy ended up being ferried along with us, and we took the choppy boat ride over to our resort. We arrived at Relax Resort just as the sun was disappearing behind the island's hills, and had to jump out into the waves to get to the hotel. The resort itself was rather....basic.....and very isolated....but quite charming indeed. A string of wood and bamboo bungalows along a small beach with a small restaurant and bar. Nice, but far from town and all the action, and we were left completely dependent on the owners to transport us via their long boat to get us anywhere. But it'll do for a night, and once we settled in we quite liked the place. It was a cool and windy evening, and we spent the night in the restaurant and on the beach chatting with new friends and chasing the giant sand crabs.

Our plan was to stay the night, and then in the morning head back to the village to try and find something else. Preferrably something cheaper than this hotel (which we really can't afford,) and something not so isolated a-la Robinson Crusoe! Six of us from the hotel took the morning boat back to Phi Phi's village, only to arrive at the same time as another one of those massive tourist-filled ferries. We were all a bit panicked, as other guests had told us about their own difficulties trying to find an affordable - or an available - room on the island. Apparently things were so busy that people were actually having to sleep on the beach at night cause there was 'no room at the inn.' Holy cow! Things are crazy here!

Running back to the info centre, and actually beating the boat's passengers, we were shocked again to hear from the touts that all the 'cheap' rooms had already been snatched up that day. The only places left were uber-expensive ones, or those in isolated corners of the island. Hmmm...what to do?

It was at this point that a different tout - from another island - approached us with some brochures for resorts over there. Ko Lanta is just over an hour away by boat, and also has beautiful beaches, but you can find a nice bungalow for about 400 baht! This sounds like a much better deal!

And so, Janelle and I - once again - abandoned an island early and changed our plans. Roy decided to come along to Ko Lanta as well, as well as quite a few hundred other tourists left feeling stranded - or just plain poor - by Phi Phi's current strains. It was sad to say goodbye so early to such a strikingly gorgeous place (voted the third most beautiful island in the world, and also where they filmed the movie 'The Beach'), but I promised myself I'd visit again one day - during the low season!

Off to Ko Lanta we sailed, always in search of that perfect island paradise and that perfect beach. My eternal quest. Tune in later to see how Ko Lanta measures up with it's nearby more-famous cousins. :-)

The Amazing Race

2005-11-25T14:24:00.000+01:00

Leaving Singapore, and unaware of it at the time, Janelle and I were about to begin on our longest journey yet. We were attempting to make it from Singapore to Ko Samui in Thailand in less than 48 hours. Leaving Spore at 1pm, would we be able to make it to that beautiful Thai island by the following night? Let's see what happens... The Amazing Race has begun!

We boarded our train and arrived back in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia just over seven hours later. Our train was late, and this left us with a very narrow time window to be able to being the second leg of the trip. Upon arriving at the station we had less than an hour to disembark from the first train, run up and buy tickets for the next one, eat dinner, change money over, and then get on the new train. With some mad running we managed to complete all of those tasks, and make it onto the second train leaving KL! Check Point #! We're still in the race!

This train was a sleeper train, and so Janelle and I settled in for our long ride into Thailand. Scheduled to be a 15-hour train ride, I wanted to try and sleep as much of it away as I could. I passed out in my bed and woke up the next morning just before immigration. We had to get off the train, go through Malaysian and Thai immigration, and then get back on the train again. Normally this is all a fairly quick procedure, but no one there seemed to have their shit together, and we all spent a lot of time just waiting on the train platform. Finally we had all been processed, and were back on the rails again, now in Thailand. Check Point #2!

We rolled into Hat Yai in southern Thailand about two hours late. It was now almost noon and the last ferry to Ko Samui left the coast - about 200 hundred kilometers to the north of where we were - at 6pm. Would we be able to make it? Here in Hat Yai we had our biggest roadblock to date - a nasty Thai lady at a shady travel agency. The Julie Cooper of Hat Yai, she was shrewd and greedy and when she looked at the two us with all our backpacks and desperate faces, all she saw were dollar signs to be made! She tried to sell us two bus tickets up to the ferry place for a 'special price' of 4000 baht! That's like a hundred bucks US!!! FUCK THAT, LADY! Hell, I could buy my own island in Thailand for that amount of money! When a 15 hour train ride costs less than twenty bucks, you can imagine the shock when you're offered a mere four-hour bus ride and short ferry hop for such a high price.

She tried to bargain us into buying those tickets, and was speaking a million miles a minute and kept trying to get us all worried that we'd miss the boat and that we had to 'leave right now!', but we weren't buying into her charade. No way we're gonna fork out that amount of cash! I'd rather lose our little race than give that greedy wench ten times the amount of money for what's fair! Sorry biatch, my sis and I have been around the Backpacker's Block more than a few times and we know what you're up to.

We ended up getting just basic bus transport to Surat Thani (ferry town) from her for 400 baht. Essentially the same journey, only minus the ferry ticket, for a tenth of the price. By the time the bus came by to pick us up it was 12:30pm. The clock was ticking. We just passed our first roadblock, but what would the delay cost us?

And of course our little minibus had to drive through every single street of Hat Yai to fill up the van before leaving. We cruised up and down through the city until all 11 seats were full, and then finally we were on the highway heading north. Less than four hours now. Tick tock tick tock tick tock...

A gas station stop later, plus a food/bathroom break, and then dropping every single passenger in the bus off before us, our bus driver arrived at the ferry pier....forty minutes after the last ferry had already left. NO!!!!! WE LOST THE RACE!!!! :-(

We were bummed to have missed the boat and to be stuck in Surat Thani overnight, but ahhhh well....can't say we didn't try. We bought our morning ferry ticket, checked into a hotel, and had some dinner. The next morning we caught the ferry and two and a half hours later arrived in Ko Samui. It was around 11am now, meaning that we've essentially been travelling for the last 46 hours. But hey, Ko Samui was bright and hot and gorgeous, and we had a white beach waiting for us.

We found a nice place to stay on the island, right in the main traveller's beach area, Chaweng, and made a b-line for the beach. Ko Samui is quite a large island, and it even has its own airport. This has made the island quite developed, and it was quite different from what I was expecting. The island resembled Bali a lot, with all of its stores and restaurants and bars, and all the Western chains, but it was not without its charm. The beach is long, and filled with the softest, whitest sand I've seen yet on this trip. It was like walking on silky powder. God, it was gorgeous! And with gentle breezes blowing in from off the Gulf of Thailand, it was so so comfortable there.

And then the weather changed.

After two days of beautiful sun, a mini-hurricane descended upon us and everything changed. It began to rain, no, POUR, the winds howled, and the surf rose and rose and rose. Soon enough that gorgeous beach was completely submerged under the pounding waves, which now reached all the way up to the edge of our bungalow's restaurant. So much for working on our tans!

Janelle and I weathered the storm as best we could, but after two days of cabin fever, and with our next destination supposed to be nearby Ko Tao, we decided to change plans. Knowing that if this weather kept up, we wouldn't be able to dive on world-renowned diving paradise Ko Tao anyway, so may as well skip across to the other coast. Hopefully we can find some sun there!

I was a bit disappointed to leave Ko Samui so soon, or rather with half our time being in the torrential rains, but hey you can't control the weather. At least we ate really well on Ko Samui. The island's got a lot of great restaurants, and it had actually stopped raining our last night in town so we went out for a special dinner. We went to a restaurant right next to the beach and had truly delicious seafood dinners. I had shark steak with a lemongrass cream sauce and it was so freaking yummy!!! A good way to end our stay on Samui. We'll head to Ko Phi Phi next, and hope that things are brighter over there.